I have two, first and second grade, that play a game where they throw stuff over the seat back to each other. One day, they were throwing hats, jackets, gloves, folders, books, and bookbags over the seats at each other, and regularly clocking the hell out of the Ks.
I confiscating all that stuff, so these two took off their shoes and started throwing them. So I wound up with two kids on my damn bus with no damn shoes on.
Meanwhile, I have to figure out how to separate those two from two other first graders, who basically entertain themselves and each other by screaming at the top of their lungs.
***
Fifth graders accused some kid (3rd grader) of throwing scissors at them. I lay into the kid a little, he had his bookbag open, so I just figured he had the things out and the idiot 5th graders freaked because they hate him and his brother (admittedly, the two can be irritating). Didn't feel bad because it was crazy unsafe anyway.
So of course, the 5thies go home and tell their parents. Parents launch a rager at the school, although one dude told me what was happening, so at least I could get out in front of it.
1. Hit up my little informant network. Nobody saw anything.
2. Pulled the fifth and fourth graders individually. "Well, no, I never saw any scissors..."
3. Had the tapes pulled from my damn bus. Tapes show nothing, although principal now believes I am the patron saint of patience.
So we just totally made up the whole thing. Have a pretty good idea of what caused it. The accused 3rd grader and his little brother, as a side effect, are much better behaved, to the point where I wrote a note home.
***
How I long for the days when I just drove special needs. Had a grade schooler that threatened to punch me in the afternoons (and got caught in school with a list entitled "How To Be Bad On The Bus, by XXX"), the rest of the time the kids were basically great. Including a severely disabled high schooler who was pretty much just the best human being you could possibly imagine. Made construction paper cards for his mom with crayons. My morning SPED grade schoolers still run up and hug me if they see me at school.
Now I've got maybe three that could genuinely use the quieter atmosphere on the little bus, except we don't have enough buses or drivers, and I have 70 damn kids.
On the plus side, I drive that Hell Run morning and afternoon. They're not bad in the morning, still waking up. It takes me 30 minutes to get them all home, and really only 20 minutes to get the real monsters off. I have a middle school AM run that's literally 100% perfect behavior and safety standards, and a PM run where I drive one kid home from an out-of-district school.
So really, the way I look at it, I only "work" 20 minutes a day. Same money as last year, no aide to complicate my workday, and literally a solid hour less of work per day. And because I'm paid for as long as the run is scheduled for, I have time to drive 30 minutes home in the afternoon, and arrive still on the clock.
***
Principal watches the tapes, asks me how I put up with...well, that.
"Oh, you know I love all my kids," I tell him. Insert long pause.
"Hell, I even like maybe 90% of 'em."
