So very sorry to hear of your loss. I traveled that path 25 years ago this past Christmas. Take comfort in the fact that he is in a much better place now and your good memories will be with you forever.
Sorry for your loss. The pain never really goes away, it just gets easier to handle. Try thinking of all the good times ya'll had & it will make it alot easier. God bless you & your family & friends.
You will find peace, eventually. It is the things I want to share with my Dad, and the things I know he missed out on, that I still find bothersome, >15 years later.