Why I sometimes loose my temper

[reerc]

Originally posted by godlessgael:
three deep breaths (or beers) and let it slide man, let it slide.

Got's to go with godlessgael on this one, buddy. Life (and eternity - if you are of the belief) is too short to be angry with someone over a missed utility bill. One of my favorite quotes (that I made up myself) is "People are more important than things." and your sweet wife - and the life you have/and will share - is more important than this little "thing."

Sure, you aren't happy about this little speed bump today, but in the bigger picture of your relationship, it shouldn't be a deal breaker.

You got a day off work, got to see some sights, do some cruisin' ... see that glass as half-full, man!

 

[Firehouse]

Should have let it ride till Monday. Water in the hot water heater would have held at least luke warm status until then. If you take quick showers.

 

[VAdoublegunner]

Understandable. Probably justifiable. It's the principal.
So, how big is your boat? Liveaboard? Maybe enough room for a weekend's worth of rum, squalor, piracy and sod...err, never mind that last one. Who needs gas when you can live the life of freedom on the high seas!

 

[red14]

Sometimes the old adage applies;

Do you want to be right, or be happy?

 

[BarbC]

I have nine words for you. Out of state safety deposit box and divorce lawyer.

My second marriage works so well because we have separate beds, separate baths, separate checking accounts, separate bill responsibilities, and autopay.

 

[VonFatman]

Good luck CL. Hope the weekend is better. Frustrating, but IMHO, not earth changing.

Barb,
The "separate beds" part doesn't sound to appealing!

Bob

 

[RKO]

Gary,
As Barb C says, the solution is AutoPay. A few years ago I got sick and tired of keeping up with monthly bills and set up an automatic debit for everything possible. It helps if you use just one checking account for this, and have
overdraft protection in that account. Then, all you have to do is make enough money to cover
the estimated total monthly of the monthly bills. Simple, isn't it? It also helps to have another checking account that is solely yours, and accessible only by you that you can use for the necessities, ie. walkin around money, liquor store purchases, and of course gun acquisition.

RKO

Originally posted by CAJUNLAWYER:
Wife goes to Destin with her mother for a long weekend. I get up this morning and the stove won't light. Gas is shut off

Call wife and she says she paid it-I said the gas is still off-tie goes to the gas company. Went through the stack of trash she calls her "filing" and find where she paid everything BUT the gas bill

Drive 15 miles to the gas company (by now it's 7:45 and I have to wait till they open at 8:15). Pay a $113 bill. They tell me they have to charge an additional $25 re-connect fee an additional $50 deposit and they'll be out Monday to re-connect!!!!!! Cost me ANOTHER $45 to get it done sometime today

Then she drops the bomb "SOmeone has to be home when the service guy gets there"

There goes work-thank goodness I don't have anything scheduled.
So I've just blown $120 in needless fees-have had to drive 30 miles round trip am going to miss a day at the office and I still haven't had my coffee yet!!!
And you know what the wife says???????
"I don't know why you are so mad-I told you I would pay you back" (She gets her money from the same place the government gets theirs-out of my pocket).
So I am waiting for the gas guy to come and the cold hard realization has just hit-that by the time she gets home Sunday night somehow this is all gonna be MY fault because I ruined her weekend by calling her and waking up the house this morning.

And they wonder why we die first......could it be because we WANT to?????

 

[Engineer1911]

Your gas connect bill was less than my last trip to the lawyer. But I feel your pain of a cold shower.

 

[gregintenn]

CajunLawyer and Rburg, You guys sure make me laugh! Thanks.

 

[Bucco]

What he said....It will be your fault, come Monday, though. I just can't believe that most of you say to shrug it off.....there should be some retribution. It's in the rules!

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Originally posted by Bucco:
What he said....It will be your fault, come Monday, though. I just can't believe that most of you say to shrug it off.....there should be some retribution. It's in the rules!

There is retribution-I cooked a rib eye on the hibachi last night and listened to the LSU game and had a couple (OK a six pack) of Abita's-she took her mother anf aunt shopping.
Today, I'm enjoying a nice cup o joe in a quiet house and playing in a poker tournament this afternoon-she has to take mom and aunt to a party and in general be the handmaiden to her mother and aunt.
Tommorrow I'm gonna putter around in my shed, listen to the LSU game and in general screw off for the day . She has to drive 8 hours back from Destin with her mother.
When you think about it, it was worth the $120 not to have to go with her

 

[Bucco]

"Putter around in the shed"? Putter around in the shed. Somehow, I had you figgered for a little more retribution than that. Yeah, that should teach her a lesson. Putter around in the shed...C'mon, man.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Originally posted by Bucco:
"Putter around in the shed"? Putter around in the shed. Somehow, I had you figgered for a little more retribution than that. Yeah, that should teach her a lesson. Putter around in the shed...C'mon, man.

Outward it may seem to be simple and uninspiring-but I'm one of those persons who can be perfectly content not being around anyone and not having to talk to anybody for days-My wife & kids call me "the Hermit". When you do as much talking and interacting as I do during the week, solitude is really a much appreciated gift. Plus I expect that I'll be too hung over from tonight to really want to do much anyway except putter around and give thanks that I am not driving home from Destin with my wife & MIL after 3 days "of fun".

What else do you suggest??? It happened, I enjoyed a very healthy rage-as it should be enjoyed ALONE- I vented-and That's that.
Next.

 

[feralmerril]

I spent the majority of my life single. Got married again 5 years ago. Probley the biggest think is my wife talking away while I am doing my thing and getting upset when I dont answer. I am starting to get used to grunting at intervals.
On the bill thing, I never had a problem doing it myself years ago, but now I turned that department over to her. She is much younger than me and I want her to get used to it as she could be a widow for 30 years if you go by the statistics. She does well.

 

[Bucco]

Originally posted by CAJUNLAWYER:

Originally posted by Bucco:
"Putter around in the shed"? Putter around in the shed. Somehow, I had you figgered for a little more retribution than that. Yeah, that should teach her a lesson. Putter around in the shed...C'mon, man.

Outward it may seem to be simple and uninspiring-but I'm one of those persons who can be perfectly content not being around anyone and not having to talk to anybody for days-My wife & kids call me "the Hermit". When you do as much talking and interacting as I do during the week, solitude is really a much appreciated gift. Plus I expect that I'll be too hung over from tonight to really want to do much anyway except putter around and give thanks that I am not driving home from Destin with my wife & MIL after 3 days "of fun".

What else do you suggest??? It happened, I enjoyed a very healthy rage-as it should be enjoyed ALONE- I vented-and That's that.
Next.

I was just funnin with ya. We're all in the same boat. I like putterin around in the shed too, and I get it about being alone sometimes. I do some outside sales and sometimes you just have to shut 'er down.

 

[S42N8]

OK, lemme see here....

Plus I expect that I'll be too hung over from tonight to really do much anyway except putter around and give thanks that I am not driving home from Destin with my wife & MIL after 3 days "of fun".

What else do you suggest??? It happened, I enjoyed a very healthy rage-as it should be enjoyed ALONE- I vented-and That's that.

Now, had I spent three days w/(ex)wife and the(ex)MIL in Destin or anywhere else, the vented rage would have far outstripped $233. (Hell, the alcohol consumed would have been more than $233!) Additionally, the drive to/from the gas Co. would *still* have been better than three days of "fun".

As I see it, you're ahead. Enjoy the puttering, but don't play with any sickly pigs from Mexico.

 

[sammi357]

As much as I can commiserate with the inconvenience and the $$ lost...

sorry, but I have to be the lonely voice of dissent here:

Nix on the auto pay: NEVER authorize ANYONE to take ANYTHING out of your bank accounts. I have heard and seen too many horror stories.

You CAN set up a bill pay from your own account and pay them when YOU want to pay them...it's not automatic, it's initiated by YOU...you go into the account and tell it when to pay and how much after you've set up the accounts.

Once the account is set up, the actual transaction can take place faster as an electronic fund transfer than the process of writing checks, mail time, etc. Consult your banking institution. My old bank charged five bucks a month, but we found another bank that gave us free online bill pay. It's worth it's weight! Very convenient. We set up the accounts and it's point and click.

The other advantage is that once you set up the payments, you can tell at a glance what's 'on the list' and address them immediately. If you see something that you don't have the bill right in front of you, it will alert you that there's something missing.

If you don't already have it, get Quicken or Money or some program for helping keep track of your money. Even if all you do is reconcile your bank account with it, (which is a snap) it's a great way to keep track of where you're money's going. Need to look back and see when the power bill was last paid? the check register is right there, and can be sorted by Payee, to make it easy for you to check.


And, Bill paying is not the responsibility of ONE or the OTHER spouse, bills and budgeting need to be addressed as a team. If you're not sitting with the wife and going through them, then you've abdicated all responsibility to her, and that's not fair. Nor does this error make it any more fair for you to have to do them alone. Two sets of eyes on those bills/statements may have caught the error.

which brings me to the last point... WHO in the world gets shut off for ONE missed payment? I'd still be at the gas co office bright and early Monday am, and crawling up...I mean, having a quiet, intelligent conversation with those in charge and questioning why this happened if it was a first offense and why they didn't call you first? Here, one at least gets the courtesy of a hang tag on the doorknob if they don't pay, and it gives XX amount of days to bring it current before it's cut off. It may not help, but you might get the reconnection fee reimbursed. Point out the fact that this is the first time it's happened in how many years, was an oversight, has immediately been taken care of, and in this economy... Suck up. it's worth a try.

 

[feldspar13]

Sammi well said

 

[reerc]

Originally posted by sammi357:
which brings me to the last point... WHO in the world gets shut off for ONE missed payment? I'd still be at the gas co office bright and early Monday am, and crawling up...I mean, having a quiet, intelligent conversation with those in charge and questioning why this happened if it was a first offense and why they didn't call you first? Here, one at least gets the courtesy of a hang tag on the doorknob if they don't pay, and it gives XX amount of days to bring it current before it's cut off. It may not help, but you might get the reconnection fee reimbursed. Point out the fact that this is the first time it's happened in how many years, was an oversight, has immediately been taken care of, and in this economy... Suck up. it's worth a try.

Yeah, that part kind a had me scratchin' my pea brain too. Utilities don't get shut right down for missing a payment around here, even by lowlifes like me - I would assume they shouldn't especially by Grand Poobah pillars of society like you!

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Originally posted by S42N8:
but don't play with any sickly pigs from Mexico.

Ok.................

And Bradley, I dont know-recrds show I was only two weeks behind - whiskey tango foxtrot??? Anyway it's over
BUT I got to look into those sickly pigs from Mexico