NFrameFred
Member
. . . to be thoughtless and unkind.
Not so bad here on the S&W Forum because the folks who run it generally don't have sympathy or patience for such, and I sincerely appreciate that. And those I've come to "know" here that I feel are like minded souls are quick to offer support and encouragement, as well as sharing a vast and diverse pool of knowledge and experience. Basically a great community.
There are those that buck that trend (most don't generally last long; they lose interest when they aren't worshiped or coddled and move on in search of sycophants). I truly do marvel at some of those attitudes, usually displayed in snarky pointed replies when their point of view is afforded any disagreement. And inevitably those who know it all and must make sure we are aware of it usually wear out their welcome quickly.
Guess I'm moody and rambling a bit this morning . . . .
I was made aware many seasons ago that it's OK to be enthusiastic about holidays and special occasions and the very concept lends itself to 'making a big deal out of it'; but I also became acutely aware that such celebrations are not always comfortable or enjoyable and are downright painful for some. Father's Day, Mother's Day - great if (like me) those illicit good memories because you have/had good parents - not so much if your memories are not good in that department. Birthdays . . . and especially Christmas and New Year's if you've suffered loss during the season or it's the anniversary of a death, divorce, or other personal trauma. During all these happy celebratory times it's easy to overlook those that are hurting and don't wear it on their sleeves . . . .
I feel for those who display their open wounds here and share the pain life sometimes brings. It's a fine line, and though a lot of thoughtful souls are quick to offer support there are no doubt some that are reluctant to share their pain lest it comes off as cheap glad-handing for sympathy. We all go through it to some degree. I try to think of that the older I get and regret the times I may be guilty of appearing to be flip or callous - it certainly isn't intentional. I observed early on most of us have many "chums", "buddies", "pals" and the like . . . but it is my contention that an individual is fortunate indeed to have one genuine true friend in life that will accept them, warts and all, tell them when they're wrong and love them and stand by them anyway - no matter the consequences. And if you can say that about more than one person . . . you are rich indeed in a way many will never know.
I surmise that's one reason so many seek companionship and solace on an internet forum such as this. After high school, or most certainly after college age/military service years, life affords us fewer and fewer opportunities and free time to discover and cultivate new, true friendships. Life is hectic and gets in the way - and after decades slip by you realize you've been so busy surviving and making a life you've let most of it slip by you.
I guess that's the point of this little screed . . . quick draw sarcasm or snark when you perceive your toes may have been tromped on (incidentally or intentionally) should be beneath most of us if we only took a breath. Relative anonymity and a remote keyboard makes it too easy.
The internet makes it too easy to be thoughtless or unkind. And while not as final or irretrievable as a fired bullet, a belated apology or acknowledgement as an afterthought still doesn't completely heal a wound. I was going to say it costs nothing to be kind and taking a breath, reconsidering and withholding comment doesn't cause one's head to explode, but having had experience with some close to me that suffer from such conditions as being bi-polar - for some it's easier than others. We're all damaged to some degree.
My faith makes me look toward a better existence that will overcome the trials and detritus of this world. May those who bother to read this far have a blessed New Year, and peace to your heart and mind.
Not so bad here on the S&W Forum because the folks who run it generally don't have sympathy or patience for such, and I sincerely appreciate that. And those I've come to "know" here that I feel are like minded souls are quick to offer support and encouragement, as well as sharing a vast and diverse pool of knowledge and experience. Basically a great community.
There are those that buck that trend (most don't generally last long; they lose interest when they aren't worshiped or coddled and move on in search of sycophants). I truly do marvel at some of those attitudes, usually displayed in snarky pointed replies when their point of view is afforded any disagreement. And inevitably those who know it all and must make sure we are aware of it usually wear out their welcome quickly.
Guess I'm moody and rambling a bit this morning . . . .
I was made aware many seasons ago that it's OK to be enthusiastic about holidays and special occasions and the very concept lends itself to 'making a big deal out of it'; but I also became acutely aware that such celebrations are not always comfortable or enjoyable and are downright painful for some. Father's Day, Mother's Day - great if (like me) those illicit good memories because you have/had good parents - not so much if your memories are not good in that department. Birthdays . . . and especially Christmas and New Year's if you've suffered loss during the season or it's the anniversary of a death, divorce, or other personal trauma. During all these happy celebratory times it's easy to overlook those that are hurting and don't wear it on their sleeves . . . .
I feel for those who display their open wounds here and share the pain life sometimes brings. It's a fine line, and though a lot of thoughtful souls are quick to offer support there are no doubt some that are reluctant to share their pain lest it comes off as cheap glad-handing for sympathy. We all go through it to some degree. I try to think of that the older I get and regret the times I may be guilty of appearing to be flip or callous - it certainly isn't intentional. I observed early on most of us have many "chums", "buddies", "pals" and the like . . . but it is my contention that an individual is fortunate indeed to have one genuine true friend in life that will accept them, warts and all, tell them when they're wrong and love them and stand by them anyway - no matter the consequences. And if you can say that about more than one person . . . you are rich indeed in a way many will never know.
I surmise that's one reason so many seek companionship and solace on an internet forum such as this. After high school, or most certainly after college age/military service years, life affords us fewer and fewer opportunities and free time to discover and cultivate new, true friendships. Life is hectic and gets in the way - and after decades slip by you realize you've been so busy surviving and making a life you've let most of it slip by you.
I guess that's the point of this little screed . . . quick draw sarcasm or snark when you perceive your toes may have been tromped on (incidentally or intentionally) should be beneath most of us if we only took a breath. Relative anonymity and a remote keyboard makes it too easy.
The internet makes it too easy to be thoughtless or unkind. And while not as final or irretrievable as a fired bullet, a belated apology or acknowledgement as an afterthought still doesn't completely heal a wound. I was going to say it costs nothing to be kind and taking a breath, reconsidering and withholding comment doesn't cause one's head to explode, but having had experience with some close to me that suffer from such conditions as being bi-polar - for some it's easier than others. We're all damaged to some degree.
My faith makes me look toward a better existence that will overcome the trials and detritus of this world. May those who bother to read this far have a blessed New Year, and peace to your heart and mind.
