@Practical,
I see two avenues available to you due to N.Y. gun laws, and neither requires leaving the State!
First is a J frame with a reduced power rebound spring. Back in the late '80s, I purchased a 36-6 new, but the trigger pull was harder than I wanted. I replaced the rebound spring. I shoot only either factory 148gr wadcutters, or handloaded 148gr wadcutters or 150gr semi-wadcutters. In the almost 30 years I have had this revolver, I have never experienced an ignition issue.
Second, would be a semi-auto that would be of a 1911 style that does NOT have a full length recoil guide. This past November, I attended a defensive shooting summit for disabled shooters, and they taught two techniques for cycling a semi-auto for amputees. The easy way to charge the pistol is if the slide is locked back, just slingshot the slide. But if the slide is in battery, you can either:
a) use the rear sight to catch on your holster or a hard surface, and push the grip towards the muzzle to complete charging the pistol, or
b) place the recoil spring plug against a hard surface (edge of a table) and push the pistol against that surface without catching the barrel muzzle.
Technique "b" is effective and provides a number of opportunities to improve your pistol choices.