More Stupid Crook Tricks

[charlie sherrill]

Around 10:30 A.M. today Doug decided to resume his burglary business. He selected a secluded house about four miles from where he lived and rode his bicycle to get there. What Doug didn't know was that the house was occupied by Missy, a friend of mine who is an investigator employed with the Biloxi Police Department, and a large black German Shepard. Missy saw Doug with a canvas bag of tools trying to break into her unmarked cruiser. As she went outside and confronted him with her Glock duty weapon she was joined by Bruiser, who immediately attacked Doug as he attempted to flee on his bike. The dog followed him down the road biting him. He came back a few minutes later. Missy didn't follow as she wasn't dressed. She didn't shoot him or at him as he was no danger running away from her. She called her husband Ron who was on the way home from church with one of the children. Ron's last job was with the U.S. Army Rangers and was the recipient of two purple hearts and several medals for valor. Ron found Doug trying to cross Highway 49 and detained him. Doug wanted to resist at first, but after "falling down" a few times decided it would be in his best interest to wait for the Sheriff's Deputy. Missy and Bruiser arrived at the highway a few minutes before the deputy and identified him as the would be thief. Doug has been doing stuff like this for years. I locked him up several times before I retired 11 years ago. Doug is locked up again. Maybe this time they will keep him a little longer.

 

[quikdraw67]

Punctuation is your friend. Missy is not the large German Shepard, correct?. Also, she confronted the perp with her Glock. So I'm guessing Bruiser is the dog. Plus she didn't follow the perp since she wasn't dressed. What she not dressed when she initially confronted him?

 

[Bekeart]

Charlie,

Keep up the good work.

This ain't an English Grammar forum.

Common Sense and Civility is not always found.

"Illegitimi non carborundum"

English translation has word that would get a ding.

Bekeart

 

[Mule Packer]

Congrats to Bruiser! Maybe I'm a little sadistic, but it always brings a smile to my face when I hear about a K-9 taking a chunk or two out of a perp. Maybe Bruiser isn't officially on the force but, by golly, after that, he ought to be.

 

[45Smashemflat]

Gotta love it when the "fur missile" is deployed…

 

[Rudi]

Good story. Sadly, I bet the perp is out before Christmas.

 

[robvious]

who's a good boy... way to go Bruiser

 

[mrchick]

Punctuation is your friend. Missy is not the large German Shepard, correct?. Also, she confronted the perp with her Glock. So I'm guessing Bruiser is the dog. Plus she didn't follow the perp since she wasn't dressed. What she not dressed when she initially confronted him?

I agree. Question marks are not typically followed by a period. If you are going to be pedantic, get it right yourself. [emoji1]

 

[ACORN]

I agree. Question marks are not typically followed by a period. If you are going to be pedantic, get it right yourself. [emoji1]

SNICKER!

 

[quikdraw67]

I agree. Question marks are not typically followed by a period. If you are going to be pedantic, get it right yourself. [emoji1]

Ok, I deserve that. That's what I get for posting after too many beers.

 

[Tom S.]

Ok, I deserve that. That's what I get for posting after too many beers.

Well st least it wasn't two many beers or to many beers!

 

[BigBoy99]

I think Bruiser deserves a steak dinner!

 

[jimmyj]

Doug's day started off bad and got worse:
1. breaking into a Cop's car
2. Meeting a female Cop and a Glock
3. Becoming a morning snack for a K-9
4. making a decision to go one on one with a mad husband who is a Army Ranger
I imagine Doug was very happy to see the Deputy arrive.

 

[ladder13]

 

[Roofuss]

Doug's day started off bad and got worse:
1. breaking into a Cop's car
2. Meeting a female Cop and a Glock
3. Becoming a morning snack for a K-9
4. making a decision to go one on one with a mad husband who is a Army Ranger
I imagine Doug was very happy to see the Deputy arrive.

You can't fix stupid !!

 

[Piwo]

I don't think Doug will learn from this. Despite the relevant lesson plan provided by Missy, Ron and Bruiser, I believe Doug is going to be more stupid next time. I think Doug will accept the challenge and outdo himself next time. Guys like Doug are like that. I don't know why, been that way for all my time.

 

[SAFireman]

Merry Christmas Charlie!


....and here's to hoping that the magistrate is on leave until after the 1st of the year

 

[Grayfox]

I love a happy ending!

 

[jscheck]

I too love a happy ending! However, it's been my experience that the "Dougs" of the world never learn. They either age out, or die out. Too stupid to learn and too lazy to change!

 

[Kanewpadle]

I hope it hurt like hell we he "fell down".

 

[Doug M.]

Acute failure of the victim selection process.

 

[Phenix]

Doug's day started off bad and got worse:
1. breaking into a Cop's car
2. Meeting a female Cop and a Glock
3. Becoming a morning snack for a K-9
4. making a decision to go one on one with a mad husband who is a Army Ranger
I imagine Doug was very happy to see the Deputy arrive.

I think you are looking this all wrong.
1. Doug got to look over a a car that interested him.
2. Met the car's owner who even let him look at her pistol.
3. Got to spend quality time with her dog.
4. Even got to have some interaction with car owner's war hero husband and child.
5. Developed a memorable relationship with yet another influential member of
the local public servant community.

 

['79 Magnum GT]

I think you are looking this all wrong.
1. Doug got to look over a a car that interested him.
2. Met the car's owner who even let him look at her pistol.
3. Got to spend quality time with her dog.
4. Even got to have some interaction with car owner's war hero husband and
child.
5. Developed a memorable relationship with yet another influential member of
the local public servant community.

Words to live by.


Rick

 

[tlawler]

3. Got to spend quality time with her dog.

Classic

I love it that criminals are so uncoordinated that they tend to fall down frequently.

 

[charlie sherrill]

Around 10:30 A.M. today Doug decided to resume his burglary business. He selected a secluded house about four miles from where he lived and rode his bicycle to get there. What Doug didn't know was that the house was occupied by Missy, a friend of mine who is an investigator employed with the Biloxi Police Department, and a large black German Shepard. Missy saw Doug with a canvas bag of tools trying to break into her unmarked cruiser. As she went outside and confronted him with her Glock duty weapon she was joined by Bruiser, who immediately attacked Doug as he attempted to flee on his bike. The dog followed him down the road biting him. He came back a few minutes later. Missy didn't follow as she wasn't dressed. She didn't shoot him or at him as he was no danger running away from her. She called her husband Ron who was on the way home from church with one of the children. Ron's last job was with the U.S. Army Rangers and was the recipient of two purple hearts and several medals for valor. Ron found Doug trying to cross Highway 49 and detained him. Doug wanted to resist at first, but after "falling down" a few times decided it would be in his best interest to wait for the Sheriff's Deputy. Missy and Bruiser arrived at the highway a few minutes before the deputy and identified him as the would be thief. Doug has been doing stuff like this for years. I locked him up several times before I retired 11 years ago. Doug is locked up again. Maybe this time they will keep him a little longer.

Update: Doug got out of jail a few weeks ago. Not long after his release he got into an altercation with his girlfriend and she shot him with a .22 pistol. The wound was not bad but was enough to take him out of the fight. I went to our local post office a few nights ago and Doug and the same girlfriend were arguing in the road near the post office. I guess they got back together after she shot him. Doug, and the judge that released him, apparently have a learning disability.

 

[Phenix]

Update: Doug got out of jail a few weeks ago. Not long after his release he got into an altercation with his girlfriend and she shot him with a .22 pistol. The wound was not bad but was enough to take him out of the fight. I went to our local post office a few nights ago and Doug and the same girlfriend were arguing in the road near the post office. I guess they got back together after she shot him. Doug, and the judge that released him, apparently have a learning disability.

So does the girlfriend.

 

[mtgianni]

I remember an episode of COPS where a woman was arrested for killing her husband. She had stabbed him and he died enroute to the hospital. When she was arrested she said : What for?" Upon being told what happened her reply was "That @(&*. I stabbed him plenty of times before and he never died".

 

[Doug M.]

^^ That's the world in which LE lives and operates.