I don't know how to do this
- Thread starter RonJ
- Start date
Register to hide this ad
gordon21
Member
Visit her asap. Ask her about her favorite 25 things she ever did or places she went. Then QUICKLY, with other family members help, put together a scrap book or bound professionally printed picture book ($50 at CVS-Walgreens)
There was a Susan Sarandon movie with this theme. They used some life size stand up pictures.
There was a Susan Sarandon movie with this theme. They used some life size stand up pictures.
Tell her you are sorry.
Tell her you love her.
Ask her if there is anything
you can take care of for her.
Tell her you love her.
Ask her if there is anything
you can take care of for her.
tacreload
Member
Ron my heart goes out to you.I'm sure once she speaks to you, you will know how to respond no matter how painful that might be.The fact that you are with her probably means more to her than any spoken words.I recently lost a dear aunt.Was at a loss as to what to say to her but the words came out tears and all and I'm glad I said them and hopefully she was glad to hear them.Prayers sent.
Last edited:
JayAychOh
Member
Ron - It's a completely different situation, but when my 18 year old daughter was killed in a car wreck the visits from people who only hugged me, cried with me, and didn't say a word meant as much as any of the others. Don't worry too much about what to say. Just be there for her and let the words take care of themselves. They'll come.
Prayers for you and your sister.
Prayers for you and your sister.
venomballistics
Member
I'll paraphrase my wifes most probable advice.
Get your sorry but down there, and stay there to the last breath.
The rest of the rant would not be forum compliant. She's a redhead.
in actual function, you might only be keeping watch as a relief to another part of the family. It's not just her your of service to. someone in the mix could use a few hours of sleep. Facilitate it.
Get your sorry but down there, and stay there to the last breath.
The rest of the rant would not be forum compliant. She's a redhead.
in actual function, you might only be keeping watch as a relief to another part of the family. It's not just her your of service to. someone in the mix could use a few hours of sleep. Facilitate it.
kenv1950
Member
You don't have to say a thing (JUST BE THERE) Lost three close friends in the past year and just being there says it all
wnwitzell
Member
Ron, just being there for her speaks volumes. Don't try to say anything pithy, just give her a heartfelt squeeze.
coltle6920
Member
Go quickly and visit while she is still able to communicate.Be strong for her and yourself.
Don't ask her what you can do for her.Tell her that you will take care of everything when she's gone.The less she has to worry about the stronger she will be to deal with the inevitable.
Reminisce about any good times growing up together.Remind her of what she meant to those around her and tell her that while she'll be missed she will never be forgotten.
If for no other reason just be there for comfort and support.
Don't ask her what you can do for her.Tell her that you will take care of everything when she's gone.The less she has to worry about the stronger she will be to deal with the inevitable.
Reminisce about any good times growing up together.Remind her of what she meant to those around her and tell her that while she'll be missed she will never be forgotten.
If for no other reason just be there for comfort and support.
labworm
US Veteran
Ron, very sad situation, so sorry for both of you.
Just show your Love for her.
Just show your Love for her.
I am sorry Ron. Go to her. She will know what to say. Allow me to pray for both of you. Again, I am so sorry.
In His name.
In His name.
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2012
- Messages
- 2,561
- Reaction score
- 4,820
One thing for sure...DON'T B/S her......If she asks a question give a honest answer..A person in that position knows when they're being B/S'ed.
Yes just being there. Most people don't want to go alone...but to go peacefully surrounded by love ones.
If you have to take time off, or spend a little extra time, so be it...you only have that one sister...Not that it sounds like you have more than one sister...I don't know. but you only have that one.
When it's over, cry your eyes out...Nothing wrong with letting your sorrow and hurt show that you loved and now miss her.
WuzzFuzz
Yes just being there. Most people don't want to go alone...but to go peacefully surrounded by love ones.
If you have to take time off, or spend a little extra time, so be it...you only have that one sister...Not that it sounds like you have more than one sister...I don't know. but you only have that one.
When it's over, cry your eyes out...Nothing wrong with letting your sorrow and hurt show that you loved and now miss her.
WuzzFuzz
the ringo kid
Member
- Joined
- May 12, 2013
- Messages
- 20,895
- Reaction score
- 22,823
Ron,I wish I had more words to add to what the Gents above already said but--my heart goes out to you and and your sister. Take care friend--TRK.
Be there while she knows you are there. Be there, even if you think she doesn't know, because she does.
Your presence is what is important.
I'll pray for you and your sister. May He grant you Strength, and let his Grace fall around you.
Your presence is what is important.
I'll pray for you and your sister. May He grant you Strength, and let his Grace fall around you.
GO see your sister NOW. be there with her and tell her you love her. you only have a short window of opportunity.....take full advantage of it...GO see your sister NOW... the rest will come when you get there....
Calaveras Slim
US Veteran
You and your entire family have our deepest sympathies. Losing a loved one is hard.
My wife died of a heart attack after being in a hospital for 3 weeks. She had her first one at 4AM. I was immediately called and her sister and I went into town to the hospital. We were in the waiting room and the people there found out about my wife and the folks hugged us and whispered words of sympathy and love which meant a lot and made it little easier.
Go to your sister and do the same and pray.
Being present with someone is the kindest gift of all. Don't think of what to do or what to say, just be there with her.
If you're a religious man, pray for guidance, clear your mind of preconceptions, plans or fear, and you'll be provided in what to do and say when you're with her.
If you're a secular man, look within for guidance, clear your mind of preconceptions, plans or fear and your best self will know what to do and say when you're with her.
Be you. Anything else will be obvious. Don't make her have to take care of your fear and uncertainty, rather than the other way around.
Treat her as the woman she is -- so much more in her mind and heart and body than just cancer. She probably doesn't get enough of that at this point, people remembering she's more than just illness.
Hold her hand. Cry with her. Tease her. Make her laugh. Bring her things she loves. Watch her favorite stupid comedy with her.
Most important, show her she isn't alone through any of this...
If you're a religious man, pray for guidance, clear your mind of preconceptions, plans or fear, and you'll be provided in what to do and say when you're with her.
If you're a secular man, look within for guidance, clear your mind of preconceptions, plans or fear and your best self will know what to do and say when you're with her.
Be you. Anything else will be obvious. Don't make her have to take care of your fear and uncertainty, rather than the other way around.
Treat her as the woman she is -- so much more in her mind and heart and body than just cancer. She probably doesn't get enough of that at this point, people remembering she's more than just illness.
Hold her hand. Cry with her. Tease her. Make her laugh. Bring her things she loves. Watch her favorite stupid comedy with her.
Most important, show her she isn't alone through any of this...
venomballistics
Member
if you can ... bring a kitten.
Ron, 2 years ago it was thought my brother was dying of brain cancer. I packed a bag and was out of my house on a 800 mile trip within a hour.
Words come later. Just go, asap.
Words come later. Just go, asap.
