Just got a call

[Golddollar]

Don't be afraid to avail yourself of any assistance the funeral home may extend to you. What happened to me showed how the funeral home can be a big help in coping with issues that can crop up surrounding a death in a family.

This occurred in connection with the recent death of my uncle who lived near me and I was very close to in life. During the first viewing for him i could feel myself starting to have a sugar crash, which is a potential problem for me as a diabetic. I suspect it was brought on by the situation and having my eating schedule disrupted by the travel to where the funeral was to take place. I saw a bowl of individual Life Savers on a cabinet and grabbed a couple. The funeral director asked me what was happening and I told him I thought I was having a sugar crash. Without missing a beat, the greeter went back somewhere and brought me a package of peanut butter crackers. I ate them and pretty soon I was feeling better. Why would they have had that package of peanut butter crackers around unless they faced a similar situation in the past? The folks in the funeral parlor are there to help. Best wishes to you.

 

[LoboGunLeather]

Grew up with two older brothers. Watched both of them go into the ground. We often fought like mortal enemies, but I loved them both and my life is diminished by the losses, but it is all a part of this life that we must deal with. No instruction manual, no guarantees, no warranty.

You are performing a duty to your brother and your family. There is no alternative. You must do the right thing.

Next, go forward in your life with the peace that comes only with a clear conscience.

 

[NYlakesider]

OP your doing a great thing, even though its hard.

My father was a undertaker and I saw a lot about understanding human nature growing up!-

 

[Krogen]

Lhipster: I can't think of much to add that hasn't already been said. You're facing a tough, difficult time made worse by estrangement. Just know that within you you'll find the path through this. We are stronger than we think.

 

[16thVACav]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[lihpster]

Thank you for all the support. It is appreciated and it helps me feel not so alone.

My brother has been estranged from the family since my other brother passed in 2013. He pulled back even farther after my mother passed in 2017. Of course, those were the 2 family members he had a good relationship with. Me and my father always bumped heads with Bob.

Bob never was totally right in the head. He blamed my father for anything bad that happened to him. He resented me because he thought I was the favorite and got everything he didn't. Not true, but that's what he believed.

Bob claimed he couldn't work as the mental and emotional toll was "too much." He hadn't worked for a couple of years before Doug died. My parents paid his rent, gave him money for bills and food and offered him the moon. You want to go to school? We'll pay for it. Yet still somehow, we were screwing him over.

After my mom passed, my dad and I kept up with paying his bills. But, 3 years later, We hadn't seen him or heard from him in all that time. Except for the letters that came every month with a dollar amount of what he needed. My father decided that enough was enough. A decade of financial support for a man that refused to acknowledge us except to get money. We were a wallet to him.

So, we decided on hard love. Obviously, giving him money was not helping him. I had argued that from the start, but he wasn't my baby boy. Dad said no more. So, we cut him off financially. After that I never heard from him again.

I learned some things from the funeral director. Apparently, he had been living in his truck in an RV park. He had stage 4 cancer and died in surgery. And during it all, he never reached out. He apparently told the hospital he didn't have any family. The funeral home had to ask the State for help to find me.

I loved my brother, but I didn't like him very much. But, he's family. My family. I arranged for him to be cremated, so his ashes can be spread with the other memebers of the family who have gone on. We will ALL stay together, even in death. After my father passes, I will gather up everyone and scatter them at the same time in the same place. Even Sophie the dog's ashes will be among us. When I go, I'll ask someone to spread me there. I hope they do it.

Thanks again for the support. It means a lot. And I wanted to let you know that I will take care of my brother, even if I didn't like him very much. Because I love him.

 

[Krogen]

You are an honorable man, lihpster. Doing the right thing when it is hard is a hallmark of integrity and character. My best to you.

 

[pharmer]

.......I loved my brother, but I didn't like him very much. But, he's family. My family.......

I know that feeling intimately. My large Italian family had it's share of "saints and scoundrels." Stories to fill a book, some terrible. I'd complain to them but I'm the absolute last man standing. Sounds like you are getting there too. Keep the Faith. Joe

 

[Kenna]

BLOOD IS BLOOD! No matter how much it sucks.