Lots of good stuff to do in Yellowstone.
Be sure to leave some treats out for the bears. People don't feed 'em from the car windows like they used to.
If you see buffalo, stop and leave your car in the middle of the road. Folks will thank you for letting them know the right place to stop. And bison love to be petted. Put your kids on their back. They love that.
One of the nicest treats is putting a worm on a hook and fishing the Gold Medal waters, then getting up a nice big fire and frying up some trout for lunch.
If you want to hike around a bit, you'll need a good stick. Cut down a young sapling and strip all the branches off for a sturdy support. You may need to try several to get a good one.
Sometimes the hiking trails are built with lots of switchbacks. These are time-consuming and annoying unless you're a pansy. Real he-men cut across and walk straight up the mountain. And don't weigh yourself down with lots of gear or water. You'll be down in plenty of time.
Some of these areas are pretty far from a bathroom. Dig a big hole if you need it, and wipe your butt with leaves. I think the saying is "leaves of three is good for me" or something like that.
If you get there at the right time of year, you can see the deer turn into elk. It's quite a treat. If you're at the wrong time of year, the deer and elk are all shaggy. It's because the park employees in charge of grooming them are unionized, and they all take their vacation that time of year.
If you see a Ranger, be sure to show him your gun. These people are outdoorsy and will love to chat with you about stopping power, the Second Amendment and how stupid most government workers are.
The Park Rangers are advising hikers in Yellowstone to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away.
Keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.
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