My first recommendation would be to try Buffalo Bore's 158gr LSWCHP in both standard pressure and +P .38 Special and see which you prefer. I carry the standard pressure version in my 64 and 65.
I'd also second the endorsement for theSpeer 135gr .38 Special Short-Barrel GDHP. It's what I carry for reloads.
For .357 Magnum loads, I like the Speer Short-Barrel 135gr GDHP, but they're hard to find. I have one box that I've been hoarding since last year.
My favorite .357 load to shoot, though, is WWB 110gr SJHP. Very easy to shoot. To me it kicks less than the GDHP I mentioned. However, whenever I've shot it it produced a good-sized fireball from a 3" barrel so I don't use it for SD. However, if you're OK with the flash, then I think it's a good round.
I've been trying to get some Winchester 145gr Silvertips for over a year now, without any luck. I've read they have an excellent track record for SD.