Why this comes to mind right now? I don't know. I was gifted a set of Christmas specials. You know Rudolph and Frosty. Now the 3rd one made me spew a mouthful of coffee all over the living room.
Ahhh, the classic animated feature....
The Cricket on the Hearth.
Now growing up back when there were only 3 channels, Rudolph was a big deal. That was the "TV Special" of the year.
Rudolph is coming on!!!!
Now....
I realize why my dad went to bed.
It just does not have that same zing now.
Then there's Frosty and I'll get to that one last...
There was this cricket thing I had never seen so...we put it on.
So....Danny Thomas introduces this jewel, The Cricket on the Hearth in front of a crackling fire.
He goes on to say how this story brings warmth and joy to his family....
OK, roll it.
Boy, was I shocked.
It was bad. I mean bad bad. The thing is, it just kept getting worser and worser.
Robert Shaw in Jaws scratching his nails across the chalk board saying, "The head, the tail...the whole thing." Is a much more enjoyable musical experience than the numbers about this stinking cricket.
This cricket is supposed to bring good luck, but everyone who comes in contact with that joker has some kind tragic life altering event.
He goes around spreading joy...The little hero girl goes blind. Her true love gets lost at sea. The toymaker Dad goes into poverty. A creepy miser with no teeth wants to employ the toymaker dad for a price...the daughter.
These people do not need the good luck cricket.
They need Raid!!!
Out of nowhere comes an evil pirate. Apparently, he's working with the miser to kidnap the cricket. The pirate hires the miser's crow and a dog to do the kidnapping.
Why kidnap the cricket? I don't know. It seems the cricket was doing pretty good spreading misery. I guess they wanted cancer.
This crow and dog want their payment for the kidnapping.
The Pirate says...
"I got your payment right here!"
He then pulls a revolver out of his desk and the scene goes to outside the ship....
Through window are two muzzle flashes and the sounds of two gunshots. Some feathers even came out of the window.
This is when I spewed coffee everywhere.
The pirate just wasted these cartoon characters in a family Christmas special!!!
Did, did... did, that guy just blow the crow and dog away?!!!
It's unwatchable.
It even gets more tasteless...
We had, had enough.
Cricket on the Hearth, it's not for kids unless you want include therapy...
OK Frosty...
Now the kids did steal the magician's hat so...There's that.
The magician tries to murder the little girl by letting her freeze to death. Frosty saves the girl by taking her to a green house. The evil magician locks the girl and Frosty in the green house.
Who knows what would have happened if Santa had not showed up?
The girl is saved. Then we see Frosty, now a puddle on the floor. The magician has murdered Frosty!
But...The Christmas Eve wind revives Frosty.
Then the magician and that stupid goofy rabbit show up.
What does Santa do?
Does he kick his backside?
Does turn him over to the authorities; you know, the cop who swallowed his whistle, for attempted murder, child abuse and endangerment.
No... he takes him off the nice list.
I mean the guy needed to go to the penitentiary and he just gets taken off the nice list???
Frosty...there may be a small therapy issue here.
Nothing is as bad as that cricket thing though....
Christmas is coming soon, sooner than you think.
Ahhh, the classic animated feature....
The Cricket on the Hearth.
Now growing up back when there were only 3 channels, Rudolph was a big deal. That was the "TV Special" of the year.
Rudolph is coming on!!!!
Now....
I realize why my dad went to bed.
It just does not have that same zing now.
Then there's Frosty and I'll get to that one last...
There was this cricket thing I had never seen so...we put it on.
So....Danny Thomas introduces this jewel, The Cricket on the Hearth in front of a crackling fire.
He goes on to say how this story brings warmth and joy to his family....
OK, roll it.
Boy, was I shocked.
It was bad. I mean bad bad. The thing is, it just kept getting worser and worser.
Robert Shaw in Jaws scratching his nails across the chalk board saying, "The head, the tail...the whole thing." Is a much more enjoyable musical experience than the numbers about this stinking cricket.
This cricket is supposed to bring good luck, but everyone who comes in contact with that joker has some kind tragic life altering event.
He goes around spreading joy...The little hero girl goes blind. Her true love gets lost at sea. The toymaker Dad goes into poverty. A creepy miser with no teeth wants to employ the toymaker dad for a price...the daughter.
These people do not need the good luck cricket.
They need Raid!!!
Out of nowhere comes an evil pirate. Apparently, he's working with the miser to kidnap the cricket. The pirate hires the miser's crow and a dog to do the kidnapping.
Why kidnap the cricket? I don't know. It seems the cricket was doing pretty good spreading misery. I guess they wanted cancer.
This crow and dog want their payment for the kidnapping.
The Pirate says...
"I got your payment right here!"
He then pulls a revolver out of his desk and the scene goes to outside the ship....
Through window are two muzzle flashes and the sounds of two gunshots. Some feathers even came out of the window.
This is when I spewed coffee everywhere.
The pirate just wasted these cartoon characters in a family Christmas special!!!
Did, did... did, that guy just blow the crow and dog away?!!!
It's unwatchable.
It even gets more tasteless...
We had, had enough.
Cricket on the Hearth, it's not for kids unless you want include therapy...
OK Frosty...
Now the kids did steal the magician's hat so...There's that.
The magician tries to murder the little girl by letting her freeze to death. Frosty saves the girl by taking her to a green house. The evil magician locks the girl and Frosty in the green house.
Who knows what would have happened if Santa had not showed up?
The girl is saved. Then we see Frosty, now a puddle on the floor. The magician has murdered Frosty!
But...The Christmas Eve wind revives Frosty.
Then the magician and that stupid goofy rabbit show up.
What does Santa do?
Does he kick his backside?
Does turn him over to the authorities; you know, the cop who swallowed his whistle, for attempted murder, child abuse and endangerment.
No... he takes him off the nice list.
I mean the guy needed to go to the penitentiary and he just gets taken off the nice list???
Frosty...there may be a small therapy issue here.
Nothing is as bad as that cricket thing though....
Christmas is coming soon, sooner than you think.
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