Saying you just can't get out of your mind...

[Doug M.]

My dad used to say "other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" for those times when things went sideways.

 

[roarindan]

time flies like an arrow,
fruit flies like bananas

close enough for Govt. work


can't see it from the road (didnt turnout to the plan)

 

[Birdbrain]

From my old boss

"speed comes with accuracy"

From a co worker

"When you get tired of grinding, you'll start doing it right" (Welding shop)

 

[usm1rifle]

My granddaddy, Herman the German, used to tell me "You're strong as a horse and damn near as smart!"

 

[Mike McLellan]

Like my dear Gramma used to say, "A fartin' horse'll never tire, and a fartin' man's the man to hire".

 

[MP22]

"Sometimes their is just not enough rocks"---Forest Gump.

 

[Smitty Wesson]

Complaining about a lawyer who was impeding a business transaction, my old boss referred to him as, "a guy who couldn't get a deal done with a hundred dollar bill in a whore house."

 

[J Rich]

I would have thought this one would have said this one by now.

"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

 

[Foodfuzz]

"Get off my lawn!"

 

[Viss]

My Dad used to say " Ya can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear".

 

[mr.jbk79]

Two things for certain, death and taxes.

 

[pilgrim6a]

He's as useless as a snooze button on a smoke alarm.

Rule #1. Live long enough to spend it.
Rule #2. Get paid.

 

[mwtdvm]

My favorites

1. Never wrestle with a pig... The pig likes it and you get dirty..

2. From Mark Twain... Good judgement comes from experience.. Experience comes from bad judgement..

3. It is hard to soar with eagles when you are working with turkeys..

4. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, the third time is enemy action.

 

[mjr]

If wishes were fishes, you'd be up to your *** in bass.

 

[Imshootin]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

It is what it is.

 

[Wyo]

Never get in a pissin' contest with a skunk!

 

[Clean Break]

"When I'm good I'm really good...

but when I'm bad I'm better!!!"

Mae West

 

[2fingers]

Never try to teach a pig to sing: It annoys the pig and waste your time.

 

[Fairlane67]

"You're old enough where your wants won't hurt you"

 

[RightArm]

Me,"Dad, you're so pessimistic."
Dad, "Optomists are often disappointed. Pessimists are sometimes pleasantly surprised."

On "if only": If only frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their butts while hoppin." also Dad.

Yet another Dadism: Careful, that's slicker than greased owl *****.

And one from a buddy of mine currently doing time, Rooster:
French fries are good for ya'. It's gots potatos in it.