DaGOOSExyz
Member
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Losing your Father or Mother is a hard blow no matter what
the relationship you had with them. I am very sorry.
the relationship you had with them. I am very sorry.
My Father Died
- Thread starter Texas Star
- Start date
model70hunter
Member
Texas Star I am sorry for your loss. I understand some of what you are saying, my Dad was a little distant too, an engineer, and seemed to talk of my athletic skills to folks when I was with him rather than what an outstanding kid I was, or tried to be at times anyway.
He got much closer after I matured. I did learn from him, I passed it on to my children in a much more tactful manner. He taught me things like, if you want a deer rifle there is a gun shop and they take your money. If you want a car there are things called car lots and they take your money, etc. I helped my kids on the first gun and first car. But then they knew once on their own, if they wanted something there is a store for it. Dad was a child of the depression and had to earn his way, I guess it was that way for many of them.
Dad too went through Dementia and Altzhiemers. My Dad had multiple degrees, one was English Lit, he too wrote technical papers and was death on my spelling errors. But like I said he warmed up lots to my brother and I as we matured. We miss him, he's been gone 3 years. Died at 86, veterans home, pneumonia. When my brother called and said he's going to pass, I drove 1/2 way across Missouri on the interstate over 90 MPH and was not seen by the LEO's. He passed just before I arrived.
Texas Star, I wish the best for you and your family. Some things I did not grasp early on were, life is not fair, you must play the hand your are dealt while young but have learned you can choose better cards with wisdom.
It sounds like you did great with your children, that is what it is about, what happened between you and your parents is a different story, but one sure can learn from others mistakes.
My brother and I bought our own guns, cars and necessities and once or twice when younger we discussed the exact fact that we did not want to be like our Dad. A good man, but we felt there were better ways. My kids have done well, they did it on their own, did they ask for a few things and advice because I unlike my Dad kept doors open. One is a bank VP, did it on her own, 2 girls are RN's, my oldest son is the plant manger for a major outdoor company and everyone here knows the name.
I am proud of all 6 of my kids, not because they have some title, nope I'm proud because they did it on their own, and they love their Mom and Dad. Dang the L (love) word snuck in there, don't know how that happened, I'm a real tough guy who don't use those kind of 4 letter words. Ha.
Texas Star, I hope the boat rights it's self for your family. Life is about the future, I seem to remember reading about Texas history and folks were all excited about going to Texas once upon a time. One fellow wrote a book based on letters to and from Texas written before they became a Republic, everyone was excited about the future.
I'm 66.5 years young. I retire in 30 days. I'm retiring to my farm, planting an orchard and vineyard, buying cows, chickens, oinkers, sheep and my bride of, well it's been decades, wants a Llama. I'm looking to the future, not over my shoulder at the past. Except for what we learned, the past is dead. My lights are pointed straight ahead, going to the farm in Kansas.
He got much closer after I matured. I did learn from him, I passed it on to my children in a much more tactful manner. He taught me things like, if you want a deer rifle there is a gun shop and they take your money. If you want a car there are things called car lots and they take your money, etc. I helped my kids on the first gun and first car. But then they knew once on their own, if they wanted something there is a store for it. Dad was a child of the depression and had to earn his way, I guess it was that way for many of them.
Dad too went through Dementia and Altzhiemers. My Dad had multiple degrees, one was English Lit, he too wrote technical papers and was death on my spelling errors. But like I said he warmed up lots to my brother and I as we matured. We miss him, he's been gone 3 years. Died at 86, veterans home, pneumonia. When my brother called and said he's going to pass, I drove 1/2 way across Missouri on the interstate over 90 MPH and was not seen by the LEO's. He passed just before I arrived.
Texas Star, I wish the best for you and your family. Some things I did not grasp early on were, life is not fair, you must play the hand your are dealt while young but have learned you can choose better cards with wisdom.
It sounds like you did great with your children, that is what it is about, what happened between you and your parents is a different story, but one sure can learn from others mistakes.
My brother and I bought our own guns, cars and necessities and once or twice when younger we discussed the exact fact that we did not want to be like our Dad. A good man, but we felt there were better ways. My kids have done well, they did it on their own, did they ask for a few things and advice because I unlike my Dad kept doors open. One is a bank VP, did it on her own, 2 girls are RN's, my oldest son is the plant manger for a major outdoor company and everyone here knows the name.
I am proud of all 6 of my kids, not because they have some title, nope I'm proud because they did it on their own, and they love their Mom and Dad. Dang the L (love) word snuck in there, don't know how that happened, I'm a real tough guy who don't use those kind of 4 letter words. Ha.
Texas Star, I hope the boat rights it's self for your family. Life is about the future, I seem to remember reading about Texas history and folks were all excited about going to Texas once upon a time. One fellow wrote a book based on letters to and from Texas written before they became a Republic, everyone was excited about the future.
I'm 66.5 years young. I retire in 30 days. I'm retiring to my farm, planting an orchard and vineyard, buying cows, chickens, oinkers, sheep and my bride of, well it's been decades, wants a Llama. I'm looking to the future, not over my shoulder at the past. Except for what we learned, the past is dead. My lights are pointed straight ahead, going to the farm in Kansas.
TS... Prayers send and my condolences ... It's never easy losing a parent..
Even if you weren't close
He was your Dad and I know you'll miss him. I miss my Mom. Dad's hanging in there pretty good.
He was your Dad and I know you'll miss him. I miss my Mom. Dad's hanging in there pretty good.
joeintexas
US Veteran
So very sorry to hear of your fathers passing, especially the way you and your siblings found out, no matter your relationship that was just wrong. My dad is 93, lives with my wife and I. I know his time is short. I dread the thought of it everyday. May you find peace.
ancient-one
US Veteran
Sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad many years ago and the memories good and bad never go away.
Sorry for your lose. You inherited his writing skills. I've been told that some who had the less than perfect father son relationship the son does a better job raising their own children. Least I hope that's true.
Jim,
Very sad to learn of your loss. Your comments were very heartfelt and reveal a great sensitivity. I'm always saddened to learn of estranged families. Almost invariably, when a loss occurs in them there is a heightened sense of regret for those remaining. The only salvation is to focus on the positive memories and attempt to avoid duplicating the negatives with those remaining in our sphere.
Bob
Very sad to learn of your loss. Your comments were very heartfelt and reveal a great sensitivity. I'm always saddened to learn of estranged families. Almost invariably, when a loss occurs in them there is a heightened sense of regret for those remaining. The only salvation is to focus on the positive memories and attempt to avoid duplicating the negatives with those remaining in our sphere.
Bob
Arik
Member
Sorry for your loss. Sorry to hear about how your stepmom acted.
If it makes it easier my dad is the same. We never had a father/son relationship. He was never into anything i liked and i dont like anything he's into. I grew up with a male figure in the house, not a father figure.
Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2
If it makes it easier my dad is the same. We never had a father/son relationship. He was never into anything i liked and i dont like anything he's into. I grew up with a male figure in the house, not a father figure.
Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2
As fine an obituary as I'be ever read.
Thank you for sharing your story TS. I'm saddened to hear of your loss, and of the broken relationship with your dads second family. It does sound like your dad made an effort, at least the best he could, in later years, and that is important.
Take care, I pray for the good Lords blessings and comfort for you and your family.
Take care, I pray for the good Lords blessings and comfort for you and your family.
People are what they are ,good , bad , indifferent. Look at it this way what would you be if it was not for your father?Not trying to make light of your situation but we all fall short sometimes in life.Give him the benefit of doubt and think HE did the BEST HE could do.
I have had much the same as you with my father and have dealt with it this way.
I do so wish they would have recognized our children for what they were.
I have had much the same as you with my father and have dealt with it this way.
I do so wish they would have recognized our children for what they were.
gaucho1
Member
TS
You keep surprising me with your depth and honesty.
Grief reflects capacity to love.
My Very Best to You and Your Loved Ones.
John
You keep surprising me with your depth and honesty.
Grief reflects capacity to love.
My Very Best to You and Your Loved Ones.
John
HOUSTON RICK
Member
May your Dad rest in peace. My own father is starting to get very forgetful and has his eyes on the next world.
Massad Ayoob
Member
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2006
- Messages
- 184
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- 584
Condolences, sir, and thank you for a heartfelt post that made us all think.
dwpmusic
US Veteran
Truly sorry for you loss and just as sorry that your relationship with you father was less than you had hoped. I lost my Dad just before I turned 13 years old and just after he had his 58th birthday. That was 54 years ago. I have missed him more as an adult than I did when I has a kid. I know he loved me and being a little over protective was a product of his love. I wish I had him to talk to now that I am approaching 67 years old. God bless you and yours.
tyusclan
Member
Very sorry for your loss.
OP
Texas Star
US Veteran
Again, thanks for your compassion. I guess that I needed to vent a little, and this place costs a lot less to visit than a shrink would charge. Probably more effective, too.
I'm very touched by your compassion.
I know that some of you fellows don't post much, especially Massad. I'm a little overwhelmed at your presence in this topic when some of you are so scarce on the board in general. Your sympathy and good wishes are most appreciated.
I sent my son a link to read this topic, and he called last night to say that he is following it. He, too, is grateful for your support.
I am leaving the matter of my stepmother's callousness in the Lord's hands. I'm not happy about it, but wallowing in bitterness won't help, and she did care for Father in his final years, until he had to be hospitalized. And this experience did confirm my opinion about my stepsister and brother and the sister's husband. As a couple of you legal beagles put in your signature lines, he's a lawyer, but he's not my lawyer, and probably isn't ever going to be. I hope he treats his clients better than he did my brothers and me.
Probably treats his dog better, for the matter of that. On the other hand, he may just be trying to steer a safe course where his mother-in-law is concerned. I'm trying to think of that angle on his behalf.
Anyway, thanks again for your support. I wish that I could Like all posts, but that isn't practical, so I'm trying to single out very few. I hope this won't offend anyone.
I'm very touched by your compassion.
I know that some of you fellows don't post much, especially Massad. I'm a little overwhelmed at your presence in this topic when some of you are so scarce on the board in general. Your sympathy and good wishes are most appreciated.
I sent my son a link to read this topic, and he called last night to say that he is following it. He, too, is grateful for your support.
I am leaving the matter of my stepmother's callousness in the Lord's hands. I'm not happy about it, but wallowing in bitterness won't help, and she did care for Father in his final years, until he had to be hospitalized. And this experience did confirm my opinion about my stepsister and brother and the sister's husband. As a couple of you legal beagles put in your signature lines, he's a lawyer, but he's not my lawyer, and probably isn't ever going to be. I hope he treats his clients better than he did my brothers and me.
Probably treats his dog better, for the matter of that. On the other hand, he may just be trying to steer a safe course where his mother-in-law is concerned. I'm trying to think of that angle on his behalf.
Anyway, thanks again for your support. I wish that I could Like all posts, but that isn't practical, so I'm trying to single out very few. I hope this won't offend anyone.
Last edited:
mg357
Absent Comrade
Texas Star: You have my sympathies, my prayers my condolences and my compassion.
