Recommendations for home defense pistol for wife...

The SP 101 has the weight that is needed to help with recoil.I'd suggest getting her up to speed with it,since you already have it,starting with milder loads,working on DA trigger control,and move up gradually to a good performing short barrel load.
The first thing a gun shop employee wants to show a female is an airweight J frame. Wrong move for a novice. Even I would choose an SP101 over any J frame.
These guns are thoroughly vetted,and have been in production for a long time. No problems.

If she is timid with the gun it is importamt to be patient with her.Explain calmly that the gun will not hurt her and try to get her to understand that it is an inanimate object that cannot control her,but she can control it.
Try to convince her(calmly) that with time and practice it will become easier and even fun as she inproves.
 
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My wife was married to her CZ75B - until a few weeks ago when I happened across a very nice condition 586-1 with a 4" barrel (along with a few other guns, what a great week it was). She promptly declared, "Mine!", and it's been hers since. It's such a beautiful gun too with that blueing, it reminds me of a Python. The embarrassing part is she's already a better shot than me with it. I blame it on my being 10 years older, with 52 year old eyes. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. However...

All that being said, our shotgun is the goto gun for home-defense. If I'm not home, she can handle the shotgun fine by herself. If I am there, then she can back me up with a handgun.

Some time at the range with your wife shooting the bedside shotgun is a better recipe for home defense than any pistol can ever provide. You can't CCW a shotgun (well, I can't, and she can't) so a pistol must suffice for around town, but at home the clear choice is the shotgun, the king of home defense weapons.
 
Lot's of good solid opinions expressed here. I urge you to get a wheel gun. Pick it up, point it and shoot. This will be panic time for her in home self protection, and she will not have time to think about a whole lot of things if she has a auto. Is there one under the hammer? Is the mag seeded properly, is the safety on or off. Don't burden her with these decisions. A handgun that "FITS" her hand is most important and a smaller wheel gun is the way to go. If recoil is a problem for her, go with a 9mm. Stay away from .380. If she has to shoot someone, go with this "A dead man cannot testify against you/her in court".
 
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