It's not just your false statement that TSA was the agency involved that makes your story false.
* The contractors who provided airport security screening before TSA was created were not armed, as you alleged. They screened passengers and property, but were not LEOs. Every airport has a law enforcement agency assigned to it, and they are armed (but don't screen passengers).
* Cross-sex screening, which you alleged happened, isn't done in the USA. (It does happen in some other countries. I have had female airport screeners pat down non-sensitive parts of my body, which would never happen here.)
* Your claimed defiance of the security screener, even back then, would have gotten you arrested. There is no way you would have dared her to shoot you in the back, walked away from the checkpoint, and gone to the gate. This sounds like one of those things some guy at the end of the bar late at night would say...so obviously false I'm surprised you actually posted it.
* Finally, pre-9/11 a lot of things were permitted to be carried on an airliner that are banned now...pocket knives, for instance. But I'm fairly certain that even then, hatchets were prohibited...and there is no way that any x-ray operator could possibly miss a hatchet.
While it's possible for the passage of time to dim memories now and then (don't ask me how I know this) every major element of the tale you wove is incredible...it defies historical fact and common sense.
Your story is false.