Very tough decisions to make with our son

[lrrifleman]

May I toss in my two cents?

I am a retired public school teacher that is experiencing comparable situation with my son (I started my family late in life). In the public school he attended, we were never notified when he was attacked by other students. In the current parochial school, he has been safe. I attribute his public school experience to poor administration.

My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and possibly on the autism spectrum by medical professionals, but neither school. One of the things I noticed while teaching, was that many of my peers that felt threatened by students that challenged them were quick to label the offending students as discipline problems, and were quickly labeled ADD/ADHD.

A few points to keep in mind.
1. Neither private or parochial schools HAVE to employ certified teachers like public schools.
2. I was certified K-12 Social Studies, and I had minimal training in elementary education, in spite of my certification. I had negligible training in special education.
3. Teachers are only as good (as a whole) as their administrators. The administrator is the educational leader. They may focus on teaching a futile curriculum, maintaining a stalag to discourage discipline issues, or may actually focus on teaching a realistic curriculum. One of the leading tasks of an administrator is to keep his/her school in a positive public ligets.

Public schools have greater resources at hand and can address student needs better than most private schools, IFF they realistically identify the need. Sometimes, student needs can exceed the abilities of both parochial/private schools and home schoolers. As we all know, there is good and bad in everything. Diligent research is necessary in selecting schools. I would suggest that you speak with your pediatrician and have your son evaluated and hope for a negative diagnosis of ADHD, then speak with potential schools. Based on what you are seeing, I believe that your son would be best served by his removal from the offending school he is currently attending.

 

[chaparrito]

I'm also a public school educator with 30+ years' experience in elementary schools. Here's my take. ADHD is a real, serious condition. Anyone who thinks it's made up by lazy teachers who can't handle discipline problems and just wants kids doped up so they're controllable doesn't have the slightest clue what they're talking about.
Are there abuses? No doubt about it, but consider this: What other recognized medical conditioncan you think of that is first identified by non-medical professionals? Anyone? Anyone? Maybe Alzheimer's when momma first notices dad putting the car keys in the freezer, but offhand I can't think of another, can you?
The vast majority of legitimate ADHD cases are first ID'd by educators. Parents will most often deny and ignore the symptoms. Nobody wants to admit that their kid may have it. It has taken the medical profession decades to develop a fair assessment to diagnose it. There is no blood test. Here's why the notion that there are legions of drugged normal kids mis-diagnosed with ADHD simply isn't true :A truly ADHD kid's system responds the exact opposite to stimulants; which is what virtually all ADHD meds are. Forms of good old Speed. Even caffeine will calm down an ADHD kid a bit and allow him to focus better, albeit not as good as Adderall or the other meds. A normal child who is just a behavior problem put on ADHD meds will become an uncontrollable, wall climbing maniac.
As a public educator, while I care for every single kid in my class, my focus has to be on the group as a whole. I won't sacrifice 24 other kids while having to deal with a bad ADHD kid whose parents refuse to seek proper medical care for him. Properly administered meds make not only a profound difference on an affected child's ability to focus and actually LEARN, they also make the classroom environment a much safer place for all who must be there. An unmedicated kid with a serious case of ADHD can take 90% or more of a classroom teacher's time; stealing it from the rest of his classmates.

 

[Practical]

I would get the kid out of there today.

If the Principal and Vice-Principal are resigning, and there is financial issues and children are coming home injured there is possibly more going south than you realize.

I would put my kids in public school and find another church.

Anytime people tell me what to do at church it is for their good not mine.