Phrases you hate to hear

[David LaPell]

Well we had your favorite aphorisms, now how about those phrases you don't want to hear.

Two of them come from my wife.

"I have a coupon for that."

"It was on sale."

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

 

[ogilvyspecial]

I have good news & bad news, which one do you want to hear first?

The above is usually followed later on by, It could be worse...

 

[youseemym&p]

"your kidding!" uhhh nope
"is that gun real?" no its a very accurate replica piece that happens to fire live rounds
"why do you need to carry a gun" because it would damage the finish if i dragged it behind me on a string
"well i think" well i dont care

and the most precious "would you like to sign this petition" - would you like to leave me alone?

 

[chud333]

I've got a headache.....
drivers license and registration.....
Houston we have a problem......


chuck

 

[ogilvyspecial]

Houston we have a problem......

This one has become a classic.
At least for my generation it has.

 

[old bear]

The number 1; boss Mike Wallace and a 60 minuets crew are in the lobby and would like to speak with you.

 

[feralmerril]

This is gonna hurt me more than you
I was told, and have observed---
Ok, lets hear your story
Yuh aint got no more adjustment left here
I dont see your name on the list
Your only going to feel a little pressure.
Do you know where you are?
We dont take him out much any more.
He`s dead.

 

[Texas Star]

"Absolutely", esp. if misused. It seems to be a real buzzword amomg liberal elitists and celebs on TV.

 

[beach elvis]

"Will the defendant please rise?"

 

[Flathead]

Give us a sense.....
Boots on the ground
Millionaires and billionaires

 

[Raider]

"Ain't no big deal" ... used by morons everywhere when the problem doesn't apply to them.

Charlie

 

[s&wchad]

"We need to talk..."

 

[Thuer]

Next patient please.

 

[mc5aw]

"How'd I do?" ---> How'd you do what?

"I need help with a date!" ---> Try a dating service.

"Anyone troubled by locks?" ---> Not on a bagel with cream cheese.

"I'll never buy another S&W!" ---> Who cares? Go play on the plastic fantastic forum.

"Is this a good deal?" ---> Yes it is. Happy now?

"What should I carry in bear country?" ---> A howitzer. Next question.

"Is a .22 okay for self defense?" ---> Absolutely, as long as you're defending yourself against sundry small marauding woodland creatures.

Thank you to Al Jaffee ...

 

[mafuta54]

Hold on!

Hold on!

 

[NMPinNYC]

Does this look/smell infected to you?

 

[SpectrePilot]

Hold my beer, watch this...

 

[tork'd]

"when i'm elected..."

 

[novalty]

Not tonight.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

"You might feel a little pressure-just try to relax."
"it's the Judge"
"It's YOUR son and he's in the back of a police car"
"Just a flush???"
"I don't do that"