My Dad's Living Trust Is Finally Disolved!

[Wyatt Burp]

He died in Sept. '08. I was in charge of the living trust with two siblings. My old man was a massive accumulater (packrat) and my wife and I had to clean the house and property ourselves (with some help at the end due to some arm twisting). It took forever then I dealt with the lawyers, accountant, realtor, county, inspectors, cesspool people, appraisors, etc.and now we finished the final estate tax return. It feels like a forty ton weight is off our shoulders. During this I had to deal with a money grubbing brother who tried to pull a double cross but got slapped down hard. Sponging off the old man while he was alive wasn't good enough so he tried to back out of promises made. It backfired big time. With the nice weather this week and this stuff wrapped up it just feels...really good!

 

[feralmerril]

Congradulations matt. I know it isnt fun as I had to do the same. Dad died in 2003 and mom 1993. My sister and I both lived in california and dad and all things connected to him was in wisconsin! He also had alzheimers and it involved me haveing to make many trips back and forth plus liveing with him in squaller for 6 months.
A few things did go well. First while my sister and I dont see eye to eye much, we never fought over the will or estate. But then again since I had just retired and she was still working it mostly fell on me.
My dad has a kid sister that lived in the same town where he was in a rest home and she was a huge help. Aunt helen had just went through nurseing her husband with alzheimers, died, then dad came down with it.
It would have been much worse without her. Sis and I kicked in $10,000 apiece to buy her a much needed car at the end of it.

 

[Snapping Twig]

Lost my Dad in 87. He had a convoluted will and his evil girlfriend had him write a codicil. Truly a textbook of what not to do with one's estate. He was a very wealthy man, but the evil girlfriend got it and my sister and I were cut out.

I, of course, was the executor and had all the headaches. Took years, Dad's girlfriend was an evil b***h and did every possible evil action. My sister was no help either and a bit of a sponge that couldn't conceive of helping w/o being paid to do so.

3 years back my wife lost her Mom and Dad, but their estate was a living trust and better organized. They were not wealthy, but they WERE pack rats and again, the wife and I shouldered all responsibilities and her sister and brother were less than helpful and her brother actually violent.

I've learned that money does not change people, it reveals them.

 

[Wyatt Burp]

bb

Lost my Dad in 87. He had a convoluted will and his evil girlfriend had him write a codicil. Truly a textbook of what not to do with one's estate. He was a very wealthy man, but the evil girlfriend got it and my sister and I were cut out.

I, of course, was the executor and had all the headaches. Took years, Dad's girlfriend was an evil b***h and did every possible evil action. My sister was no help either and a bit of a sponge that couldn't conceive of helping w/o eing paid to do so.

3 years back my wife lost her Mom and Dad, but their estate was a living trust and better organized. They were not wealthy, but they WERE pack rats and again, the wife and I shouldered all responsibilities and her sister and rother were less than helpful and her brother actually violent.

I've learned that money does not change people, it reveals them.

That last line says it all. It shows how people you care about and assumed cared about you are willing to end a relationship just to get more of the others "stuff". But it's interesting how letting someone know you aquired their ex-girlfreinds phone number, the one they never paid child support to, makes them sing your tune real fast.

 

[Road Rat]

Been there.........done that!!!!!!!

Makes you wonder why you ever thought you might like your siblings!!!

 

[Hobie]

Been there and done that (well, still settling the estate). Sister not so bad due to well written will. I understand your relief!

 

[Steve in Vermont]

When your dad died it was like someone put a knapsack on your back and every week they added some weight. One day you got up and the weight (burden) was gone. Many of us who have been there, done that, understand where you're coming from. Glad to hear some good news. Thanks for sharing and the best of luck.

 

[tripledipper]

"A well written will." One that cannot be contested is the key to avoiding seeing the bad side of human nature.

 

[HGWT]

I too have also been their and done that. Years before my Dad died his attorney enlighten me to what happen when the last parent died. That even though you all grew up in the same house there is always someone who feels they didn't get their fair share. That being said I knew I was going to have to deal with some issue like brother sister don't talk to one another only throught me. Sister continue to spend Dad"s money even after death. When the estate was final I was entitle to a large amount of money for handling the estate. I knew that if I took it ,they would turn on me, so I split it 3 ways. The only time I here from them is when they want something. We all had the same parents, grew up in the same house, and had a pretty good childhood. Go figure

 

[wbraswell]

Sounds like some of the problems concerning Wyatt's dealings with the bureaucracy and taxes, are great reasons not to live (or die) in California. A trust trumps a will.

 

[Vulcan Bob]

Hey there Matt, good for you! After I did that same sort of thing I figure if you really dont like someone make them the executor of your will! I am a lucky person, my three sisters and I had zero problems and worked well together for the common good. I have seen some go down bad and the only people who made out were the attorneys.

 

[Wyatt Burp]

Sounds like some of the problems concerning Wyatt's dealings with the bureaucracy and taxes, are great reasons not to live (or die) in California. A trust trumps a will.

Except for a few really stupid environmental hoops concerning selling the house, I think it's probably the same as other states bureaucracies and hassles. The biggest problem was doing EVERYTHING by ourselves until the very end when I had to get nasty to get some help. And a brother who asked me about six hours after our dad died, "So, when are we going to get some money to play with?" The house money was split evenly a few months ago. All ours is in the bank. His is gone. He even wanted the tools my nephew was promised so he could pawn them. I wised him up on that one right quick. I'm six years younger than him and I had to treat him like the little kid he is.
But a living trust is the way to go. just make sure you pick the right person to control it.

 

[blujax01]

Four years ago, my younger brother died unexpectedly. He didn't have a Will as he was only 50 and divorced. My Dad (80 at the time) stood to inherit everything but wasn't up to the task of settling the Estate. Long story short, my wife and I worked daily for 12 months (from Ohio) to liquidate everything (in L.A.) and eventually my Dad got a quarter million dollar check. We thought it would bring him a little comfort.
It ruined his life. He and wife #3 fought over it until the day he died. She was certain he was wasting it (he was indeed drinking it up) and he was convinced she was stealing from the account, which she was.
The month after his death this past November she called my wife to tell her that she had written me out of her Will as she no longer liked me. So her six kids will split my dead brother's legacy.

Oh well, I didn't expect anything so I got exactly what I thought I would.

 

[bk43]

A trust trumps a will.

That is not true, at least here in Florida and anywhere else I am aware of. They each can accompish slightly different things but have equal standing in all cases.

Wyatt, my sympathies. We just went through a couple of these and they are real eye openers. Sometimes you go home at the end of the day and go "man, who would have ever guessed that". But they damn sure do it, don't they, and I'm told to count on it where money is involved.

Bob

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Ben Franklin said:
"If you want to get the real measure of a person's character, share an inheritance with them."

 

[GTbob]

Been there.........done that!!!!!!!

Makes you wonder why you ever thought you might like your siblings!!!

I know that I don't like my siblings..... That is why I don't speak to them. They are completely different people from me.

Bob

 

[GTbob]

Wyatt..... I am glad it is finally completed for you. I know the work it can be!

 

[explorer13421]

I am an attorney, and have written a few wills and assisted in the administration of a few estates (I am always this understated).

Estate planning is like anything else, you get what you pay for. I charge my hourly rate for estate planning. This includes as much time as necessary with the client discussing their assets, how they are titled, and what they want done with their assets. I also talk about power of attorney, and health care proxy/agent (sometimes called a living will). I then draft the documents, and meet with the client to review and sign them. The usefulness of trust varies depending on the circumstances.

A key thing for the lawyer is to properly identify the client. Is it the 80 old person, or the person's child? The lawyer should talk with the client, alone, to make sure that what the client wants to do is really what the client wants and not what a child or other person wants.

At least in New York State, and I suspect other states as well, one can not effectively disinherit a spouse. A spouse gets a marital or elective share, if the spouse wants it. In NY it is the greater of $50,000 or one third of the estate. As usual, there are a lot more rules that apply.

A will disposes of property owned at the time of death. Property that is jointly owned with another, or subject to a beneficiary designation in a profit sharing plan, for example, does not go through the estate, but might be included for determining the elective share.

Estate planning is not expensive, certainly not when compared to the expense and/or heartache involved when there is no estate planning.

Administering an estate takes some time. In NY an estate can not be closed out until 7 months have gone by from the date the executor or administrator is appointed. That is so any creditors of the deceased have a time to submit their claims to the estate. Some estates take longer.

It is sad how often family baggage comes up when the second to die parents' estate has to be taken care of.

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

I still prefer writing wills and trusts to divorce work!

 

[coobie]

He died in Sept. '08. I was in charge of the living trust with two siblings. My old man was a massive accumulater (packrat) and my wife and I had to clean the house and property ourselves (with some help at the end due to some arm twisting). It took forever then I dealt with the lawyers, accountant, realtor, county, inspectors, cesspool people, appraisors, etc.and now we finished the final estate tax return. It feels like a forty ton weight is off our shoulders. During this I had to deal with a money grubbing brother who tried to pull a double cross but got slapped down hard. Sponging off the old man while he was alive wasn't good enough so he tried to back out of promises made. It backfired big time. With the nice weather this week and this stuff wrapped up it just feels...really good!

I feel your pain.My dad died in 2000 my mother passed in 2009.I dealt with my ***hole car salesman brother who would sell his soul to the devil to make a buck.Glad to hear things are better.coobie