Secret to a long and happy marriage.

[oldman45]

A lady went to her doctor with bruises all over her and told the doctor that her husband comes home drinking Miller beer and begins to beat her almost every day.

The doctor suggested when her husband comes home, she is to take a large gulp of iced tea and swish it around in her mouth until her husband goes to sleep. He also advised her to come back in two weeks and let him know how it went.

She returns to the doctor and says she did as directed and the husband has not laid a hand on her.

The doctor then said, "See how much better things go when a woman keeps her mouth shut."

 

[roarindan]

I know thhe secret to a long and happy marriage.

Get married.
Immediately move to a remote location while leaving the wife at the reception.
Then stay married as long as you are married but not living together.

In short, marry but not live together.

After a man marries, he needs only how to say three things.
1. I am sorry.
2. It was my fault.
3. Where do you want it?

Once a man marries, he no longer has an opinion. His opinion becomes whatever the wife says it will be.

Anyway, it is much cheaper to remain single and visit Ladies of the Evening.

the three things a man needs to say to stay happily married....

"I'm sorry"
" I dont know"
"lets try it YOUR way"!

 

[oldman45]

The reason all gay men are wealthy is because they do not have to support a woman.

 

[Kelly Green]

I guess I just got lucky. I've been happily wed for 40 years. But, I have a buddy who claims that his wife didn't know much about anything until the day they got married and then she suddenly knew everything there is to know and never lets him forget it.

 

[Double-O-Dave]

I learned a long time ago that you can be right, or you can be happy. It's your choice, but you can only have one. I've seen too many people that either want both, or cannot figure out which one they want.

Best of luck,

Dave

 

[Social Outcast]

Marriage is like a Three Ring Circus. There's the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.