Very uncomfortable experience today in the YMCA locker room

[P&R Fan]

I was in the locker room this afternoon at the YMCA. Heard a childs voice. I was just getting out of the shower and quickly went and put my pants on before I dried my hair and shaved. Turns out the child was a little girl who looked to be about 3 years old, with a man, I assume her Father. I can't believe any parent would do that. In the men's locker room almost everybody walks around after a shower or a steam without a stitch of clothing on. I'm uncomfortable if a little boy is in there, but it really upsets me when it's a girl.
I said something to the director on the way out, and he feels the same way, but says they can't do anything about it.
What do you think of this situation?
Jim

 

[brucev]

It is highly inappropriate. If it happens again, speak to the father. Do not pull punches. He has a responsibility to his daughter that trumps his convenience, etc. He will most likely not appreciate being called to account. Do it anyway. Let him know that if necessary a phone call will be made to CPS.

 

[3dots]

I think this "parent" should be horse whipped, that's what I think.

 

[cbvanb]

I'm with you, I would have been very uncomfortable. Given the atmosphere we live in today the potential exists in that scenario for all sorts of misunderstandings.
I've run into that kind of manager many times, and they are less than useless. The excuse that they can't do anything about the situation is simply a dodge of the authority and responsibility that comes with their position. It has become increasingly uncommon these days to find anyone in a position of authority who will actually step up and make a decision. The father of that child (hopefully it was the father) made an error in judgement, but the manager has now allowed the situation to become the norm at that facility, and that's going to cause a huge problem someday.

 

[P&R Fan]

Unfortunately it wouldn't have worked. They were both speaking only Spanish, and I don't understand Spanish.
Jim

 

[feralmerril]

Thats as wrong as it can get and I dont belive there isnt a rule somewhere about it. Its so elementry wrong maybe its possible the powers that are never thought they had to make it a rule. I have heard of some stupid free thinking familys that are that way but you would think they wouldnt do it in public.

 

[walkin jack]

First of all I heartily disagree with the director. I believe he COULD and SHOULD do something about it. A 3 year old child is too old to be going into restrooms/locker rooms of the opposite sex. It appears that the father needs a good "talking to."

 

[P&R Fan]

I'm with you, I would have been very uncomfortable. Given the atmosphere we live in today the potential exists in that scenario for all sorts of misunderstandings.
I've run into that kind of manager many times, and they are less than useless. The excuse that they can't do anything about the situation is simply a dodge of the authority and responsibility that comes with their position. It has become increasingly uncommon these days to find anyone in a position of authority who will actually step up and make a decision. The father of that child (hopefully it was the father) made an error in judgement, but the manager has now allowed the situation to become the norm at that facility, and that's going to cause a huge problem someday.

I don't blame the director. He feels exactly the same as I do. About 6 or 7 years ago this was an issue, and it was brought up before the local YMCA board. They had no problem with it. Ironically, the ones who were most OK with it were Women.
The director says they are going to build a family locker room. Hopefully that will solve the problem.
Jim

 

[M29since14]

...The excuse that they can't do anything about the situation is simply a dodge of the authority and responsibility that comes with their position.

That's what I think.

It sounds like someone was using poor judgment and the manager has a responsibility to notify and to require better behavior in the future. Whatever you do, for heaven's sake, keep CPS out of it.

 

[mg357]

That ain't right the "Father" should be horsewhipped then strapped down to old sparky and the switch should he put into the on position.

 

[mjr]

Whatever you do, for heaven's sake, keep CPS out of it.

I agree. I am acquainted with several CPS workers, and they have more than they can handle dealing with the serious cases of child abuse/child neglect/child rape, and they don't need any more of the trivial cases they're obligated to waste time on if reported ("Little Johnny came to school with no shoelaces in his shoes--clearly his mother is unfit").

In my opinion, someone needs to speak to that father and explain a little about cultural norms. He doesn't need the "law" involved.

 

[feralmerril]

If this situation continues it is highly likely that someday, maybe even if in a different setting someone innocent will be getting blaimed for child moleston or even worse. This aint the uncharted amazon or belgin congo.

 

[LVSteve]

In my opinion, someone needs to speak to that father and explain a little about cultural norms. He doesn't need the "law" involved.

Maybe for him it is the cultural norm.

 

[NCTexan]

In my opinion... you need a new YMCA director.

What in the heck are they paying him to direct if he can't deal with that situation? Doesn't sound like he could even direct his own bodily functions.

Let the father work his own situation out... outside of the Y.

 

[Onomea]

Maybe for him it is the cultural norm.

Here in Japan a couple of weeks ago, as it was raining and I could not take a walk for my fat self, my wife and I went to a local indoor pool. After swimming, when I came out of the showers and headed for my locker, a young father was getting his young -- maybe three or so -- child into her bathing suit using the locker right below mine. So I sat on the bench nearby, towel over my lap, at a discreet distance waiting for them to finish up. When they did, I got dressed.

I think we Americans are more uncomfortable with nudity in general, and with nudity in very young children of the opposite sex specifically, in this case, than are most cultures.

I wonder if the child at the YMCA had been a little boy in the women's locker room with his mother if people would feel the same outrage. Probably not, I expect, but I think that is due to the fact that women molesting little boys is, to my knowledge, practically unheard of.

Not looking to criticize here, nor am I trying to argue with anyone in this thread. I am just making an observation.

 

[shouldazagged]

Maybe for him it is the cultural norm.

In this kind of situation he needs to adapt to ours. But having someone fluent in Spanish talk to him sounds like the way to go.

 

[gdnagle]

Maybe for him it is the cultural norm.

Ours is one of the few cultures that put so much emphasis on nudity. Check out some of the other countries kids run around with nothing on breast feed on the bus etc. Heck in the 70's in SE Asia when ran to the showers with nothing on while momma son cleaned the barracks and uniforms neither of us saw a problem.

In this kind of situation he needs to adapt to ours. But having someone fluent in Spanish talk to him sounds like the way to go.

He** they can't even learn to speak English what makes you think they will adapt to our culture.

 

[rimfired]

In the 50's they made us swim naked in the YMCA indoor pool.
I guess the pervs got a kick watching.
I never could figure out the Native American with full
headdress and buckskins.

 

[Out West]

Something isn't right. No American father would take his daughter into the men's shower. I'm suspicious and suspect something ugly is going on with that "Dad".

Out
West

 

[nachogrande]

IT'S FUN TO PLAY AT THE YMCA

maybe you and the rest of the guys could have done that song and dance number. I bet he would have left in a hurry.