Use what you are comfortable with and what you shoot accurately. I use a 686+ revolver loaded with .38 specials for home defense, and I carry a j-frame loaded with .38's as well.
The Internet is full of opinions backed up by ballistics gel tests. Bigger is better. Penetration is king. Velocity rules. Heavier bullets are a must. If I am ever attached by a ballistics gel monster I'll know with confidence which gun to reach for.
Stopping power. Right. There is no magic bullet for handguns. If one existed, we would all be carrying them. It's that simple.
I always love the "outdated" arguments. What is obsolete about velocity and bullet weight once it leaves the barrel?
As for reloads, well, if you empty all six rounds, chances are the fight is over. There's always a risk that you may need more than six rounds. Small, but yes, it's there. So I guess that rules out sub-compact semi's that only carry five or six rounds in the mag. There's also a risk a semi auto will jam after the first round. What then? Tap 'n rack while the guy is shooting or stabbing you? Right.
Honestly, I wonder what screening shop owners do when they hire gun store clerks. One time a clerk at a gun store was telling me that a certain brand of semi's was lousy. I asked him why, and he said they had a "bad rep." Okay, thanks for that circular proof. Curious, I then asked what to look for in a "good semi-auto." He paused for a second, furrowed his brow, and then mumbled, "Well, a good extractor is a must." Okay, I thought, gotcha, good extractor. I spared him the embarrassment of showing me the difference between a good extractor and a bad extractor from among the many guns the shop had for sale.
Revolvers will be around as long as guns use powder, and many a bad guy will be pushing up daisies as a result.
And, God forbid you should ever have to use your revolver to defend yourself, at least find satisfaction in the offense that the bad guy shall take from being stopped by an obsolete weapon with lousy stopping power.