I Thought I Retired.

[Lee Barner]

Charlie, until you get an unlisted number that requires an overseas code they are going to keep calling. I don't recommend this cause I too like your updates on the "special people" in your community. lee

 

[4506517]

That's why no one I deal with on duty (even over the years) gets my cell phone number. I don't mind helping (matter of fact, that's why I got into law enforcement) but when I'm off duty (it's called that for a reason) I'm off duty. You can call communications, the front desk, the squad bay, etc. If I'm working I'll get right back to you. If not, I'll call you when I get back on duty. I have a life of my own, and when I'm off I handle my own issues.

Just my opinion, of course.

 

[perrazi]

always like reading your stories. you really should write a book or at least for some tv show. these are just to good to keep hidden. truth is usually stranger than fiction.

 

[Gunslinger808]

Badges, the ultimate drama magnet!

 

[Bill Bates]

I tried retiring, once; so, I feel your pain on a small level. When ever I'm at party or out with friends and family I get asked about real estate.

After about a year and half of being "retired" the wife told me I need to go back to work. Her complaint ran something like this...twice as much husband under foot and half as much income. So now it is four days at a brainless job that feeds my bad habits but keeps peace and harmony at home.

 

[old bear]

Charlie, I was going to suggest you get an unlisted phone number or at least caller I.D., but I don't think that would be your nature. Some people just have to be there to help out the weak and infirmed, and you apparently have taken that on for the better part of the county. I thank you for doing so and for sharing the great stories that make up a portion of your life.

 

[Sebago Son]

Sounds like you need that Maine Vacation you've been talking about for a couple of years.

The ice has broken up and the red carpet is rolled out....

No more excuses. Just don't forward your calls to my number!

 

[Old Corp]

One of the main reasons I moved to a rural county OUT of the jurisdiction of the city (and IT'S county) I worked in.
Even with that, still had people calling me and trying to get advice and 'rulings' on situations.
I used to think - "Isn't this what attorneys get ~$150/ hr. for doing?"

 

[billwill]

Lets face it, sometimes there is a reason to alter DNA

 

[GF]

"New career, reality show."

You'd be bigger than Duck Dynasty... wait... I've met you, you ARE bigger than Duck Dynasty.

GF

 

[Muley Gil]

You are a good man. Maria, should take the unfaithful Marine to court and get him to start paying child support. He apparently has enough money to be able to go out an "charm" all these women!!

Charlie's post stated that the double daddy was a soldier.

 

[GerSan69]

Charlie, people would pay to read your stories!
Thank you for letting us preview your upcoming best-seller!

 

[moosedog]

Time to change your number Charlie. When I retired I got a new phone and number. People will still be doing stupid things long after i'm gone.

 

[Old TexMex]

Mr. Sherrill, I have a nice garage apartment you're welcome to use down here. The fishings good and nobody knows you(probably).your secret is safe with us. C'mon down.

 

[nicky4968]

Mr. Sherrill, I remind you I can type and take dictation. I would be happy to receive your dictation on tape or disk and turn it into ASCII format. You can then submit it to professionals for editing and rewrite.

 

[Mule Packer]

Dang, Charlie, where the heck do you find these people?

I thought I was the only one who attracted "crazies." My wife tells me it's because I listen to them. My buddy tells me that the crazies go to me instead of him because he tells them to "go to......!"

I've been retired now for five years. I'm with you, though....life is still good. I've got a big vegetable garden, chickens, horses and mules...and a couple of good trout streams nearby. These things are what I call "therapy."

Keep us posted.

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

Mr. Sherrill, I remind you I can type and take dictation. I would be happy to receive your dictation on tape or disk and turn it into ASCII format. You can then submit it to professionals for editing and rewrite.

Not sure that there's anything that needed a rewrite. Or editing. It's a lot easier to screw something up than to improve it.

Charlie, who would have guessed that doing the Lord's work (which is, of course, what you've been doing) would be so interesting? At least to those of us who only have to read about it.

 

[handejector]

I think I got all that-

Robin kicked in Maria's back door and took the baby to get a tattoo.
Jimmy ran off to Afghanistan with DoubeDaddy and got pregnant.
Pretty sure Charlie had a beer.

Did I get it straight?

I feel for ya. I live in an area that has some very similar types.
I sometimes wonder if those little gray aliens run experiments around here.

 

[rog8732]

This is my first "Charlie" story. I can only comment that first, I thought it was a description of some folks taking a detour over to the Jerry Springer show, unable to find their way out..... On a second reading, I realize these are the originators of the "fun" portion of "dysFUNctional"!!

 

[Fishslayer]

Forget about the mower and buy a couple of
goats.

Chuck

Bad idea. The goats will cause more work than any busted mower. And the grass & weeds MAY disappear after they are done eating everything else they can get ahold of. IMO goats don't really like to eat grass & weeds.

...of course, if one LIKES finding goat "pellets" all over one's patio furniture...