venomballistics
Member
I set my DVR to record "The biggest loser"...
It recorded all the Vikings games
It recorded all the Vikings games
Jokes about your neighboring states.......
- Thread starter policerevolvercollector
- Start date
rog8732
US Veteran
Sooo...nobody wants to claim D.C. as their neighbor huh? Well,it could be because 99 percent of Washington, DC officials, give all the rest of them a bad name.
[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]A young man was pulled over by the Louisiana state police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for son? You going to a fahr?. Let me see your license, boy."
The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of his car was full of large knives.
The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?"
The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler."
The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"
The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.
Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bob was drinking it up with Homer T. Ratcliff. He soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. Suddenly Billy Bob spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Homer T. Ratcliff. When Homer got on the phone Billy Bob said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on 442. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!!"
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The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of his car was full of large knives.
The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?"
The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler."
The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"
The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.
Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bob was drinking it up with Homer T. Ratcliff. He soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. Suddenly Billy Bob spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Homer T. Ratcliff. When Homer got on the phone Billy Bob said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on 442. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!!"
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Maybe not a joke, but I sure found it funny. Years ago. comedian David Steinbrenner made a joke about New England accents, and described it as being the only place in the world that you you could die from this particular malady. This ia what happened: I was a traveling musician, & the equipment trailer got a flat at high speed on the highway. It was touch & go, but we got off the highway & into a small New Hampshire town. This was at 3:00 AM. We pulled into a convenience store parking lot to try & figure out what to do. A town constable soon drove by & checked us out, as there were nine of us & we were definitely a colorful bunch. He came back, got out of his car, & walked over to talk to us. He asked us what was going on, & in our best Texas accents(Which I'm sure were just as alien to him as his was to us!)we described the high speed flat to him. He replied(& I quote)"Ayup.I bet you bout had a hat attack when she blew!" I almost fell out, trying to keep from laughing.
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Double-O-Dave
US Veteran
A Texas farmer was plowing his fields when a car traveling too fast hit the "Dead Man's Curve" that bordered his fields. The car left the road, and upon impact, rolled several times before finally landing on the driver's side. The farmer ran to the car to try to offer assistance. As he approached the car he noticed the car had Louisiana license plate, and a small metal plate with a Christian cross and the word "Clergy" on it. "Are you okay in there?" asked the farmer. "Yes, I'm fine, thankfully, I ride with Jesus!" said the minister. "Well, you better let him out and let him walk. The way you Cajuns drive you're gonna' kill him again", said the farmer.
Regards,
Dave
Regards,
Dave
pineappleshooter
US Veteran
Did you see on the news about the horrible fire at the WV Governor's Mansion? Yep, burned all the way down to the axles!
shouldazagged
Absent Comrade
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