I bought the wrong gun, now what?

Find yourself a steel J frame S&W Model 36 or Model 60 stainless. They are both excellent revolvers with extra weight to tame that snappy recoil. My mother is 68 years old and loves her vintage stainless Rossi/Interarms M88 .38 Spl which is a copy of a S&W model 60. Avoid the airweight/lightweight guns if you are recoil sensitive. Use standard pressure defense rounds such as Hornady 158 Gr. XTP. My mother carries this ammo choice and has no issues with it. She started out with a S&W 642 and had a hard time handling the recoil from the airweight frame. She has carried this combo for 10+ years and has the confidence to deploy it on a threat.
 
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Yet another vote for trying the Hogue tamer grip. It makes an amazing difference, if you can live with the size. (I couldn't.) Dirt cheap.

Second suggestion trade it for a 43c. Zero recoil, cheap practice, and if you shoot somebody with 8 Stingers they'll know it.

Good luck.
 
The 686 3" is a heavy weight at 36.8 ounces unloaded for EDC. A carry gun should be one you feel confident shooting and at ease carrying and concealing so you take it with you rather than leaving it at home.

I had a bias against pistols and favored revolvers until I learned that they can be unforgiving too. When a revolver malfunctions, you are in deep doo-doo.

I have a Walther PPS40 that punishes my hand after one mag, so I can appreciate how you feel about the light weight 642 CT hurting your hand. I limit shooting my PPS40 to one mag when I take it to the range.

Beware of developing a dreaded "flinch" by continuing to use a gun you feel is a bad fit for you.

The American Rifleman sponsored a shoot for women to determine what handgun they found best for themselves.

Here are the results...

Right For You: Ladies Pistol Project 3 Results | An Official Journal Of The NRA

Good luck finding the best fit for you, and enjoy your range times.
 
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Your where I was years ago when hubby and I first retired. Trying to figure out this important new skill is surprisingly complicated. I took two group classes and three private range classes, as well as purchased four completely different carry guns, before I found what worked the best for me.
Suggest you put your location down in your bio, since some members might be able to offer more assistance.
Good luck.

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I should have mentioned ammunition, too. There is a big difference in recoil in a .38 Special based on the bullet weight of the ammunition. Definitely investigate this before buying another weapon - and possibly a Hogue Tamer grip. The Tamer is a good design, IMO, if a bit bulky, but not too bad in that department. Very inexpensive to tinker with these things compared to a new gun. Good luck!
 
Marshall Tom and I are of very similar minds.

I also frequently see and hear local gun shop staff, instructors and various self appointed experts give epically bad advice on what people should carry, particularly to women.

An alloy frame J frame revolver like the 642 is close to the last hand handgun I'd recommend to a fairly new shooter for self defense.

If someone had a 642 and wanted to use it, I'd start by discussing ammunition options. A .38+P 125 gr or 135 gr load will probably have objectionable recoil, but there are some other options. Hornady makes a 90 gr standard pressure .38 Special low recoil load and Federal also offers a standard pressure low recoil load. You can also just use a light target load. The velocity will be down around 650 fps and it won't expand, but it's going to work just fine the vast majority of the time.

Let's discuss what matters and what doesn't.

1) Way too many people focus on self defense cartridge with some, certain minimum level of performance. That's a flawed approach for a couple reasons:

The vast majority of defensive handgun uses don't involve actually firing the hand gun. The data is a little hard to find on this as many uses of this type are not reported. They cover a broad range:

- An armed citizen using good SA and identifying an assailant while they are still at a distance, and / or not responding with the expected level of fear. For most successful criminals losing the element of surprise and encountering a victim who isn't displaying the expected amount of fear are red flags that usually prompt a decision to just choose an easier target.

- An armed citizen who reaches for and or draws their handgun to ward off an attack. Again, most successful criminals don't want to get shot and they will stop doing what ever it is that is about to result in the, getting shot. Realizing they have just accosted an armed citizen who is fixing to shoot them is again enough to convince the assailant that they need to be some where else right now. In that case you may not even have time to get the handgun out of the holster before the assailant flees and the imminent threat evaporates.

- In much rarer cases the would be victim actually gets the gun drawn and fires at the assailant. Even if the would be victim misses the assailant isn't likely to stay around.

This is also pretty much where incident reporting *might* occur. It still might not happen depending on the circumstances.

(This of course assumes the assailant doesn't know the victim, as that's a whole different issue and if someone is in a relationship where that's a problem, they need to just leave as a gun isn't going to solve that, at least until you've left or booted the assailant out and gotten a restraining order. If someone is in that post restraining order situation and their ex isn't the type to abide by it, then we need to talk about a more substantial weapon and self defense plan.)

- if an armed citizen actually shoots an assailant, about half the time the assailant will stop the assault even when the wound itself isn't incapacitating. Getting shot sucks and most people with more or less intact cognitive functions are going to rationalize along these lines:

"Oh darn…I've been shot! Getting shot really sucks! I don't want to get shot anymore, so I going to either run away or surrender."

Again that kind of psychological stop happens about half the time when defensive handgun use progresses far enough that the assailant is actually shot.

The other half that require multiple hits to stop the assailant are more likely to involve an assailant who is on something, emotionally charged, or in some other way functioning in a diminished capacity.

That half of the already very small subset of defensive handgun uses is where the cartridge finally becomes a factor.

Even then, there's a strong argument that someone rapidly delivering all 7 rounds of .32 ACP from a PPK to the center of the assailant's torso may be a lot more effective than someone delivering just two peripheral hits with even a .44 Magnum.

In short, don't get hung up on the cartridge. Choose a cartridge that you can shoot proficiently.


2) Pistol or revolver doesn't really matter. Neither does magazine capacity. As noted above, most defensive uses of a handgun don't involve actual shots being fired. I'll also suggest that actually having to fire already represents a failure in SA. (But if an imminent threat exists and you have no other option, don't hesitate.) In the vast majority of armed citizen self defense shoots it'll be over in done in 5 rounds or less, fired at 5 yards or less in 5 seconds or less. A revolver or single stack semi auto pistol will get it done just fine.

3) Size matters.

You can't beat physics and light handguns will be more unpleasant to shoot and slower to get back on target than heavy handguns, when all other things are equal.

Let's say you are shooting a 158 gr .38+P load at 800 fps in a 16 oz 642.

Charge Weight: 10.0 gr Muzzle Velocity: 920.0 ft/s
Firearm Weight: 1.0 lb Bullet Weight: 158.0 gr
Output Data
Recoil Velocity: 24.8 ft/s Recoil Energy: 9.5 ft•lbs
Recoil Impulse: 0.9 lb•s

Now let's shoot the same load in a 36 oz 3" Model 66:

Charge Weight: 10.0 gr Muzzle Velocity: 800.0 ft/s
Firearm Weight: 2.2 lb Bullet Weight: 158.0 gr
Output Data
Recoil Velocity: 11.0ft/s Recoil Energy: 4.2 ft•lbs
Recoil Impulse: 0.8 lb•s

The recoil impulse is the same (same bullet and charge weight at the same velocity), but due to the greater mass of the Model 66, the recoil velocity and recoil energy are less than half of the values for the 642.

Lighter bullets also equate to less recoil, in most cases. Let's look at the Model 66 again but with a 125 gr .38 +P load at 875 fps:

Charge Weight: 10.0 gr Muzzle Velocity: 875.0 ft/s
Firearm Weight: 2.2 lb Bullet Weight: 125.0 gr
Output Data
Recoil Velocity: 9.9 ft/s Recoil Energy: 3.4 ft•lbs
Recoil Impulse: 0.7 lb•s

We again see a significant reduction in recoil on the order of 10% for recoil velocity and 20% for recoil energy.

Let's also look at lower recoil loads like the standard pressure .38 Special 90 gr Hornady FTX at 900 fps:

Charge Weight: 10.0 gr Muzzle Velocity: 900.0 ft/s
Firearm Weight: 2.2 lb Bullet Weight: 90.0 gr
Output Data
Recoil Velocity: 8.1 ft/s Recoil Energy: 2.3 ft•lbs
Recoil Impulse: 0.6 lb•s

Again we see an even more significant reduction in recoil with an additional 20% reduction in recoil velocity and a 33% reduction in recoil energy. Our recoil numbers with low recoil ammo in a Model 66 are now a bit less than 1/3rd of where we started with 158 gr +P ammo in a 642.

The advantages of a heavier revolver make the Model 66 a much better choice for a recoil sensitive shooter as:

- it will be more more comfortable to shoot;
- the shooter will shoot it a lot more and become much more proficient with it;
- the larger heavier revolver will be easier to shoot well;
- for those rare right hand tail defensive handgun uses where you have to shoot, hit the assailant and need to fire multiple shots where terminal ballistics are more important, the larger handgun will allow you to shoot a more effective self defense load while still being within your recoil tolerance; and
- your follow up shots will be faster.

As long as you can comfortably carry and conceal the larger, heavier revolver, there isn't any downside.

Unfortunately, I often hear "experts" recommend a light weight handgun to women on the basis that if it is heavy, they won't carry it. A few of them might also recognize the odds are small that it'll ever be shot. However, whether someone shoots it or not they absolutely need to be confident in it and their ability to shoot it. It's ironic that the more confidence they have in it and their ability to use it, the less likely they will have to use it for all the reasons outlined above where criminals sense a threat and move on to a softer target.

4) Fit matters.

My method in training a new shooter is to have them:
- focus on the target;
- slowly and sadly draw the handgun and slowly bring it up into their line of sight;
- place the front sight blade on the target;
- pause and align the rear sights with the front sight; and
- keep the sights aligned while they squeeze the trigger.

With repetition they'll soon discover the sights are already aligned when the front blade comes on target as their brain knows exactly how the muscles in their hand and arm should be tensioned to align the sights. At that point the pause is just to verify the front sight is on target and the sights are aligned.

At that point we start working on speed in the draw without compromising safety and speed in delivering the shot without compromising accuracy.

With sufficient practice and repetition that "pause" is just a very small fraction of a second where they verify the front blade is on target and that they still need to shoot. Since they have trained to the point that they are unconsciously competent in the basics, they have all their available bandwidth available to asses the situation and the threat and the need to shoot - or not.

That's a long intro to "it's a lot harder to get naturally occurring sight alignment if the handgun doesn't fit your hand.

When selecting a hand gun, place the web of your hand over the back strap as you would if you were drawing it focus on a point 20 or so ft away, then bring the handgun up into your line of sight. Can you see the front sight?

If it is hidden by the barrel or slide, it's probably not the handgun for you. If the gun offers set of different backstraps and you can install one that fits better, it might be a good choice, but insist the gun shop let you try them out before you buy it.

If the front sight is visible but way above the rear sights the handgun again doesn't fit you. Again a different set of grips might solve the problem - or not.

What you *need* - and you need it far more than you need the latest gee whiz wonder pistol or the "best" self defense round - is a handgun that fits your hand so well that the sights are very close to being aligned when you draw and raise it into your line of sight. You also need to ensure that with a DA revolver or DA semi auto that the trigger reach is short enough that you can get your trigger finger all the way on the trigger up to the first joint to give you adequate leverage for a consistent and accurate DA pull.

——-

Now…with that as background, a few suggestions:

- Try your 642 with low recoil ammo. It might work for you.

- A 2 1/2" or 3" Model 66 or 686+ would be a great choice, provided it fits you and provided you can comfortably carry and conceal it.

A 3" 686+ is my preferred concealed carry revolver as I shoot it exceptionally well, and comfortably, even with full power 125 gr self defense loads. I have found that with a well made double thickness belt and a well designed IWB holster it is very comfortable to carry all day long. It's also quite concealable under a vest or under an untucked T shirt.

678A6476-F2A2-4CA2-A3E5-CC1BBA6899A1_zpsigyupmtp.jpg
 
A steel frame gun like a model 60 or 649 with decent grips and standard pressure .38 defensive ammo should do the trick. discovered this for myself. Train with standard .38 special ammo it is close to the recoil if not slightly more that the defensive rounds due to heavier (usually 158 grn) bullets.
 
Female CCW choices harder than Male for sure

As far as guns go don't discount a S&W Model 31 in .32 Long. Painless cartridge as far as recoil, muzzle flash go, short sight radius same as 38 snubbies, but easy to carry, open or concealed.

My wife (small hands, slight stature) prefers the Model 31-1 with purse carry. My EDC is a 637-2 with combat grips, and 38 +P aboard in an old S&W leather holster in strong side OWB.

For hiking and/or field duty my wife prefers a Model 34 (4") in 22LR carried in a B.T. Crumb vintage cop holster on a wide belt, while I prefer a Model 64 (4") in a Bianchi closed toe holster.

Both have decent retention with over the hammer strap for field hiking.

Have been practicing with S&W Compact. 2.0 carried OWB in SafariLand kydex to replace the 637. 9mm, compact, choice of three grip sets for all type hands, very secure in the kydex, more rounds, easy to rack. Wife even enjoys it so recoil is very slight, but it is polymer vs steel so take a bit more to become proficient (I'm not there yet...can put em in center mass at the range but getting holster qualified under stress and takes more practice on my part)

The semi vs wheel is really different but again...may be a real decent choice for ladies. My wife would like to step up from the
32 wheel and seems to think the 2.0 Compact with the small factory grip inserts might just do the job. A very safe gun in the purse...same as the 32 is.

Good luck with your choice(s). Don't worry about the "wrong" gun you bought...put it up on the classified and you'll get close to what you got in it.

There are more choices for ladies today than 20 years ago...but not many for concealed carry options.
 

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My advice to you is to eschew the snubby revolvers for CCW in favor of either the S&W EZ .380 or EZ 9 as they are far easier to manipulate and shoot well.
 
BB57

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the effort you put in this response. Your explanation well written and understood by me. Here's a monkey wrench. Guys all wear pants, guys all wear belts, guys all have pockets. Women don't. In gun language I'm a j-frame. So my carry is likely in a shoulder strap handbag. So I got caught up in the "hammer catching on something' in my bag which was a big influence in the 642 decision.

Now that I've learned about different ammo, where do you find this ammo? Online? LGS? Gun show? I'll try the Hogue grips and ammo and see if that helps. At 21 yards I'm pretty accurate with the 686 in a shooting stance. But it's more than I can handle one handed unless I'm lucky enough just to waive it in the assailants face.

Thanks again for you response. Where in NC? Son lives in Mooresville.
 
My wife has a 442 in satin nickel. She's never complained, but it does hurt my hand. :)
I put the Houge tamer grips on it and they helped a little. We still like the compact size and light weight. It's definitely not a target practice gun. It's an up close, save your life gun. As long as we can place bullets in center torso area we're good. And during an actual self-defense usage you'll probably not notice the recoil due to the excitement and adrenaline.
 
Take a look at the Charter Arms lineup of small revolvers, my wife has a pink lady that I make up some light loads for that she doesn't mind shooting a lot of. I got a mag pug that is easy with 38's but does present a challenge with 357's. They do clean up easy, the anodized finishes seem to hold up very well and they are a bit less expensive to hand over after having to use it. My wife probably has well over a thousand rounds threw hers in the last several years, before Covid and a back injury we would go to the range twice a week with no issues.
 
Two options I see. Look into the 3" Pro Series J frame; less perceived recoil and a better sight radius. Carry the new non-lead ultra-light high velocity 55 or 60 grain loads which produce extremely reduced recoil. As far as the .22 option let me ask this. How many of you guys would really carry a .22 for street work? Ridiculous!
 
My sister bought a Glock 43 mini 9mm NATO, that's the regular 9mm, and she does fine with it. There is a Glock 42, in .380 ACP, and you might love it. Smith makes some pretty good polymer .380's, and you should handle a few.

Kahr makes a good 9 mm and .380, and S&W offers an EZ .380. The Smith has an easy to pull slide. And you should give it real consideration.

Springfield Armory makes the Model 911 in .380 ACP.

Me on the other hand, I am an old man, but I am a lummox too.
I bought an old tank of a gun, it's heavy and it's difficult to rack the slide. But it suits me.🤗

Take your time, and jot some notes to yourself, and rent some guns at your range. You will be much happier with the outcome .
 
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My wife is petite and is recoil shy. I bought a 43c just for cheap practice. We took it out the first time, and she told me she loved it she did not like my 442 . She was able to shoot a 2 inch group with it. So I found some I believe federal punch. I would rather her have 8 22's, that she can shoot. I bought he sig 238 hd and she did not like it. I know many will the 22 is to weak, but she can put 8 holes in a 2 inch group rapidly. She also was not a fan of 380 bodyguards
 
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Shooting fish, my daughter carrys a 642 in a belly band. She also changed grips. She's 5'2" 130lbs. Doesn't work with a dress. In that case she shifts to a carry purse or sling bag holster. The lady of the house here does the same, except she carrys a Shield Plus.
Belly band might work for you also.
 
Ya got to kiss some frogs before the prince arrives

My only recommendation is to try different types, brands, etc. The good news is the testing is part of the fun. After a while, you'll figure out what fits you. I wouldn't dare try to influence you to purchase something that fits me. GOOD LUCK!!
 
Nothing wrong with a 642. Try a set of 20.00 ergo grips [Dillon sells them] and hornady critical defense .38 ammo in the pink box. The grips look weird but they do work. I tried various boot grips, wood and rubber and then a set of these. They totally change the way the gun feels by changing the grip's angle and how your wrist is bent. These have stayed on my edc lightweight scandium revolver.

I used the Ergo grips on a 642. They were the most comfortable under recoil and most conducive to accuracy of any I tried. I'm a fossil, reverted to training and thought the grip angle would hinder weapon retention in a struggle, so I let them go. If that isn't part of your calculus, you might want to try them. You'd have no problems recouping some of the cost of the CT grips on this forum.
 
My mother(late 70's with pretty weak hands) has a 442. Low recoil standard pressure ammo allows for occasional adequate practice and makes the recoil manageable. They tried to sell on her a Glock 26 in her CC class, but she couldn't even rack the slide nor remember how to operate it and had no interest in learning, so she wouldn't be safe with it. Despite all the proposed running shootout scenarios with multiple gang members they presented in the class (which she found ridiculous), she's worried about common and realistic threats. She's not interested in becoming a "shooter", immersing herself in gun culture, or preparing for situations only a big city cop might be forced into, she just wants a practical means to protect herself.

An old article that's still absolutely relevant…

The real ladies from Massad Ayoob

For too long, women were told that if they wanted to carry a sidearm they needed a "ladies' gun," usually a tiny .22 or .25 automatic with so little power it might or might not stop a charging gerbil. Then the trend moved toward the small .38 Special revolver. The snubnose .38 became a classic "ladies' gun" for modem times.

Smith & Wesson's first "LadySmith" since the 19th century became a roaring success in the 20th century based on the Chief Special, 2-inch barrel, five-shot, .32-frame revolver. There would be other LadySmiths, including the neat little 3913 LS compact 9mm autopistol.

But Smith & Wesson has sold far more short barreled .38 Specials in conventional Chief Special, hammer shrouded Bodyguard, and "hammerless" Centennial configurations than anything of the other models to which they gave the feminine appellation. When Colt made a "ladies' model," they built it on the small D-frame revolver, with a 2-inch barrel, in caliber .38 Special.

Those of us who shoot a lot--competitors, firearms instructors, "serious students of the combat handgun"--can't help but notice that with the hottest loads, the small .38 has a nasty recoil and is hard to shoot accurately at significant distances. There are those who have said that because of these factors, the snubnose .38 is a bad choice for women.
I beg to disagree. And so do a huge number of that legion of the fairer sex who choose to go armed, and who seem to have taken the snubnose .38 as their collective handgun of choice.

Voting With Their Feet

"Shall issue" concealed carry legislation has swept the country. It is the strongest wave of victory in the gun owners' civil rights movement. It amazes the opponents of gun owners' rights how many of the people applying for concealed carry permits are women. And the instructors who train and certify those women for those concealed carry permits are telling us a huge number of those ladies are shooting their qualifications with the guns they, intend to carry: short barrel, small frame .38 Special revolvers.

The women of America know what they want. After a lifetime of getting ripped off by men in male oriented things like estimates on automobile repairs, they've learned to check things out on their own and not take a man's word for what women need.

They appreciate that they can shoot pistols like the Browning Hi-Power and the 1911 .45 and the Glock and the S&W 3913 better than most men realize. They also realize that they can carry a short, light revolver a helluva lot more easily within their daily wardrobe and dress code restrictions than they can even a compact alloy-frame .45 automatic.

Tactical Points

Gun dealers tell me the single most popular carry gun they're selling to women is the lightweight .38 Special, 2-inch revolver with snag-free configuration, such as the S&W Centennial Airweight. Yes, it kicks enough to hurt your hand. Yes, it will be one of the toughest guns for you to "qualify" with on the 15 to 25 yard line of a police-style shooting course.

However, the women who buy them for daily carry have no illusions about being involved in across-the-street shootouts. They're worried about the mugger who is within arm's length or maybe even closer when they have to defend their lives.

Women get tired of carrying big guns. The woman with whom I spent 30 years of marriage could count on her annual or biannual gift of what her husband thought was a cool self-defense pistol. She wound up with enough high speed, low drag, often highly customized semiautomatic pistols to outfit a small police department. The HK P7, a Behlert Mini-Custom S&W Model 39, a Trapper custom "bobcatted" Colt .45 auto--the list goes on.

It was always, "That's nice, dear." She'd carry it for a week to placate me, and then go back to one of her Colt .38 snubbies, either the engraved Detective Special or the lightweight Agent with hammer shroud and Barami Hip-Grip that fit neatly into the waistband of her beltless slacks.

No Surrender

Male criminals tend to be misogynists. The man who would surrender to him at gunpoint would die rather than go to prison with it known that he had surrendered to her. He is more likely by far to attack and attempt to disarm a woman. More than 20 years of teaching handgun disarming and retention has taught me the hardest gun to take away from its legitimate owner is a 2-inch barreled revolver.
With a shrouded hammer, this is also the only gun a woman can fire through a coat pocket without a hammer or a slide fouling in fabric and stopping her stream of fire.

Ideal for shooting all day at a training school? No. Ideal for concealed carry in real world circumstances? Yes.

The snubnose .38 revolver with snag-free hammer might just be the best choice for the defensive problems an armed woman in this society is most likely to face.
 
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/QUOTE]



Would you mind sharing the name of the holster? Hubby has a bday coming up.
This holster is no longer made but it is a Blackhawk size 06. Another member was nice enough to send it to me when I was looking for a holster. I will say this holster fits my 640-1 perfect but my 442 fits loose in it. My 442 is the same exact size as the 642. Good luck.
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Not familiar with the term "striker fire guns." I think revolvers are more reliable and one less thing to worry about.



I have the extended CT grips on the 642. I thought the longer grip would help, but so far hasn't. DIL as Ruger LCP, I just don't think that gun is for me. I wish I could try before I buy. I held a lot of guns, but no way to fire any of them. Most rental guns are Semi auto.



Will check those out.



I didn't consider different ammo, just bought what they have at the range., which is 38 spl Lead 158 GR SWC

The 4" 686 is kept on the nightstand.

I'm no longer convinced I need a tiny gun. When I talk to ppl I hear "my wife carries a so and so. " Most of those so and sos are j-frame, or Ruger LCP. So I took my cue from there.



My Grips are CT LG-305. $330 They are rubber and have the extended grip


Thanks for all of the help and knowledge sharing. Before I go spend another $800+ on a gun I'll try working my way up with some of these ideas. The optimum would be to try the gun first but not many ppl I know even care for revolvers, let alone own one. Thanks again!
A lady I worked with tried my Chiefs Special and wasn't fond of it . Then tried a Ruger SP101 in 38 spl and loved it. That has been her ccw for six years. That might be one for you to try. Not much bigger but enough heavier that she doesn't find it unpleasant to shoot.
 
OP

Just my opinion, you want to get away from a J Frame,

An all steel CZ RAMI, it'll handle any 9mm you feed it,
and you shouldn't feel any recoil issues.
 

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