I know I'm a bit biased, but we are about the same size. I know an N frame is much larger than the J's, K's & L's, but with size comes reduction in recoil and faster follow up shots.
An N frame .357 will never wear out, as it is larger and very strong. N frames are made in .44 Mag and .41 Mag, so they are made to handle powerful rounds. I've yet to see a N frame .357 wear out or get loose.
L frames were made for cops to shoot .357 exclusively, but the frame is not as strong as an N frames though. Recoil with an L frame is about the same, maybe a little more than an N frame. L frames also use a smaller grip than the N and is the same one used on K frames.
K frames were made for .38 Spl/.32-20. K's don't like what a 125 grain load will do to the topstrap, because of cylinder gap flame cutting. There were also stories dating from the 70's that shooting only .357 would cause the gun to "shoot loose". In other words, increasing the gaps and causing the gun to become less tight and thus, sloppy timing, and accelerating wear. K frames also react worse to recoil and follow up shots take longer when using magnums.
.357 J's are a definite handful to shoot. Awful recoil and magnum muzzle blast is awful and takes a
lot of shooting to get used to. In my mind J's are meant to be carried a lot and shot a little.
If you want to shoot a lot of .357 doing; hunting, plinking, bowling pins, personal protection. Get an N frame.
If you want to shoot occaisional .357 for hunting, plinking, bowling pins and personal protection. Get an L frame.
If you mostly want to shoot .38 Spl and occaisional .357, pick a K frame.
If you want to carry a .357 for personal protection and are willing to practice with mostly .38 Spl and a FEW .357 in practice and carry .357, get a J frame.