W. German 226 w/a 20 round mag of +P+ 115…..
I realize it doesn't fit all of your criteria, but were I in your shoes, I would buy myself a nice P226 of whatever decorative flavor suits and be happy. They are great guns. If you want something smaller, maybe a P228 or P225?
My three favorite 9mms for ergonomics are the Browning HP, the S&W Model 39-2 and the Kahr Arms Model T9. I'm also very pleased with my recently acquired Beretta M-9 although your hand size should at least be medium for this gun. The latter gun can hold up to 18 rounds without an extended magazine. I would not want to find myself at the wrong end of any of these handguns.
boatbumm101 Maybe a Mossberg 20ga super bantam would be a better choice for home defense that can be handled by kids and women that are not handgun folks . .
I have a Tristar C100 (made by Canik) and it is a genuinely great pistol. It was my bedside pistol for a while, but lately I've been buying up some of the .40s folks are giving away right now - $385 for a H&K USP Compact is hard to pass up, and I paid under $300 for a SIG P226. The P226 is taking over bedside for the Canik.
Anyway, my point is I vote for the Canik. I don't even like striker fired guns and I'll likely end up with a TP9SF at some point.
The gun I'd recommend that isn't on the list is the king of all 9mms - the Browning Hi Power. My #2 would be a CZ75 (or the Tristar C100!) - I know you said no DA/SA, but it can be carried cocked and locked so DA/SA operation isn't a requirement.