Whw... A lot of good, sensible advice given here. Let me add one caution that deals with a subject that nearly caused an indoor ND for me. With your Chief, as you unload there is the distinct possibility that a live round can be "caught" by the thumbpiece, not drop free, and then make its way back into its chamber. If you are working quickly, you might not notice this and end up with an "empty" gun that actually has one round in it. I had this happen years ago and I caught it at the time, but it was a wake-up call.
If you always turn the revolver so that the muzzle is pointing up (as S&W's literature recommends) when you press the extractor rod to unload it, all rounds should drop free. I had gotten cavalier about that and the results suffered accordingly. Even so, there is no substitute for careful inspection to make sure all chambers are empty - and then checking again.
Getting back to the question about autoloaders, I agree with others that unloading is probably a danger in its own right (possible confusion) and that if secured, there is no pressing need for it. If you are one of those who is not diametrically opposed to pistols with magazine safeties, you might consider using one and popping out the magazine as an added precaution. We all understand this is not a safety procedure in and of itself, but it is one more impediment to an AD/ND.
When my kids were little, I set aside the 1911s in favor of a 6906, and later a 3913, and I always removed the mag before setting the gun down. It made me feel a little better, in fact, good enough, I guess, but I never thought of it as a good substitute for unloading the gun, when I thought it was necessary.
Ultimately, you know your daily routine and what level of readiness you think you need to be in. You're best qualified to make the decisions, but I do not think you are foolish to worry about bullet set-back and the possible confusion from loading/unloading. Now that my kids are older and wiser, I could probably go back to the 1911s and C1, but as long as they live there, I would rather be safe than sorry and do not feel I am in any sort of danger that makes having a loaded and locked pistol a necessary thing.
BTW - in Indiana, I believe there is an exclusion for parents who have proper licenses to carry when delivering their kids to school functions. You cannot enter the school with the gun, but having it with you while seated in your vehicle is not a violation. You might see if there is a similar exclusion in your state's law. That could ease some of your burden.