Manly shoppin'....mancard not compromised.

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I have been married to two different women. The first one for 6 years and the current one for 41 years, and counting, come August. I had to teach them both how to cook and how to drive a car.....but I didn't have to teach neither one of 'em how to SHOP.

A way back in the misty past when guys used to go shoppin' with their wives (I've always wondered how a thing like that ever got started) I was one of those poor shmucks sittin' outside the ladies fitting room holding a purse. I was always humiliated beyond measure but tolerated it as best I could because I was never the only guy there doin' that. Sometimes there would be 3 or more of us and we could not bear to make eye contact. Just stared at the floor and prayed for a quick end to the ordeal.

The only reason I can come up with as to just WHY we any of us did this is in the interest of "togetherness" to impress the wife. But to be quite honest it has all been so many years ago that I don't remember. But just now it's about the only thing I can think of that makes sense so I'll call it that and say no more on the subject.

There is a huge difference in the way men and women shop:
. Women go into a store mostly not knowing just what it is they want. Oh they may be thinking, dress, necklace, purse, shoes, etc but they don't have any specific idea of what features they are looking for. They need to handle every piece of jewlry, try on every pair of shoes and dress or slacks in the store. Also women are convinced that they change sizes every time they buy a new garment so they have to try on several different sizes every time. Then after they have done that they have to go back to some of the ones they looked at an hour earlier and refresh their memory, even try on a pair of shoes again that they had ALREADY tried on once. Then a lot of times they want to ague with the store clerk about the price or a size or selection. Sometimes, but not often enough, they will be unable to make a decision and not buy anything.

I came to the conclusion at some point that the real "juice" the "rush" didn't come from getting the new item (s). Perversely, it apparently comes from spending the money. I mean the actual process of signing the charge slip or handing over the cash. They get a look in their eye that gives it away. Once I realized this I turned my head at that point in the process....I just couldn't stand to see a look that scary on my wife's face.

At one point my current wife and I came to the realization that this was no longer a good deal for either one of us, if it ever had been. It was demeaning and emasculating to me and it was irritating and distracting to her to have to watch me endure it all. She finally suggested that I not go with her any more. I asked why and she asked me if I really enjoyed it. Maybe a little too quickly I said that I most certainly did not. She confessed that I was draggin' her down and we agreed to end the suffering for both of us. I tried to turn my head and leave the room before she could see the wicked grin on my mouth and the tears of joy running down my face. Not sure if I made it but we never spoke of it again.

. MEN realize they need a new hammer or pair of work gloves or what ever and go to the store. They know what they want before they leave the house. They go in and look around for the item in question for a minute if the store has what they want they buy it and leave if not then they just leave. I wore the same size clothes from the age of 20 tot the age of 35 and from then to the age of 50 and I'm still there at the age of 68. Men don't change sizes with every new shirt. Either way it's in and out in a matter of a few minutes. And I also believe that unlike women men hate the part where you pay the money. For men the juice is getting the new hammer or pair of work boots.

All this is just my opinion based upon 47 years of combined marriage. Some of it may just be my imagination but I just have a feeling that I'm not the only man that has had some of these experiences.

Anyway I was just thinkin' about all this because I hit what I'll call a man's shopping "tir-fecta" I've never been much of a shopper, except for grocery shopping. I do most of the cooking so I do a lot of the grocery shopping but I don't really consider grocery shopping part of the shopping aspect of the battle of the sexes. My current wife buys me most of my clothes; socks, underwear, jeans and shirts and does an excellent job of it without any input from me. I buy my own shoes and boots.

But I have had 3 things buggin' me lately and I just determined to go out yesterday and not come back until all 3 of them were in the bag. The first thing I've been needing for a while is a new gun belt. I have two others that are just not makin' it any more. They were okay when they were new but the years have taken their toll and a good quality gun belt is essential for the safe and comfortable carrying of a concealed handgun. I went into one of these discount houses that sells seconds and blemished items. Brand name but some how imperfect and not salable in first-line quality stores. Gun belts (quality ones) can be very expensive and my cash flow is a little low these days so I thought I'd take a chance and see what I could find. I went to the men's wear and found the belt display. I saw a sturdy looking one and pulled it out of the rack. My size. Good color. 1 1/2 wide and very thick and stiff. Good quality leather made by Levis. The original price tag said $39.95. I paid $9.00 for it. The blemish was an imperfection in the finish on the leather right behind the buckle. Can't even be seen when I put it on because the end of the belt comes out of the buckle and covers it up.

My second issue was my watch. A couple of months ago my Timex Expedition ( which I have had and loved for 10 years ) finally died and I bought a new one. The original one was the old fashioned kind that has the second, minute, and hour hands. But I bought this new one that is digital and you need several years of college and an extra pair of hands to figure out how and to manage all the ignorant settings. It drove me crazy and the longer I wore it the more I hated it. I hated to have to do it because there is nothing wrong with the watch but it just don't fit my pistol so to speak. I went back and bought another Expedition like the first one. I should have known better when I bought the digital but I just chalk it up to lesson learned. I bought the new watch and I ain't lookin' back. Now if I ever buy another digital watch then that'll be a problem.

The third and final "win" in this little tri-fecta of mine is, in a way, the best. We went on a cruise last year and I discovered Coconut Rum. Whoooo-Eeeeeee. It ain't really safe for me to have stuff I love as much as that layin' around the house. But I finally decided that I'm a grown man. I'm not an alcoholic and don't even keep anything in the house except for when company comes or special occasions. But my last stop on my way home was the neighborhood liquor store and I relieved them of a bottle of Malibu Coconut rum and a couple of cans of Pineapple juice. Had a nice drink before dinner and another nice one after.

So, I may have went the long way around the barn but I finally got around to my manly shoppin. I was back home before I'd been gone 45 minutes and only about 15 minutes of that was spent in stores. and about 10 minutes of that was waiting in check out lines. The rest was driving.

Ain't life grand.
 
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I never fussed too much about shopping with the wife.
We have been married 30 years.
She has spent a lot of time in Gun and sporting goods stores with me.

When we are on a trip, she will point out gunstores if I miss them.

One time early one morning we were on the road in Montana, when she saw a bill bord sign on the hiway about Shilo Sharps gun company.

She said, Shilo Sharps gun company is located off exit [and gave the number], don't you want to go there???

We spent a little over 4 hours there,as they gave us the factory tour.
Nice People.
 
If you had added a splash of cranberry juice to your concoction and mixed a Malibu bay breeze..... I could almost guarantee that your precious "Man Card"would have been yanked.
I have been in the Restaurant and hospitality business for 20+ years now and while no longer in the hot kitchen,I still do most of the cooking,food shopping and it is a eye opening experience when shopping with the wife....I know the ingredients I want,the store or market it's in,the aisle and market value per lb, I map the day,drive,dining,shopping and calculate the time I need to transport perishable items in the cooler that has a permanent spot in my trunk.
She.....in the rare occurrence that the kitchen beckons, takes 2 days to shop,never has enough time to prep,always forgets something but still produces a fine meal......I think I work too damn hard at it but it's a man thing....... as for a cocktail? 3 things in a glass,1 being ice.
Now how's that for maintaining the man card?
 
My wife hates to shop for clothes which is too bad because I really enjoy flirting with salesgirls. I meant Sales Women. Sorry.
The exception is for cars and guns. She loves shopping for them. And best of all: she's so cheap, she squeaks. I meant frugal; sorry. She'd rather drink blood than spend more than $10.00 for a blouse.
The exception for that, once again, is for cars and guns.
What a girl. I meant woman; sorry.
 
My wife shops as I like to refer to it as a BUMBLEBEE. Round and round darting off over there, other side of the store and around in some more circles. drives me crazy. Some folks think that having knee problems is all bad, not always so. Makes a great excuse for not going on those little trips. Now she doesn't even ask me. she just calls our daughter and they go off on their buzzy little ways.
Larry
 
Jack you are correct. Women shop, men make purchases. The end result may be the same, your hard earned money is now someone else’s, but the process sure is different.
Maybe it has something to do with the hunter gatherer mentality.
Men have a goal and hunt it down. While women flitter about gathering and sampling.
 
Maybe it has something to do with the hunter gatherer mentality.
Men have a goal and hunt it down. While women flitter about gathering and sampling.

I think you and old bear got it figured out.

My wife hates going to the store with me and I feel the same about going with her. That's for close and such.

Groceries? We go in a different direction most days and She shops at her store and I make purchases at mine. The only thing deferent is she can spend an hour getting a few things and a few more. I get what's needed.
 
I had two marriages before I got it wonderfully, contentedly right the third time. She died, but we had some good years because there was some separation. I did most of the cooking (she was a very good cook, but had raised three large boys and a no-good ex-husband and was tired of cooking), so I shopped for the menu items. She bought the staples like coffee and flour and eggs. We did NOT shop for clothes together. We kept separate checking accounts. She told me if I ever stopped noticing goodlooking women she would know to call the coroner, and if she ever stopped noticing handsome men I should do the same. She had the hots for Sean Connery and Patrick Stewart, I had them for Bernadette Peters and Rita Moreno, and we were both okay with that. She NEVER wanted to shop for guns or knives or fishing tackle with me, but had no problems with my doing it.

It was a great ride, but too short. Still, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. And separation in the shopping arena was crucial!
 
My "view" Right or wrong, but mine.

I'm 45 years of age and have avoided wives(mine) and kids. I figure I'm too set in my ways to deal with any of the husband emasculation duties that are occasionally "required" by the female persuasion. I'm very quick to tell females I meet about my situation and choices and why. If they stick around, so be it. If not, they are on to conquer someone that will allow it. I cook, clean, take out the trash, do laundry, and all the other things it takes to operate a household. A woman is around for both our enjoyment(dinner, T.V., talking, having a beer, etc) or it isn't worth it on either end. I love being around happy, intelligent women as long as things stay that way. Being upbeat is critical for me. It makes for a more harmoniious outcome for all involved. I still hope, but I'm fine in the single world I've created for myself.
 
She told me if I ever stopped noticing goodlooking women she would know to call the coroner, and if she ever stopped noticing handsome men I should do the same. She had the hots for Sean Connery and Patrick Stewart, I had them for Bernadette Peters and Rita Moreno, and we were both okay with that.

When we were young my wife would get mad if I would ogle a nice figure or a pretty face in public. When, as it often happened, I would follow one around for 2 or 3 aisles she would get furious. She eventually got over it and realized that I was just lookin'. I always told her, "Makes no difference how a man works up an appetite....as long as he comes home for supper. :D

Her fantasies are Tom Selleck and George Cloony. Mine have been Sigourney Weaver, Bo Derek, Nichole Kidman and Diane Lane. In my view a man is still a man until he is dead. Marriage is not death and a man should not be expected to "Lie Down". I have been faithful through 47 years of (2) marriages. Now she appreciates that my interest in the subject in general is still goin' strong and she know that I'm home for supper every night! :)
 
I think its for sport.

With my wife I think its the sport of the process. Finding something and seeing how little she has to pay for it. Many times she has come home with a "trophy". "I found this little top for 50% off. I had a coupon for an additional 30%, and the sales lady tacked on her employee discount for another 15%. They almost paid me to buy it!"
 
I think you and old bear got it figured out.

My wife hates going to the store with me and I feel the same about going with her. That's for close and such.

Groceries? We go in a different direction most days and She shops at her store and I make purchases at mine. The only thing deferent is she can spend an hour getting a few things and a few more. I get what's needed.

Same here. I go to buy and get out. They love to linger.
 
Personally, I think a woman likes to shop for the same reason a coon dog likes to hunt. It is all in the chase, but thats just me!
 
With my wife I think its the sport of the process. Finding something and seeing how little she has to pay for it. Many times she has come home with a "trophy". "I found this little top for 50% off. I had a coupon for an additional 30%, and the sales lady tacked on her employee discount for another 15%. They almost paid me to buy it!"
Oh my goodness, my wife drives me crazy with her shopping around to find a better deal.
We'd need something for the house, go out and find it, then she'd want to shop around and see if we can find it cheaper somewhere else.
so about $20 worth of gas later we might save a buck or 2 on the item but to her it's a big accomplishment.
 
I never fussed too much about shopping with the wife.
We have been married 30 years.
She has spent a lot of time in Gun and sporting goods stores with me.

When we are on a trip, she will point out gunstores if I miss them.

One time early one morning we were on the road in Montana, when she saw a bill bord sign on the hiway about Shilo Sharps gun company.

She said, Shilo Sharps gun company is located off exit [and gave the number], don't you want to go there???

We spent a little over 4 hours there,as they gave us the factory tour.
Nice People.
You are married to an exceptional woman.:)
 
With my wife I think its the sport of the process. Finding something and seeing how little she has to pay for it. Many times she has come home with a "trophy". "I found this little top for 50% off. I had a coupon for an additional 30%, and the sales lady tacked on her employee discount for another 15%. They almost paid me to buy it!"

My wife never appreciates my logic when I tell her she could have saved 100% by just staying at home.
 
I'm single now because my wife passed in 2008. Third marriage for both. But I know that the Good Lord allowed me 3 & that's enough.I read someplace that women blink only half as much while shopping as men. Guess they don't want to miss anything on sale.
 
Just had our 30th wedding anniversary. In all that time I still haven't gotten to the way she shops. I usually find what I want and then spend the rest of the time looking for her. One of these days I'm going to get one of them flags mounted on a long pole and attach it to her shopping cart. On the bright side we were in home depot and all I needed was a hammer and wrecking bar. She on the other hand was looking for painting stuff and actually paid for my hammer and bar with her charge card. Usually its me that has to whip out the plastic. Doesn't mean much as we both pay the bills. Happy shopping. Oh and the reason for the new hammer and wrecking bar??, could not find the old ones. Now watch, two weeks from now I'll find them just you wait and see. Frank
 
The original poster hit the nail n the head in his post. She isn't spending her money-she is spending yours. I don't care what account it comes out of or who earned it it ultimately falls on the man's shoulders to make sure there is enough to go around. For instance-she buys ....say a dress. She uses her money from her account to buy it. This means that when she doesn't have enough hmoney for ....say the insurance payment on her car....you are responsible for finding it. Or when she shope for a gift for you-that you don't necessarily want or need-you wind up making up the shortfall in her funds. Face it-it all comes out of your pocket eventually-not hers. You are head of the house and the ultimate responsibility to make sure everything is paid for is yours and you'd better do it by hook or crook. You are the safety net-not her. It's why men die earlier than their wives-they WANT TO.
 
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