Old people: a little story and some thoughts.

[WuzzFuzz]

I'm going to continue on a little bit, here on Walkin' Jacks thread.

Is it me, or have there been a few more posts about our life in these latter years?

I posted one a while back about what to do with some guns I have. Jack here has posted in another thread about some of the failings we face as we grow older...There's another thread going about life after 60.

Perhaps this weather, most everyone is having/had this winter is a foreboding message to us. Our lives have now entered into the winter of our years. Some of our years have been deep with snow and cold. (sorrow) Some with days of warmth and sunshine.

Of course as songs go in relation to our lives, the spring time of our youth. When the spring breezes were blowing. The puffy clouds moving overhead, making those heads of various characters for us. The grass was green, full of bugs and other creatures we would explore and learn about. The carefree days of just playing as a child. Pretending to be, or imagining where, and if.

The summer years, of toil and family. Some of us, just trying to get by. Others who listened to what was taught to them in their youth of stories such as the Ant and the Grasshopper

We sowed our seed. We nurtured our crops. We sat up at night to nurse our sick or injured ones. We did good. Our crops were raised and it turned out to be a bumper crop, for most of us. It's a little like seed corn. Some of the genetics get passed down. Some of the corn will get cross bred to produce a even better crop in the future. The same for our children.

Moving rapidly forward to the Autumn we can now sit on the porch more and watch the sunsets. We look out across our yard now. We see that yard we once saw in our youth. Now we look at it differently, and do not want to see it trampled. Those flowers beside the house are now the last rose of the year. We remember when they were planted, and who looked over them. They meant so much to her. The fields of toil have been turned over to those younger. So it is time to sit on the porch and reflect back of times and events of days gone by.

Now in these cold winter days of our lives we have come to realize our mortality is rapidly approaching. We see it much as we saw a spring or summer storm. The clouds are darkening. The winds have shifted. We can feel it in our bones, there is a rain approaching. We know from experience, it is a coming. So we try to prepare for it now. Rather than just ignoring the coming storm, we make preparations. We get ready to go to the storm cellar.


So with these analogies, many of us are preparing to go to the storm cellar. Exactly when the storm will reach us, we don't know. It might be later today, this week, next, or a month from now. But to be sure, one day the storm will come.

But reflecting back on those spring days, the summers of past. The warm days of Indian summers we enjoy remembering as we now sit by the fireplace and listen to the crackle of the fire, slowly ebbing as the day grows shorter.

It was a good life. Maybe, the ole Good Lord will tell me, "You were a honorable man, you can come home now to your family, friends, "Skippy", "Blackie", and "Boots". They're there waiting for you. Come and be a child again.



WuzzFuzz

 

[vito]

Nice thread, and a reminder about how many of us who visit here regularly are in the older category. Before I retired earlier this year I had been working (for the last 23 years) in the nursing home field. And while I had the great fortune to get to know many, many older and wonderful folks, I also had the reality of aging staring me in the eye every day. Nowadays with home health care, assisted living and other services available the nursing home becomes the place for those who have reached a level of needing round-the-clock care. Most were there due to Alzheimer's or related dementia disorders, the rest for chronic and advanced conditions that made it impossible to stay in their homes.

What I tried to get out of these experiences is that life, especially quality life, is precious and short, and putting off until tomorrow the things one has always wanted to do may mean that you never, ever get to do them. But like all of life's lessons, we need to keep relearning them. Just like the rest of us, I spend most of my time on just the day to day stuff of life, not necessarily the stuff I dreamed of. The house needs to be cared for, errands have to be run, and money has to be watched so that you don't end up living your last years with nothing.

At 70 I don't know how much longer I have to live a full and independent life, but then again I didn't know that when I was 20 as well. So when this winter ends I plan on buying that "dream" motorcycle I have thought about for years but hadn't done because my current ride was good enough. I plan on trying to take those long motorcycle trips I dreamed of for years, and not wait until "the time seems right", which might never come.

I hope I have learned as well from my own mother, who always was so busy with her life and her activities that she hardly had the time to ever visit or spend time with her grown children and grandchildren. So now at 99, and living in a nursing home, she laments that none of her grandchildren ever visit or even call her, and of course she doesn't even know and hasn't met many of her 19 great grandchildren. She was so busy living her own life that she isolated herself from those who might have cared the most for her, if only they really knew her. All of her siblings are gone, as are all of her old friends. Now she gets visits from her three children and that's about all that is left of her life. So as much as I want to live "footloose and fancy free" I take the time to spend with my grandchildren (which is about the best time one can spend doing anything!) and my grown kids, and I treasure the time with my wife of almost 48 years. And maybe since my Mom has made it to almost the century mark and is till going strong (at least physically), I can end having it all for another 20 to 30 years!

And now its time to stop typing and go to the range and explode some gunpowder!

 

[sureshotbob]

I've worked installing fire protection in several convalescent homes over the years. And have gotten to know some of the patients and staff. At one place one day they were doing a bake sale I saw a old lady that wanted some kind of pastry but didn't have the money. I went up to the ladies running the sale and asked how much for EVERYTHING . I told them to give the people anything they wanted. You would not beleave the buzz that started they even interviewed me and took my picture and put it in there little news paper. I got more hug's and kisses that day{even from some of the cute staff} and it made my week. I could tell you several funny stories but don't want to steal this thread.

 

[walkin jack]

I'm going to continue on a little bit, here on Walkin' Jacks thread.

Is it me, or have there been a few more posts about our life in these latter years?

I posted one a while back about what to do with some guns I have. Jack here has posted in another thread about some of the failings we face as we grow older...There's another thread going about life after 60.

Perhaps this weather, most everyone is having/had this winter is a foreboding message to us. Our lives have now entered into the winter of our years. Some of our years have been deep with snow and cold. (sorrow) Some with days of warmth and sunshine.

Of course as songs go in relation to our lives, the spring time of our youth. When the spring breezes were blowing. The puffy clouds moving overhead, making those heads of various characters for us. The grass was green, full of bugs and other creatures we would explore and learn about. The carefree days of just playing as a child. Pretending to be, or imagining where, and if.

The summer years, of toil and family. Some of us, just trying to get by. Others who listened to what was taught to them in their youth of stories such as the Ant and the Grasshopper

We sowed our seed. We nurtured our crops. We sat up at night to nurse our sick or injured ones. We did good. Our crops were raised and it turned out to be a bumper crop, for most of us. It's a little like seed corn. Some of the genetics get passed down. Some of the corn will get cross bred to produce a even better crop in the future. The same for our children.

Moving rapidly forward to the Autumn we can now sit on the porch more and watch the sunsets. We look out across our yard now. We see that yard we once saw in our youth. Now we look at it differently, and do not want to see it trampled. Those flowers beside the house are now the last rose of the year. We remember when they were planted, and who looked over them. They meant so much to her. The fields of toil have been turned over to those younger. So it is time to sit on the porch and reflect back of times and events of days gone by.

Now in these cold winter days of our lives we have come to realize our mortality is rapidly approaching. We see it much as we saw a spring or summer storm. The clouds are darkening. The winds have shifted. We can feel it in our bones, there is a rain approaching. We know from experience, it is a coming. So we try to prepare for it now. Rather than just ignoring the coming storm, we make preparations. We get ready to go to the storm cellar.


So with these analogies, many of us are preparing to go to the storm cellar. Exactly when the storm will reach us, we don't know. It might be later today, this week, next, or a month from now. But to be sure, one day the storm will come.

But reflecting back on those spring days, the summers of past. The warm days of Indian summers we enjoy remembering as we now sit by the fireplace and listen to the crackle of the fire, slowly ebbing as the day grows shorter.

It was a good life. Maybe, the ole Good Lord will tell me, "You were a honorable man, you can come home now to your family, friends, "Skippy", "Blackie", and "Boots". They're there waiting for you. Come and be a child again.



WuzzFuzz

Wuzz Fuzz, you really got to me with that one! That was beautifully written and at the same time it hit that proverbial nail right on it's shiny little head.

One more thing that I have observed is that the end comes to us all and that some have a better more peaceful end than others. Some suffer a loss of dignity that I find appalling. And mostly we never know how it will go for us when it's our turn.

But as we age and accumulate more and more unpleasantness, sorrow and pain we also gain the forbearance, acceptance and grace to adjust and cope. We have had a lifetime to understand life's cycle and the fact that life is not always fair and pain and misery do not discriminate. Bad things can happen to good people.

Hard cold truth but there it is. I now understand why old people spend so much time thinking about and talking about the past. When you have more good days behind you than ahead I guess it is a natural tendency. I try not do do too much of that but I slip once in a while. Just can't help it.

I think the key to aging gracefully is that forbearance and grace I mentioned earlier. My FIL just truned 92 and he is scared to death. It's all he can talk about. We have tried to get him to lighten up and try to keep a more positive outlook. But he just can't.

My dad was my role model. As he aged and lost hie eyesight and hearing and had to give up one thing after another that robbed him of his independence and lifestyle he was awesome.

He used to sing in the Baylor University Senior Choir. They would go around to nursing homes and chruches and put on musical programs. I had the pleasure of hearing some of them. But his eyesight got so bad (macular degeneration) that he could no longer read music or much of anything else. He had to let it go.

Then he had to quit driving. Then he had to give up crossword puzzles and that was a biggie. And at each loss I would ask him how he could remain so positive and up beat. Hee always had a smile and a funny story for you. He'd just smile and say that he wasn't going to fret about it but just go on and do the best he could with what he had left. He has always been my hero. But the way he took care of Mama and the way he met his end are about as awesome as anything I ever saw or heard of. I constantly struggle to be half the man he was.

 

[WuzzFuzz]

Another day....


Here it is another day. The snow is covering everything outside. It's bitterly cold. But enough of this cabin fever. I got in the truck and drove over to the airport, to get the snow away from the hangar door...No I'm not going to go flying today. But I wanted to get the fluffy snow away from the door, so when it does warm up, and refreeze at night, it won't freeze the door closed.

But on my way over, I was looking out at some of the cattle in the fields. It's calving season around here. There was one young calf, maybe three or four days old, scampering along. I saw another one laying on the ground.

I thought once of stopping, climbing over the fence to check on it. In this bitter cold, it's easy for a new born to freeze to death in this weather. But I didn't...I didn't see the mother cow hovering over it, so I took it, that it wasn't dead. But it did get me to thinking about why we take such a interest in our children, or especially our grand kids, or even great grand kids...

I think it's because we see ourselves there. A part of us is going to continue on. We won't just completely disappear from this earth. It's conforming to know this. We will have left some little mark that we were here. A part of us will live on.

And not to say, that those who may not have any youngsters to carry on, one can still see that life does go on without us. We see new life. And that's Ok.

I like driving by myself, it gives me time to think, besides sitting on the porch and thinking...And not always morbid thoughts.

But because it is cold and snow covered out, I'll leave you with this Robert Frost poem.



Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


That was a poem we had to memorize in a English class I had in high school.....I've never forgotten it...Although I did have to look it up, to be sure I had it copied correctly.


WuzzFuzz

 

[walkin jack]

Good one! Frost is one of my favorite poets. Those like TS Elliot are a little to snooty and stuffy for me. He once commented that he didn't write for the common man. He wanted to appeal to the elite in his society and thought the common man was beneath his concern.

 

[wbraswell]

Well, I can relate. I cared for my parents the best I could. I was an only child. Luckily, for them, I was single with no family of my own, so in 1994 I moved about 3 blocks from them. Dad passed in 1998, and I basically moved in with Mom to care for her in 2006, when she was 93. She left in 2011. I have no regrets about their later years, just the earlier ones. I had my Dad for 45 years and Mom for 58. I was blessed, and it was hard for me to grieve, because I felt so lucky to have them that long, and when they went, there was really no hope for quality of life left. I don't think the Sinatra song is the right one. Someone cue "The Cat's in the Cradle".

 

[Pilgrim]

Both my parents are in their 89th year and still are living at home, together, a couple of miles from my brother and I.

My Dad is 90% blind and 95% deaf. He's had cancer and a couple of strokes but he made it thru it all. He's had to give up everything he ever did, and he was a very active person until a couple of years ago. He needs help with about everything. He's a DDay vet and suffered a lot with his wounds and emotions for many years.

He could not live there if my mother wasn't there.

My mother is in good shape despite having a cancerous lung removed just after her 88th birthday. She still cooks and takes care of the house.

They've been married 68 1/2 years.

My brother and I were concerned about them falling on the stairs so we remodeled the downstairs to include a bedroom and adjoining bath. We closed off the upstairs to eliminate that danger.

Between us, we're at their house daily, checking and doing/fixing things, taking them places, etc. I retired a year ago, and the timing was right as I would have had to quit to do the things I need to do for them.

Life isn't easy when you get that age, but they've accepted their limitations with an understanding that I find amazing. They've given away, to family, most of the things that have been meaningful in their lives.

Fortunately we have a large family, with them having 10 great grand-kids, so they do get a lot of company.

The thing that bothers them the most about being old is their lack of 'friends'. They say everyone that they called friends and did things with, are all gone.

It's really sad to see two such vibrant, lively people declining as they are.

I spend so much time with them and they share their thoughts with me so much that I've gotten a real good look at getting old. At 67, I can see myself like them, very shortly, and wonder how I'll handle it.

I can only hope I can do it with half the grace, understanding and patience that they have.

 

[vito]

Many years ago while at a motorcycle rally in southeastern Ohio I ran into an older rider who had come from San Diego and was enroute to Boston on a 30 year old bike. He was 85 and still riding cross country solo, and when asked why he would attempt an almost 7,000 mile round trip at his age he replied that if he waited any longer he might be too old! He also said that riding gave him hope that possibly one day he would miss seeing that stop sign and be t-boned by an 18 wheeler; leaving this earth so fast he would never know what hit him.

Not only was he living an active life far beyond what most of us are able to achieve, but if he got his final wish he would leave us while still in full mind and body. I hope he made it.

That rally was 23 years ago, when I was a young 47. He became my role model that day, and I don't even recall his name.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

What was it President G. W. Bush said when he visited one of the U.S. cemeteries in Europe-"They didn't live to comb gray hair." Visit The Wall in D.C.-the average age of those listed there was 21.
Not a big believer in ageism or being too fixed on one age cohort or generation or whatever. Makes me think of the character in the original Twilight Zone story "The 16 Millimeter Shrine"-an actress whose career has faded and who spends her days watching her old movies. I always recall something my mother said years ago. We went to a book signing by Jean Shepherd, she said his fans were "8 to 80", his appeal crossed generations.
Several friends who have moved to retirement communities have referred to them as "old age ghettoes", "wrinkle city", one said a lot of his erstwhile neighbors weren't that pleasant-"old children and overage brats" is how he put it.
How does that adage go ? "No man is completely useless-he can always serve as a bad example."
And an adage that I have adopted:
"What you are when you grow old is merely a continuation of what you were all along."

 

[POPPER]

Tell you what gang. At 75 yr old next month I have to say as I think I've stated this before but I'm old now ( still look awsome though Ha!) and I repeat myself but this I think bears repeating if I may. I'm still blessed to be working as a security supervisor to keep me occupied 40 hrs a week. However one of the things I look forward to when i get home each day is to pour myself about a half cup of Tennessee sourmash and get on this forum with Ya'All'. With all the crasy stuff that we're subjected to each day this forum is a breath of fresh air for me anyway. Age seems to have little or nothing to do with it. As I see it we all for the most part have a comman bond and are pretty like minded regardless of age. This site meets the whole spectrum for me. You can ask perhaps a dumb question to some or you can get consoled at the loss of a loved one and at the same time get teased and messed with on the lighter side. How great is this huh? I wouldn't take anything for my totally disfunctional gun nut friends on this forum. And lastly I wish I would have listened more carefully to the seniors I meant over the years. I remember one elderly old cowboy I used to see in the cafe where I used to live in Texas and remember thinking to myself back then boy I hope I never get as blunt and ornery as he was. Today I realize I have taken his place. I'm now the old buzzard. Popper