Very uncomfortable experience today in the YMCA locker room

[rwsmith]

It's not right but.....

The same thing happened in our YMCA. No the girl shouldn't be in there, but if he brings her to the Y by himself his only alternative is to send her into the womens area by herself, so it's not just cut and dried.

 

[Silver Dollar]

I hate that kind of thing with a passion. What really torques me off is when some yutz brings his daughter into the mens' room with him and I'm plugged into the urinal. Some people have no sensitivity.

 

[Jyezahn]

The same thing happened in our YMCA. No the girl shouldn't be in there, but if he brings her to the Y by himself his only alternative is to send her into the womens area by herself, so it's not just cut and dried.

No, the OTHER alternative is to drive his happy butt home and shower there, as opposed to exposing his daughter to the weenies of every Jack in the locker room.

 

[Sven]

The same thing happened in our YMCA. No the girl shouldn't be in there, but if he brings her to the Y by himself his only alternative is to send her into the womens area by herself, so it's not just cut and dried.

I'm with RW. It's no different than a mother by herself bringing her 3 year old son into the woman's locker room. I assume they were at the pool swimming, so what's a parent to do? For 9 months out of the year, it's way to cold up here to bring a wet kid home to change! Now what that Y needs to do is build several "family" locker room/showers for situations like this. That's what our Y has done, but when our kids were little (one boy, one girl), if my wife brought them there without me (I have always worked rotating shift work so. . .) my wife brought our son into the womans. If I had been a single dad, it would have gone the other way. I don't thnk I'd let my 5 yo daughter into the woman's by herself. Yes, it's an uncomfortable situation for all involved, but give the dad a break and be somewhat descreet in that kind of situation. Life's tough enough as it is if you're a single parent.

I was 10 when Mom died of cancer at age 29. My youngest sibling was 4. I remember Dad struggling with what to do with my sister.

 

[perrazi]

we had this situation in our local ymca a few years ago. even though we have huge numbers of Spanish speaking people due to hog processing plant, it wasn't one of them. it was someone who recently moved here from California. I was one who complained, there are rules that are written out that specify no females in the men's locker room. it was decided after complaints to the board of directors that a family locker room was to be built. the director is full of **** at your ymca too.

 

[old bear]

A young girl in the Men's locker room is wrong, I don't care what the B.O.D. decided. Perhaps a call to a local news outlet may change the direction of the board.

 

[Kanewpadle]

I agree it's wrong. Maybe the Hispanic culture is different? Who knows?

I have a daughter. Never would have taken her into a locker room. But when she was little and I had to go, she went into the restroom with me. Not much else to do.

The suggestion about family restrooms is good one.

 

[rojodiablo]

You have to remember, different cultures are VERY different than the one you grew up in. So take it with a grain of salt.
Learn a little basic spanish, and if you really want to get the message to him, do THIS: Write up a simple, short note explaining how girls should not be in the locker/ shower room where MEN change their clothes. Just say it is not proper for her to be there with grown men.
Now, GOOGLE the word: Translator. Up will pop a few sites, you type in your message, it will spit it out in ANY language you desire. You can pass it as a note, it's clean, easy, and he will understand it, in his language. He will act accordingly, without any issues.

Wish you luck. Best bet, don't shower in a bath house in the Phillipines.

You ain't gonna like what you see in the least bit.........

 

[nachogrande]

FEMALE IN MALE LOCKER ROOM

she will grow up to be a female sports reporter in a football locker room, that's OK. how many male reporters do you see in female pro sports locker rooms? if anyone is hiring I'm available for female tennis locker room interviews. "excuse me Serena, sorry to bother you but..." the old double standard.

 

[blujax01]

... if anyone is hiring I'm available for female tennis locker room interviews. "excuse me Serena, sorry to bother you but..." the old double standard.

Double standard? Only if the women go into the Men's locker room to ogle (as you "humorously" intimate you would do).

We have a similar situation at our community center. There are family locker rooms but they get backed up so parents continue to bring their opposite sex kids into the mens/ladies lockers. When we complained to the director, to her credit she did call the offending parents aside.
There is an age where it is okay (generally in diapers and under 18 months) and there is an age when it is no longer okay. When I hear a little girl's voice saying: "Look Daddy, that man has cartoons drawn on his body" and she's talking about my tattoos, she's too old to be in the Men's Room.

 

[sipowicz]

When I'm at my Y, I just put my thumb into my mouth and crawl into the female locker room...so far no woman has stopped me but a few did bend down and pinch my cheeks.....

 

[red14]

When I'm at my Y, I just put my thumb into my mouth and crawl into the female locker room...so far no woman has stopped me but a few did bend down and pinch my cheeks.....

All four??

 

[nachogrande]

DOUBLE STANDARD

OH HECK YEAH, women allowed in a male locker room, while men are NOT ALLOWED in the female locker room is 100% gender discrimination, and would never be tolerated by women, so how could that not be seen as anything else. it's a touchy subject for me as my profession was SUPPOSED to be gender neutral. it was that way when I began, but now if a male wants to treat/ exam a female, he needs a witness, but a female can do the exact same exam on a male/or female without one.

 

[Onomea]

Re above, and TSA security, I'd be a lot more relaxed about having females give me the pat down than males, frankly. I suspect a lot of guys feel that way. I think having females do the pat downs would deflect a lot of anxiety/aggression in guys, frankly. Guys touching us is threatening and gives us the willies. Makes us want to sock the groper. Females, well, no worries...

But I also agree that only females should do female passenger pat downs. I am okay with a double standard here.

I think men and women are different. If females -- we are talking adults here -- want to be in the male locker rooms okay by me, but I do understand why males -- again talking adults here -- are not appropriate in female locker rooms.

We are different, and that is why I am okay with a double standard for things like this. (Meaning locker room interviews and TSA pat downs.)

 

[Comrad]

Funny, when I was a kid the M in YMCA stood for men's and we never had these problems. Oh yeah, there was a YWCA nearby for the girls. Life was good and then......what happened?

 

[JcMack]

I think we Americans are more uncomfortable with nudity in general, and with nudity in very young children of the opposite sex specifically, in this case, than are most cultures.

.

I tend to agree with this but: We here in the U.S. seem to have more than our share of sexual deviants X 2. There's also a reluctance to treat these deviants, when caught, with punishments they so richly deserve. My ex taught my three year old son to swim at Y classes. They showered suits on.
The "cultures" invading this country need to adapt to our morality, not the opposite.

 

[nachogrande]

OK WITH THE DOUBLE STANDARD

so women can be and act as professionals, but men can't? where does it end? I'd love to hear your views on racial discrimination and affirmative action, LOL.

 

[Lost Lake]

If I was that man I would take the little girl in the women's locker room.

Better to offend my old eyes instead of my daughter's innocence.


On a family vacation in Florida one year, my wife and I sat by the outdoor pool while our three kids splashed and played.

A foreign family appeared, mom dad and boy girl, and the kids, maybe 7 years old or so, stripped naked and put on their suits right at the poolside. Not a big deal I thought, they were just little kids.

Then the dad stripped naked and put on his suit! My wife giggled and I told her to keep her eyes on her book...

I was full of anticipation as the woman then took off her wrap...... But NOOOO.... She sat down fully clothed to read a book!

When the family was done swimming they got out of the pool, stripped off their suits, toweled off in front of everyone, kind of discreetly, they weren't flaunting themselves, then got dressed and left.

It was just natural to them. I felt jealous that we don't have that kind of freedom and civility in this country to accept the fact that all of us are naked under our clothes.


.

 

[Mickey D]

Y, M, C A

CYA, discuss with the Director again.

 

[Cooter Brown]

so women can be and act as professionals, but men can't? where does it end? I'd love to hear your views on racial discrimination and affirmative action, LOL.

I agree with Onomea. Men and women are just wired differently (for the most part. Obviously there are some exceptions). If I had a daughter on a team I wouldn't want a man in the locker room. A son with a woman reporter in the locker room, he'd know to keep his hands to himself and be a gentleman and past that I wouldn't worry about it.

It does annoy me when a woman reporter complains about something she sees or hears in a locker room. Those guys should be gentlemen, but there is a reason for the term "locker room humor" and a reporter should know that going in. Pumped up, competitive, overgrown, privileged young men are going to act aggressively.

I act differently around women than I do around men. That is an attitude that seems to be disappearing. Look at the way young folks dress--young men wear jeans that look like they were bought in the girl's department. More and more girls get tattoos which used to be almost exclusively a male thing. And something as subtle as eyeglasses--men's and women's styles are identical. Girls call each other "dude". Seems like in many ways they're trying to remove or blur gender in this society. All I can say to that movement is be careful what you ask for.

As far as your profession, sounds like you might be in medical. The requirement to have a female present is prob. a protection against lawsuits. How many men sue for sexual harassment/inappropriate behavior?

I used to manage about 25 people in a department of a company. When I had to have a sit down with one of my female employees I always had my female admin present, no matter the subject of the talk. If it was a male and the admin was present, they knew they were in major trouble and likely about to lose their job.

As far as the guy with the kid, a friendly talk over an iced tea explaining the cultural differences is needed. And like Micky said, CYA and then CYA some more. Write a letter to the board.