Who Told You That You Could Call Me By My First Name?

[WardenRoss]

Y'all help me out here. I may be getting an old man's syndrome or something.

Does it bother you if someone calls you by your first name?

I have always been called "Mister", "Sir", or by my job title. My wife calls me "Honey" or "Dear" or sometimes a worse name. Sometimes "Neighbor" or "Amigo" or even "Dude" by a stranger. But never by my first name.

My beautiful daughter-in-law, whom I dearly adore, called me by my first name when I first met her (she was 20ish?). I cringed, but bit my tongue, out of respect for her. She's pretty too!

"Where I come from..." (thinking the song from Alan Jackson) we asked permission to call someone by their first name. This custom was never breached. I never heard anyone call my Dad by his first name, except Mom.

Perhaps, because of my line of work, paramilitary, it bothers me as insubordination.

Bottom line; Is it me, is it a Southern thing, is it too much to ask or............... whatever? Does it bother you, I guess is the real question I'm askin................

 

[chief38]

When it comes to friends, family and neighbors I LIKE to be called by my first name. When it comes to people I deal with such as strangers on a professional level, I prefer they use my last name preceded by Mr.

 

[joeintexas]

Personally it doesn't bother me at all. It tells me I make people feel comfortable enough around me to call me by my first name. I do understand the respect aspect you refer to and in some cases I do feel it's justified. If I called you by your first name it's not that I don't have respect for you, it's just that I feel comfortable enough around you to do so. But that's just me.

 

[Erich]

Things change, and America is a country that values friendliness. It's not considered an insult here these days. I'm certain you have more important things to think about, like how blessed your life is, so I hope you cut these folks slack when they try to be friendly.

 

[nachogrande]

CALL ME ANYTHING BUT LATE FOR DINNER.

What you were called was your name, NO? Since you are now retired(?), maybe lighten up a bit it isn't the end of the world. MR .... was my father, SIR- who came in. @ 61 I still call people (some younger than me) I've known for decades as Mr or Mrs, it seems silly but is respectful & a hard habit to break. If it bothers you, COMMUNICATE it to those that matter. I tend to keep calling people by the first name/tittle I used for them, including maiden names for married women. SO SORRY. This falls into the "don't sweat the small stuff" area to me. Currently I'm lucky to remember any name. When I worked I would ask Pt's how they would like to be addressed.

 

[03hemi]

We're old, get over it, it's okay now a days as long as it's with respect in my opinion.

 

[Iggy]

9 times out of 10 I insist they do.
The 10th one is probably some butt hook and don't last long around me anyway.


Anybody no matter what age that holds a door or serves me coffee or such gets a "Thank you Sir, or Ma'am. It's amazing how far a little bit of respect goes.


I still can't sit down in a restaurant or any other place, or approach a lady cashier or receptionist, and keep my hat on. My Mom taught me better.

 

[keith44spl]

I have two 'first names'............

So, I'm kinda stuck with it.


.

 

[crazyphil]

I don't care for "Hey You", but almost anything else is alright.
Oh, just remembered, the DI in basic called me a few things
that I didn't particularly like.

 

[Protocall_Design]

I would just say, in a kindly manner, "I prefer to be addressed as (whatever you prefer). Communications is the key to understanding of ourselves and others.

 

[perryhd]

My dad was Mr. I'm Dan.

 

[bearfoot]

still usually respond w/ a thank you sir or mam. get some looks from younger people. usually get a have a good day response. don't care for a person who calls me BUD.

 

[Skeet 028]

When I worked it was LT Cap or Chief Sometimes I even answered to Hey You... I still say yes sir no ma'am and even my friends are Mr Bill or whatever. Many people call me Mr...but I am not anal about my name.

 

[Kiwi cop]

When I was a kidd I would never have dreamed of calling a teacher by their first name. Most of the time we only knew them as Mr, Mrs or Miss.

But kids these days (here at least) don't know any better than to call everyone, including their teachers, by their first names.

It's a changing world.

 

[arjay]

Doesn't bother me at all

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

I was cashing my paycheck at the bank one day, and the new teller (early 20 something) ask if I was related to Mr. ___? I replied that I was Mr. ___, and so was my Father, as well as my Brother, Cousin, Nephew, and our combined 8 sons! The next teller was laughing when I finished, the new teller was befuddled. (my brother and nephew were the next 2 in line!)

My wife usually calls me Hon, but when referring to me or trying to get my attention in a group of people will use my first name. When she calls me Honey!. I know I'm in for a spell of trouble!

Dogs don't seem to have a problem with names! Some like you, some bite you, and most just ignore you, I wish more people would just ignore me! Instead of trying to call me on the phone and act like I know them!

(my last name is usually mispronounced by people that don't know us, a good indicator of our standing!)

Ivan

 

[Doug M.]

9 times out of 10 I insist they do.
The 10th one is probably some butt hook and don't last long around me anyway.

**
I'm in this camp, except the percentage is more extreme. Because of my general appearance and demeanor, I am viewed as intimidating by some. I try to keep that lower key in part by going by my first name for almost all purposes, including at work. In Court, of course, it's "Mr. Mitchell" because that's the way we do things in court. That's an exception.

There are some people who IF they are allowed to address me at all, will address me as "Sir", and I am not kind, gentle, or charitable with that group. Achieving membership in that group is not a goal to which one should aspire. This applies with only one exception to persons at the rank of Captain or above in a particular LE agency in which the delusions of adequacy are strong. It also applies to the vast majority of the Attorney General's Office here.

 

[ExRanger714]

When my wife says something akin to "sun on the beach" I answer her instinctively with "Yes Dear?"

 

[Marshwheeling]

Most of the time, I encourage people to use my first name, unless I think they are patronizing me. Then it's "Reverend Doctor ...."

 

[LoboGunLeather]

I was also taught to show courtesy and respect. New acquaintances, business contacts, and generally anyone senior to me (chronologically or in the 'chain of command') was to be addressed as Mr., Mrs., Miss (and more recently 'Ms.'). Somehow during my adulthood (past 50 years) those expectations have pretty much disappeared in the US.

I have grown accustomed to this, and I don't allow it to bother me. At the same time, when someone chooses to address me by my first name I take the opportunity to do likewise, and that includes government officials (elected or appointed), which usually seems to grate on their egos!

I also don't like titles very much. I have personally met 3 US presidents over the years, and when in conversation I have addressed them as Mr. _________ in a courteous manner, rather than as Mr. President. I do the same with mayors, law enforcement officials, etc, as much as anything to allow me to gauge their response (thus measure their egos and characters).

There is one thing that annoys me more than the whole first name thing, and that is when I am out with my wife (dinner, business, whatever) and younger folks address us as "YOU GUYS". My wife has never been, and never will be, a GUY. Haven't figured out an appropriate come-back yet, but I will eventually.