Tom Gresham thinks we are all cowards!

[frogger]

This is going to be a bit long so I apologize ahead of time but I have to get this off my chest. First, I will say that I have been an avid fan and listener to Tom Gresham's GunTalk Radio for many years. I have used his other website for videos and found them very helpful. I have been a fan of his TV shows on guns. As of today, I have unsubscribed from his podcast, deleted his shows from my DVR and deleted all links to any of his sites from my blog. I wrote a brief post about this at my blog, but want to give more detail here since gun forum members are who this rant affect most.

Instead of rehashing everything that was said, I will just quote an email I wrote to him about the incident which will hopefully clue you guys in. I wrote the following email on Mon, 11/9 @ 11:23am...

Tom,
I really like your no shrug policy and have been using it since you first mentioned it. However, I have a situation where I'm not sure how to go about it. I was listening to your podcast this week and got to the 16:03 mark on the first hour when I heard you say the following...

"I challenge everyone else, stop using these silly screen names and use your real name. And frankly, my whole thing and it really ticks people off is I say look, only a coward would do that. What are you afraid of?"

First, let me answer the question. The answer for the smart ones is identity theft. It is a real and growing crime and the more personal information you put out there, the easier it is to be a victim. Why give anyone any more information than you have to about yourself if it isn't necessary? However, the reason for the email is not to answer the question but to address the insult.

I have been listening to your show as a podcast for years. I have trusted you to provide good info both on gear and on the gun rights movement. Thanks in a large part to you I am a member of the NRA. I bought my wife a membership when she waffled on getting one herself. I've introduced dozens of new shooters to our sport. I've convinced a local gun shop to start hosting First Shots events. I've written letters to the editor. I've written my senators and legislatures on both a state and federal level. I vote largely on the gun control issue. I got my concealed handgun license and carry every day. I got my wife to get her license as well. I've done about as much as an average joe who is not a radio personality can do to advance our agenda. I have even become a certified IDPA Safety Officer so I could help give people a positive experience when they try to take up shooting as a sport. Then, after all that, I get to hear from someone I highly respect say that because I choose to use my old high school nickname instead of my real name when participating in some gun forums I enjoy, I'm a COWARD!

Tom, please tell me you just went off on an irresponsible rant. Please tell me you didn't mean that. I understand that there are some mall ninjas, some wannabes and some keyboard commandos on those forums, but there are also a lot of good guys including members of the military, law enforcement, firemen, etc... and many of them use "silly screen names". I've watched members rally around each other in times of need like on Sigforum when a trusted dealer was going bankrupt and the membership raised almost $15,000 in a raffle to save his credit and his business. I've watched members of TheHighRoad rally around Oleg Volk when his partner stole his domain name. The majority of the people on those forums are good people who give good advice AND they use silly screen names because it is fun or just because they don't choose to share personal information in a public forum. For you to insult them like that because of a personal pet peeve of yours is just idiotic and WAY below the level of professionalism I have grown to expect from you over all these years of listening.

I truly hope with all my heart that when I listen your show next week, I will hear a serious and sincere apology for these very hurtful words. If not, what you have me do? Should I just shrug and forget about it or would you have me act as you have taught me? Would have you have me unsubscribe for your podcast? Would you have me remove Personal Defense TV and Guns & Gear from my DVR? Would you have me call all your sponsors and tell them how you insulted a large percentage of their customer base? Would you have me post on all my favorite forums what you think of the members there where I'm positive you have a lot of listeners because your show gets discussed on a regular basis? You tell me Tom because right now I'm hurt and I'm pissed and following your advice you give on the show seems to mean I should become a former listener and a former fan of your show.

One more thing. There are quite a few notable people in the industry (some of which, I believe you call friends) that frequent some of the forums I visit and use silly screen names. Do you consider Bruce Gray, Paul Erhardt, Michael Bane, Cope Reynolds and Randy Lee to name a few, cowards? I know who they really are from conversations that have come up or because their screen names hinted at their true identity so I looked in their profile to see the email or website to confirm, but all of them used what you would call "silly screen names".

If you actually got this far, thank you for reading it and I hope to hear back from you.

Thank you,
*** (and yes, that is my real name)

I got a reply from him later that same day.

Hi, ***:

Thanks for writing, and you make some good points.

However, I'll never get used to screen names.

You see, I started on an online forum in 1984. This was long before AOL started the practice of screen names. I've called AOL the internet with training wheels.

I spend time on only a couple of online forums these days, and both of them require -- yes, require -- the use of real names. You would not believe how this improves civility.

Yes, I was too harsh in branding the use of screen names cowardly. I should have been more specific, because I've seen a number of cowards -- all puffed up with their egos -- attack others behind the screen -- hiding -- of a false identity. I just have no use for it.

Take all those reasons you put forward for using a screen name, and then one by one, examine if there really is a benefit, or are you just used to doing it. This might be an interesting experiment.

I will continue to avoid places where others can hide their identity.

I'll also temper my remarks on this. I have never, in 25 years, seen anyone get nasty and attack others online when we all use real names. That's certainly not the case where people can make up identities for themselves.

Thanks for writing, ***.

Tom

The problem is that part of his reply is a lie. He has said countless times on his show that the forums he frequents are TheHighRoad and TheFiringLine, both of which allow "silly screen names". I called him on this and challenged him to actually apologize and do so on the air with this reply.

Tom,

Thanks for writing back and offering at least something resembling an apology. I understand the benefits of a site that doesn't allow screen names and I'm sure you are right that most people are much less likely to make personal attacks under their real name. However, the sites you mention on your show as the ones you frequent DO ALLOW screen names. The first you always mention is TheHighRoad.us which is Oleg Volk's site. I just pulled it up and just on the first screen under General Gun Discussion I saw the following names... Hugo, VaRob, Skunkabilly, CB900F, Guns and more, Titan6, Johnny Dollar, sanglant, bigfatdave, runrabbitrun, bigjohnson, Sylvan-Forge, Ray P, The Kershaw, Warlocke, Treo, Griz44, 3KillerBs, gaweidert, etc... Then, I headed over to TheFiringLine.com and did the same thing. I found Spammy H, raymerlo, markj, QBall45, oneounceload, P97, etc... It may be true that these sites have a larger percentage of users that use their real name than most, but it is flat out wrong to say they require the use of real names. In fact, I'm registered on both forums and use the same screen name as I use on any other forum which is frogger or frogger42 if frogger is already taken.

When you made a very minor mistake talking about Crossbreed Holsters the other week you built up your mae culpa the entrie show for what turned out to be just a long commercial for the holsters. If you can go to that much trouble admitting you were wrong about something minor with a sponsor, I would think that out and out insulting a large percentage of your listeners deserves at least a passing mention on next weeks show to apologize.

BTW, I agree with you about AOL. I used to use a tag line on my emails that said "AOL for Dummies" is kind of redundant, don't you think?

Thanks again for writing back,
***

I waited for his reply which never came. I listened to this week's show in its entirety hoping to hear something. He never mentioned it. If Sigforum or GlockTalk or some other forum was a sponsor, I'm sure it would have rated a full hour to apologize but since they aren't, it went ignored. He doesn't care about upsetting his listeners... only his sponsors. After finishing this weeks show and hearing no apology I wrote this final email.

Tom,

I just finished listening to this week's podcast and I guess it will be my last. I listened to you mention things like "taking personal responsibility for your actions" and "words mean things" and "keeping things civil" and realized that those rules only apply to others and not to you. You failed on all those points with your rant last week about forum screen names and while I did appreciate you taking the time to write me back and "sort of apologize" to me, you did not take responsibility for what you yourself admitted was a mistake and apologize to the large percentage of listeners you seriously insulted last week. I have learned a lot from your show over the years, but there are a lot of sources for the same information out there and all the respect I had built up for you over the years is now gone. If you can use the word coward to describe someone for just using a silly screen name, what word would you use for someone who hid behind his microphone this week and failed to give the apology his listeners deserved for insulting so many of them? I will unsubscribe from your podcast and I will be removing your shows from my DVR immediately.

Sincerely,
***

I'm sure some of you will tell me I'm overreacting and maybe I am, but calling someone a coward for something so trivial is a big insult to me and to hear him preach on about things like how he "keeps it civil" knowing it is just B.S. was too much for me. I've lost all respect for the man. You can make your own decision on how you feel about this and if you wish to continue listening to his show (if you do now), but I wanted to make those he was talking about aware of what was said.

If you read this far, thank you. I feel better now.

 

[rewster]

Great post frogger !! I agree with you 100%

 

[The Big D]

Very interesting, frogger. Seems Gresham really got you stirred up; good for you re: your reactions.

Though I don't use my name on any forum (just three of them for me...various topics) anyone with a brain in their head could ascertain my identity.

There are myriad reasons why I use a "aliases;" all make sense to me, and no one has ever complained. Indeed, I have never seen/heard such a statement as Gresham made from anyone.

Last summer I was at an event where I believed there would be members of another forum. Though I had no proof re: who was whom, I decided to cast some bait and dropped some phrases and raised some topics that had been discussed. Fairly quickly one gentleman smiled and said: "Oh, you're TL!" A rather lovely young lady approached a bit later and said: "Hiya, TL." To make a long story short we soon had a quorum and were finally able to put faces with names...real names. One major "problem" was revealed. A young lady had thought all along I was a chick. Don't know how that had developed but happily put that myth to rest.

Be safe.

 

[Herknav]

Do what you need to do.

There are a lot of folks I don't agree with. I personally don't take offense because I don't pay his bills and he doesn't know me from Adam.

 

[Jim Shugart]

I use my real name because many of the members of the first gun board that I spent much time on used their real names.

I doubt if it really matters much. The Internet doesn't offer much anonymity. Read about Charlie Wenzel.

 

[moonclip]

Frogger, it's supposed to be fun and entertaining. Friendships and good deeds are icing on the cake. Don't let this guy's opinion get to you.

......moon

 

[BarbC]

I got involved in a huge nasty local online and hard copy newspaper issue. I used my real name when posting because I felt that I wasn't saying anything that couldn't be factually backed up, people already knew where I stood, and I definitely wanted them to know it was I who was stating these points. Some other people used their real names too, and we became personal and personalized targets for the opposition. I had zero respect for those who tried to hide behind anonymity solely to make personal attacks (as opposed to the ones who did so because they were afraid of a nasty personal attack on themselves by the vociferous opposition) because I know this bunch well enough to figure out who was whom anyway. But they weren't going to shut me up and shut me down. I believe that the so-called notariety of the incidents at least showed the people who stood with me that I was willing to take a few hits because I know I was right.

And now at public meetings, I stand up and tell them "what it is" because they all know now I'm pretty much bulletproof.

Either you have character or you don't, regardless of what you call yourself.

 

[Evil One]

I am on forums that require you to use your real name... or at least did at one point.
I have no problem using my name, I sign all my posts with my first name anyway.
If I converse with someone for a while I will make sure they get my name.
I have been on here for a while, so yall deserve that courtesy also.
Hi, Jim Jones here... pleased to meet ya.


Jim

 

[sipowicz]

This whole coward thing got me riled up...so I sent Tom a nasty note under the name "Silllypants."