Jokes about your neighboring states.......

[policerevolvercollector]

Admin Edit
7-31-13
3:18 pm
If I have to delete any more, it goes away.
Your choice.

From the rules:
If you cannot use it politely in mixed company or around YOUNGSTERS, please don't use it here.
______________________________________




Remember this is all in FUN!

Do you have any jokes about the states that border yours?

I'll start:

Q:What do people in Georgia call a pretty girl from Alabama?

A: Unique!

Let's have your best ones.......

 

[Hillbilly77]

Q) Why are New Yorkers in such a bad mood all the time?

A) Because the light at the end of their tunnel is New Jersey.


Did you know that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Any place else would have called it a "teethbrush"!

 

[Shuutr]

Why doesn't Texas fall into the ocean?

Because Oklahoma sucks.

 

[Grayfox]

How do you get an Arkansaw cheer leader into your room?

Grease her hips and PUSH!

 

[doublesharp]

Why does Kentucky use artificial turf on their football field?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

 

[P&R Fan]

What's the difference between Illinois girls and the garbage?

The garbage gets taken out once a week.

Sorry......really.
Jim

 

[snubbyfan]

Maryland gun laws are a joke.

 

[A10]

Shuutr 2.0:

Know why there is always wind in Eastern Washington? Idaho sucks....

 

[shouldazagged]

First words a Hoosier kid learns:
"Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers..."

Ten people drowned in Indianapolis one night last October. It was a Halloween party, and they were bobbing for bricks. (I'm afraid that's an original.)

Hear about the Hoosier who put Odor-Eaters in his shoes? He took three steps and vanished.

Hey, Hoosiers tell them as Kentucky jokes!

 

[Double-O-Dave]

True story, but I think it qualifies:

Feb. 14, 1975 EOD (Entered On Duty) in the U.S. Army. Standing in our first formation as the Drill Sergeants were walking slowly in front of us, he stopped in front of me and asked: "Where are you from, boy?" "TEXAS, Drill Sergeant". He slowly looked me up and down with an incredulous look - it didn't take long as I'm 5'5" tall. "Texas?" said the Drill Sergeant. "Well, what if I just call you Tex? Huh? What do you think of that, boy? Yeah, Tex, cause you ain't big enough to call Texas - huh, boy?" It took me a second or two to realize this wasn't a rhetorical question, and the Drill Sergeant confirmed this a moment later by stating: "Well, boy...I asked you a question." My response: "Well, that's fine with me Drill Sergeant. Tex would be just fine", to which he responded: "Gutless, huh, boy?" My response: "No, Drill Sergeant, just glad I'm not from Louisiana". This lead to the first of many, of very many push-ups for having "the smart mouth".

Regards,

Dave

 

[Fishslayer]

How do you get to Texas from Kansas?
Head south till ya smell cow poop. That's Oklahoma. Keep going till ya step in it. That's Texas.

How do ya make a "lady of WalMart" into a beauty queen?
Fly her to Alaska.


Sorry. I'm from California. Most of the jokes I know are about US.

 

[Wingmaster]

Their is a battle along the North Dakota and South Dakota border each spring. The North Dakotans throw dynamite across the border at the South Dakotans.

The South Dakotans light it and throw it back.

(This also works the other way around)

Wingmaster

 

[PeterK]

What's the best view of Iowa?

In the rear view mirror! Actually, that works for most of my surrounding states

Peter

 

[bluegrassarms]

Why doesn't Texas fall into the ocean?

Because Oklahoma sucks.

Our version is:

Why does Kentucky not slide around the US? B/c Indiana sucks and Tennessee blows.

What do you call a shoe store in Tennessee? A mirage.

 

[jack the toad]

It's windy in Okla because Texas sucks and Kansas blows.

 

[Hillbilly77]

I'm from California. Most of the jokes I know are about US.

Them ain't jokes! Them's true stories!




I know, I know! I'm not much better off here in New York.
I call New York "California's ugly little sister".

 

[.45goblue]

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Ohio State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

 

[cussedemgun]

Nearest neighbor is Canada, so I'll pick on them

When there were finally enough people settling in their territory to need a government, the pioneers had a meeting to try to pick a name for their new country.

Several suggestions were voted on & rejected 'till it was decided they would put all the letters of the alphabet in a hat, draw one letter at a time. When they spelled something, they would take that as their new country name.

The man drawing the letters called out "it's a C 'a', it's a N 'a', it's an D 'a', & so that's how they became Canada.

 

[Double-O-Dave]

This just in...a Category 5 hurricane struck Arkansas today resulting in $10 million dollars in improvements. Film at 11:00.


Regards,

Dave

 

[Old TexMex]

Back in the "pipeline" days, Alaskans defined happiness as "a Cajun walking south with a Texan under each arm."