Very tough decisions to make with our son

[bovw]

In a nutshell, our middle son had the same issue and teacher diagnosis from his first grade teacher. We did the school meeting, child psychologist, etc. We were told by the Doc that he was probably smarter than the teacher and it was a personality conflict.

With that professional option, we went back to the school for another meeting with the principal. That time he agreed to try a class change. He blossomed under the different teacher, and in a couple months will graduate HS with around a 3.9 GPA as it stands now, and was accepted to VMI last week.




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[hostler]

There are lots of decent and successful people who have attended public school, this is not the end of the world. I attended public school and I've been a pretty good person. My wife started school in a private Christian school and then had to change to a public school when her dad's job was threatened with lay offs. She remembers that she had a hard time for awhile because she was so far behind in many areas.
Everyone wants the best for their children but IMO the high school, and pre high school experience is way overrated. I know smart people who went to private school, I know smart people who went to public school, I know smart people who were home schooled and I know smart people who didn't graduate school. In the whole big picture of life, it won't matter where your boy goes to elementary school or middle school, or even high school. This is like asking, "should I give my kid generic or name brand vitamins". The ingredients are the same, but you think you have to get the expensive ones because that's how much you love him.

 

[DWalt]

I have two grandchildren (ages 8 and 13) who go to a very exclusive and expensive religious-related school (not Catholic). Fortunately I am not paying the tab. I won't go into details, but I am not at all happy about how they are turning out. I think they would have been far better off going to the local public schools, which are very good in my area. And it would socialize them much better than being around only the "Rich Kids." But I can say nothing that their mother wants to hear.

 

[JcMack]

I had a step son on Ritalin age 8 to 11 ('78 to'81). I don't know current medical recommendations but we were to give the boy the meds Mon thru Fri and he got a break from them on weekends. It was like stretching a rubber band all week and letting it snap on Friday night. Weekends were a nightmare. The kid liked to play with fire, literally.

 

[31FordA]

I am a product of 12 years of Catholic school. My parents, also Catholic school grads, sacrificed a lot to put my brother and I through school, which we are both grateful for. Our local public school was bad news then, and it's only gotten worse. When I think of what I pay in property tax for kids to graduate functionally illiterate (if they graduate at all) it makes me want to scream. The parochial elementary school we went to wasn't that great, the quality varied year to year depending on who you got for a teacher. Most of them were really great, but a few were beyond incompetent. My high school was much better, I can think of only one teacher who was useless. I managed to graduate in the top third of my class, and eventually went on to get a college degree that I didn't really need.

The concern about leaving a faith based school is understandable, but shouldn't discourage a change in school. I went to Catholic school, but I learned my faith from my parents and grandparents. Most of the kids I went to school with don't practice the faith in spite of all those years of school. If the local public school is a good one then it's worth considering. Regardless of what school the kids go to the most important part of their education, religous and secular, is mom and dad. Who I am is in large part the result of all the love and support my parents gave me. Good parents are way more important than any school.

 

[shamrocker]

my heart is with you my friend

I had a sort of similar situation years ago, I pulled my son and went the home school route.
Its not easy, and I was lucky as I was self employed and could have him sitting at a desk in my office.

It was the best decision I ever made...................I forced the state (with the help of my congress critter) to
GED him at age 14.
He blew them away, with 100%

I then enrolled him with a GED in the University of the unnamed state.....................he was driving to school with a learners permit at 14.

A year later he came to me and wanted to transfer all his credits to the university of Alaska, we did, moved him 4,000 mi and rented him an apartment, he excelled and after being head hunted by Chevron, PB, Conoco Phillips........

He is now running a plant on the north slope and knocking down just short of 200K a year.

Hes married, happy, beyond successful, and my pride and joy.

F..k the system, get them out of it, you can do so much better, granted it was a huge sacrifice in time and money.....but what I got out of it was priceless.

the government school system is not on your side.

Nuts up, whats more important? your kid? or what?

pull them, educate them, you can do so much better than the "school system"

this from a man who barely made it out of High School.

 

[Muss Muggins]

Sue their (. . . . )off, individually and as a school----the fact they are in financial trouble telegraphs that they are very poorly managed---if this happens to be your church too, find another church, (God help those who help themselves)
You could consider home schooling, if you and your wife both work, then perhaps an uncle or aunt or grandparent will step up to the task---but any child that has a 94 GPA isn't the problem to be addressed.
olcop

The fact that they are in financial trouble means there's nothing there to get from a tort action . . .

 

[JH1951]

An interesting thought to ponder about home schooling: A neighbor who home schools recently said to me "It's simply amazing what I have learned myself during this undertaking....."

 

[chaparrito]

My best teaches in high school were teachers who were a bit "non traditional" in the sense that they had a full four year degree and had worked in their field before going back for an education degree. My sister teaches elementary school, but went much the same route with a degree in biology before going back for an education degree.

I teach a class called "Chemistry for Health Professionals" which I generally shorthand to "nursing chemistry" as pre-nursing majors account for ~95% of the class(balance dental hygiene and a few other fields). I've had former teachers in the class before, and often times when I get evaluations from them the former teachers use it as a grandstand to tell me that my teaching methods "don't work for everyone" and that I need to be sure I'm "teaching to a way that all types of learners understand." Yes, those are quotes I've received, usually buried in a pile of comments from students talking about how much they learned, thinking that they wouldn't enjoy chemistry but did, and other statements of the like. I'm not opposed to trying new techniques, but at the end of the day as an adult in college it's your responsibility to learn the material the professor presents to you. That's just my little snapshot of current K-12 education trends.

Your snapshot of "current K-12 education trends" is an example taken from a college course for professionals?
Thanks ever so much!

 

[bullmack]

ADHD is way over treated - even by the pro's. Drugs should be the last resort. Some kids are simply hyper active while others are the opposite. My wife cannot sit still. She always needs to be doing something. In 1st grade (mid 50's) they simply allowed her to stand in the back of the classroom and move around. She's a med school grad with honors.

 

[lrrifleman]

May I toss in my two cents?

I am a retired public school teacher that is experiencing comparable situation with my son (I started my family late in life). In the public school he attended, we were never notified when he was attacked by other students. In the current parochial school, he has been safe. I attribute his public school experience to poor administration.

My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and possibly on the autism spectrum by medical professionals, but neither school. One of the things I noticed while teaching, was that many of my peers that felt threatened by students that challenged them were quick to label the offending students as discipline problems, and were quickly labeled ADD/ADHD.

A few points to keep in mind.
1. Neither private or parochial schools HAVE to employ certified teachers like public schools.
2. I was certified K-12 Social Studies, and I had minimal training in elementary education, in spite of my certification. I had negligible training in special education.
3. Teachers are only as good (as a whole) as their administrators. The administrator is the educational leader. They may focus on teaching a futile curriculum, maintaining a stalag to discourage discipline issues, or may actually focus on teaching a realistic curriculum. One of the leading tasks of an administrator is to keep his/her school in a positive public ligets.

Public schools have greater resources at hand and can address student needs better than most private schools, IFF they realistically identify the need. Sometimes, student needs can exceed the abilities of both parochial/private schools and home schoolers. As we all know, there is good and bad in everything. Diligent research is necessary in selecting schools. I would suggest that you speak with your pediatrician and have your son evaluated and hope for a negative diagnosis of ADHD, then speak with potential schools. Based on what you are seeing, I believe that your son would be best served by his removal from the offending school he is currently attending.

 

[chaparrito]

I'm also a public school educator with 30+ years' experience in elementary schools. Here's my take. ADHD is a real, serious condition. Anyone who thinks it's made up by lazy teachers who can't handle discipline problems and just wants kids doped up so they're controllable doesn't have the slightest clue what they're talking about.
Are there abuses? No doubt about it, but consider this: What other recognized medical conditioncan you think of that is first identified by non-medical professionals? Anyone? Anyone? Maybe Alzheimer's when momma first notices dad putting the car keys in the freezer, but offhand I can't think of another, can you?
The vast majority of legitimate ADHD cases are first ID'd by educators. Parents will most often deny and ignore the symptoms. Nobody wants to admit that their kid may have it. It has taken the medical profession decades to develop a fair assessment to diagnose it. There is no blood test. Here's why the notion that there are legions of drugged normal kids mis-diagnosed with ADHD simply isn't true :A truly ADHD kid's system responds the exact opposite to stimulants; which is what virtually all ADHD meds are. Forms of good old Speed. Even caffeine will calm down an ADHD kid a bit and allow him to focus better, albeit not as good as Adderall or the other meds. A normal child who is just a behavior problem put on ADHD meds will become an uncontrollable, wall climbing maniac.
As a public educator, while I care for every single kid in my class, my focus has to be on the group as a whole. I won't sacrifice 24 other kids while having to deal with a bad ADHD kid whose parents refuse to seek proper medical care for him. Properly administered meds make not only a profound difference on an affected child's ability to focus and actually LEARN, they also make the classroom environment a much safer place for all who must be there. An unmedicated kid with a serious case of ADHD can take 90% or more of a classroom teacher's time; stealing it from the rest of his classmates.

 

[Practical]

I would get the kid out of there today.

If the Principal and Vice-Principal are resigning, and there is financial issues and children are coming home injured there is possibly more going south than you realize.

I would put my kids in public school and find another church.

Anytime people tell me what to do at church it is for their good not mine.