hannstv
Member
Heck yes I had two brothers that were bigger than me. They taught me how to fight and fight to win. And I loved them dearly.
Were you bullied as a Child or Adult.
- Thread starter carpriver
- Start date
zzzippper
Member
Hit the nail on the head. This is why I say it is so easy to isolate someone socially. I can see why that would be tougher on a kid than an adult. If someone has been pushed to suicide by cyber-bullying it must have been pretty extreme.
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I was a very small kid with a big mouth. If I was about to take another beating I took it but also gave it back verbally and with hands and feet. My parents put my sister and I thru karate lessons in junior high but there were always others who ganged up on you or were just better fighters.
I was 117 lbs at 6 feet tall when I joined the Navy, had to get a weight weaver to get in. By the time I went to BUDS I was 135 lbs and the strongest I have ever been. I think you carry yourself differently because none of the goofballs back home ever started anything again. In my adult life I have only had a couple confrontations that involved contact and never bullying.
Life is odd sometimes, I stayed at about 135 lbs until I went to train with the Aussies and we ate way more than needed. I went and stayed at 150 lbs for years until I transferred to Submarines and started eating 4 good meals a day with lots of sleep. Gained 30 lbs on my first patrol.
I was 117 lbs at 6 feet tall when I joined the Navy, had to get a weight weaver to get in. By the time I went to BUDS I was 135 lbs and the strongest I have ever been. I think you carry yourself differently because none of the goofballs back home ever started anything again. In my adult life I have only had a couple confrontations that involved contact and never bullying.
Life is odd sometimes, I stayed at about 135 lbs until I went to train with the Aussies and we ate way more than needed. I went and stayed at 150 lbs for years until I transferred to Submarines and started eating 4 good meals a day with lots of sleep. Gained 30 lbs on my first patrol.
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Only 3 times that I considered serious enough to take action.
1. In high school I was small. I had a lot of friends but you know how it is. There is always some one looking for somebody smaller and presumably weaker that will not fight back. I had a kid that would give me the business every day. I'll forgo most of the details but I said something back to him one time and he swung a long slow looping right at me. I stepped into it and grabbed his right arm with my left and pinned it to my body. Then I hit him in the throat with a right that came from the shoulder and had plenty of stank on it.
He didn't come to school the next day and I was a little worried. but the next time I saw him he apologized and said he wouldn't bother me any more. And he didn't.
2. I was in FMF school on Camp Del Mar at Camp Pendleton California. There was a guy in my barracks that singled me out and really gave me a hard time both verbally and physically. He was a pretty big guy and also I didn't want to get into trouble for fighting. But mostly I didn't want to get my butt tore up. I had just resigned myself to it thinking that this was a very temporary billit and I'd be away from him in a few weeks.
He caught me as we were coming out the showers one day. He popped me on my wet bare bee-hind with his wet towel. Cut a 2 inch gash in the left cheek. I wrapped my towel around me and limped to my locker and bunk, blood running down my left leg. He followed me laughing and having a good time. Then he slapped me in the back of the head. Hard. Too dadburnn hard! I went red with rage and fury at all the stuff I'd take from this guy. Time to get him off my back.
I opened my locker. There are two drawers in the bottom of the locker. The bottom drawer is the deepest and I pulled it out and dumped out my socks and skivvies and as I rose to my feed I turned to face him and I straightened out my right arm and put the back end of that drawer in his face.
Later guys I didn't even know were coming up to me and saying, "way to go" and "good for you" and stuff like that. This guy never spoke another word to me but he would occasionally shoot me some pretty hard looks.
3. The third time is a little bit different situation. It was my company commander in Navy Boot Camp. He's the equivalent to the Drill Instructor (DI) In Marine Corps boot camp. He has a sea-going rate. He was a first class signalman and hated shore duty. The system then was that you push 3 companies of boots then back to your own duty. He had already pushed his 3 but was forced to push a 4th, I was lucky enough to be in that one.
So he was already in bad sort but he also hated little guys. In our company there were 3 more besides me and he told us right up front in plain language that we 4 were not going to make it. He was going to push us until we made a run for it or committed suicide. He really said that.
I won't bother you with the details. If you were ever in any boot camp before they all went soft then you can use your imagination. He was diabolical. He was creative. And he was dedicated.
We all finished boot camp with honors and I even set a new record in the recruit olympics that cycle. He had put me on the 20' rope climb cause he though I couldn't hack it. I was in such a state of fear at failing that I climbed the top and slapped the bell and let go. I fell 20 feet all the way back to the mat. When I woke up they said I had the new record. He looked at me and shook his head and walked off.
At graduation he pulled me aside and told me that I would never make it in the navy or in civilian life. I told him that I looked forward to seeing him on the street sometime. He wasn't ready for that and gave me a surprise and funny look.
I know that his job was to push us and weed out the misfits and weakling and those not mentally suited to military life but he was way and gone beyond that. He told me so over and over. I never did get the chance to "defend myself" against that guy but I spent many a night praying for the opportunity.
Nobody picks on me anymore. everyone knows I go around packed these days.
It's like the saying goes NEVER MESS WITH AN OLD MAN. IF HE'S TOO OLD TO FIGHT HE'LL JUST SHOOT YOU. Who ever said that was talkin' about me...... 
1. In high school I was small. I had a lot of friends but you know how it is. There is always some one looking for somebody smaller and presumably weaker that will not fight back. I had a kid that would give me the business every day. I'll forgo most of the details but I said something back to him one time and he swung a long slow looping right at me. I stepped into it and grabbed his right arm with my left and pinned it to my body. Then I hit him in the throat with a right that came from the shoulder and had plenty of stank on it.
He didn't come to school the next day and I was a little worried. but the next time I saw him he apologized and said he wouldn't bother me any more. And he didn't.
2. I was in FMF school on Camp Del Mar at Camp Pendleton California. There was a guy in my barracks that singled me out and really gave me a hard time both verbally and physically. He was a pretty big guy and also I didn't want to get into trouble for fighting. But mostly I didn't want to get my butt tore up. I had just resigned myself to it thinking that this was a very temporary billit and I'd be away from him in a few weeks.
He caught me as we were coming out the showers one day. He popped me on my wet bare bee-hind with his wet towel. Cut a 2 inch gash in the left cheek. I wrapped my towel around me and limped to my locker and bunk, blood running down my left leg. He followed me laughing and having a good time. Then he slapped me in the back of the head. Hard. Too dadburnn hard! I went red with rage and fury at all the stuff I'd take from this guy. Time to get him off my back.
I opened my locker. There are two drawers in the bottom of the locker. The bottom drawer is the deepest and I pulled it out and dumped out my socks and skivvies and as I rose to my feed I turned to face him and I straightened out my right arm and put the back end of that drawer in his face.
Later guys I didn't even know were coming up to me and saying, "way to go" and "good for you" and stuff like that. This guy never spoke another word to me but he would occasionally shoot me some pretty hard looks.
3. The third time is a little bit different situation. It was my company commander in Navy Boot Camp. He's the equivalent to the Drill Instructor (DI) In Marine Corps boot camp. He has a sea-going rate. He was a first class signalman and hated shore duty. The system then was that you push 3 companies of boots then back to your own duty. He had already pushed his 3 but was forced to push a 4th, I was lucky enough to be in that one.
So he was already in bad sort but he also hated little guys. In our company there were 3 more besides me and he told us right up front in plain language that we 4 were not going to make it. He was going to push us until we made a run for it or committed suicide. He really said that.
I won't bother you with the details. If you were ever in any boot camp before they all went soft then you can use your imagination. He was diabolical. He was creative. And he was dedicated.
We all finished boot camp with honors and I even set a new record in the recruit olympics that cycle. He had put me on the 20' rope climb cause he though I couldn't hack it. I was in such a state of fear at failing that I climbed the top and slapped the bell and let go. I fell 20 feet all the way back to the mat. When I woke up they said I had the new record. He looked at me and shook his head and walked off.
At graduation he pulled me aside and told me that I would never make it in the navy or in civilian life. I told him that I looked forward to seeing him on the street sometime. He wasn't ready for that and gave me a surprise and funny look.
I know that his job was to push us and weed out the misfits and weakling and those not mentally suited to military life but he was way and gone beyond that. He told me so over and over. I never did get the chance to "defend myself" against that guy but I spent many a night praying for the opportunity.
Nobody picks on me anymore. everyone knows I go around packed these days.
It's like the saying goes NEVER MESS WITH AN OLD MAN. IF HE'S TOO OLD TO FIGHT HE'LL JUST SHOOT YOU. Who ever said that was talkin' about me...... UncaGrunny
US Veteran
There's a recurring theme in many news stories that I've come to recognize as what I call "when rude meets crazy, rude loses."
They start in many ways, but almost always hit the central note of the rude (or bullying, or antisocial, or thuggish, or just stupidly mean) person pushing the other person past the brink of their endurance & into the crazy mode. It invariably ends badly, often fatally, for the rude person, and the 'crazy' person usually ends up in deep trouble.
"Bully gets his comeuppance" stories do seem to follow this thread, both real and in books/movies.
Temporary 'insanity' by way of simply being unable to endure some ******* any further, in my book, is not insanity but rather is a perfectly understandable and socially-valuable reaction, aimed at protecting society, delivering justice, and sometimes improving the gene pool. It could well be instinctive.
They start in many ways, but almost always hit the central note of the rude (or bullying, or antisocial, or thuggish, or just stupidly mean) person pushing the other person past the brink of their endurance & into the crazy mode. It invariably ends badly, often fatally, for the rude person, and the 'crazy' person usually ends up in deep trouble.
"Bully gets his comeuppance" stories do seem to follow this thread, both real and in books/movies.
Temporary 'insanity' by way of simply being unable to endure some ******* any further, in my book, is not insanity but rather is a perfectly understandable and socially-valuable reaction, aimed at protecting society, delivering justice, and sometimes improving the gene pool. It could well be instinctive.
the ringo kid
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Somehow this cartoon fits in this thread.
Badkarma 1
US Veteran
Pretty much like everybody else I was a short, skinny kid and got picked on regularly. And at some point I popped!
While I could regale ya with happened when and where, lets just say there's more than a few former tormentors who are now looking over their shoulders, one of whom that's still missing his prosthetic leg!
Dale
While I could regale ya with happened when and where, lets just say there's more than a few former tormentors who are now looking over their shoulders, one of whom that's still missing his prosthetic leg!
Dale
meaneyedcatz
Member
People tried on me 4 or 5 times.
Let me preface this by saying my dad always told us if we started a fight we deserved to get our a** kicked. But if we were defending ourselves them we better knock the Sh** out of them, and if we are defending ourselves we will never be in trouble.
Each time someone tried after I had enough then it was on. Sometimes I dotted their eye and sometimes it was a draw.
I'm preaching to the choir here but as you know coward maggots (bullies) always pick a target that's smaller than themselves. A dose of their own medicine is the only thing they understand.
Saying pretty please never works.
So, what I told my girls was the same thing. Don't start it but always finish it.
Let me preface this by saying my dad always told us if we started a fight we deserved to get our a** kicked. But if we were defending ourselves them we better knock the Sh** out of them, and if we are defending ourselves we will never be in trouble.
Each time someone tried after I had enough then it was on. Sometimes I dotted their eye and sometimes it was a draw.
I'm preaching to the choir here but as you know coward maggots (bullies) always pick a target that's smaller than themselves. A dose of their own medicine is the only thing they understand.
Saying pretty please never works.
So, what I told my girls was the same thing. Don't start it but always finish it.
I was a retiree working a part-time job for a couple of bucks and fighting boredom. Ron was an assistant operations manager that presented the image of being an expert on any store subject, but really knew very little if you carefully listened to what he was saying. I listened to one of his 5 minute explanations that didn't answer a customer's simple question and knew I was in tall cotton.
Two of us clerks were standing talking on the store floor one night and Ron comes up and starts in on us not doing our job, not helping customers, not getting stock up, and telling us all about his retail management expertise. I looked him right in the eyes and said, "What specifically do you want done?" He would not answer the question and walked off.
An hour later I was in the break room eating my lunch. There are 5 people in the room counting Ron. Ron starts his "expert speech" on a women who is afraid of him. Ron paused for a breath, and I said, "Ron you are a verbal bully that tries to intimidate everyone in this store with your immense expertise on every subject. I know that you are not an expert on ceiling fans because you couldn't answer my customer's question. You were rude and never gave me a chance to answer the customer's question. I don't need this job unlike almost everyone else in this store. This is the break room. Please leave us alone." Shocked silence, Ron stood up and walked out of the room.
We had one more similar conversation, but it was in front of a customer. Again, Ron abruptly walked off with an angry look this time. My customer smiled, looked at me, and said, "You are right about Ron. He hasn't answered one of my questions yet with anything that makes sense. I'll do what you said because it will work."
For the next two years, our only conversation was simple questions about the completion of tasks in my department. I gave an honest, polite answer that satisfied Ron. I didn't get any more expert or years of experience lectures. Tact and diplomacy was always my strong suit.
I only had a couple of minor fights going through school with bullies, but got intellectual revenge against more than one arrogant person determined to make my life uncomfortable. Public failure can be really sweet to behold.
Two of us clerks were standing talking on the store floor one night and Ron comes up and starts in on us not doing our job, not helping customers, not getting stock up, and telling us all about his retail management expertise. I looked him right in the eyes and said, "What specifically do you want done?" He would not answer the question and walked off.
An hour later I was in the break room eating my lunch. There are 5 people in the room counting Ron. Ron starts his "expert speech" on a women who is afraid of him. Ron paused for a breath, and I said, "Ron you are a verbal bully that tries to intimidate everyone in this store with your immense expertise on every subject. I know that you are not an expert on ceiling fans because you couldn't answer my customer's question. You were rude and never gave me a chance to answer the customer's question. I don't need this job unlike almost everyone else in this store. This is the break room. Please leave us alone." Shocked silence, Ron stood up and walked out of the room.
We had one more similar conversation, but it was in front of a customer. Again, Ron abruptly walked off with an angry look this time. My customer smiled, looked at me, and said, "You are right about Ron. He hasn't answered one of my questions yet with anything that makes sense. I'll do what you said because it will work."
For the next two years, our only conversation was simple questions about the completion of tasks in my department. I gave an honest, polite answer that satisfied Ron. I didn't get any more expert or years of experience lectures. Tact and diplomacy was always my strong suit.
I only had a couple of minor fights going through school with bullies, but got intellectual revenge against more than one arrogant person determined to make my life uncomfortable. Public failure can be really sweet to behold.
Rick_A
Member
I'm a closet nerd now. Nobody would confuse me for a man of science these days. After high school I abandoned intellectual pursuits and focused on guns and motorcycles instead
wildenout
Member
You know? I remember getting bullied a little bit in 6th grade by a kid named Clayton. He was a tall kid and was kind of a jerk anywho. I remember not a lot of kids liked him, and eventually he moved to Texas. I had friends that stretched up and down the social ladder though, and bullying never really got to me because I did have friends. I also remember being the brunt end of a lot of flack in Band class to from my fellow drummers, but yeah. Bullying never really bothered me!
I posted a little bit about this in the last bullying thread, but it was something that ended when school ended. I had my friends, a handful of which are still my good buddies today!
I posted a little bit about this in the last bullying thread, but it was something that ended when school ended. I had my friends, a handful of which are still my good buddies today!
model70hunter
Member
Bullies worked without fear in the schools of the 50's and 60's. I was attacked by a bully 1st day in 1st grade. It was a long fight, all fists. I thought it was a draw. He told me I kicked his rear.
I was a farm kid that had a little extra belly. Farm chores had it burned off by the 6th grade. I was not the smallest guy of my age group, perhaps one of the biggest. The problem was older punks who were bullies.
The City's Chief Patrolman had 2 boys, both were several years older than me. They worked as a team. They were always fighting someone, as a team they could whip older guys. By the 5th grade I had fought many older guys. I never lost a fight. The brothers finally got around to picking on me. One talked to me and when his brother was behind me he shoved me head over heels. I did not let them repeat and they tried.
My Dad had a good day job but worked Friday night and Saturday to close for a friend that owned a gun shop. Mom would keep the car on Saturdays and we would go wait for Dad at closing time. Friday and Saturday night was interesting, all the GI's from the base were dropped off and would walk by drinking and yakkin. Shops were open and it beat staying home watching black and white TV.
The brothers saw me in the back seat of the car and came up to talk. They were smooth and I did not trust them. I'd seen them smooth talk someone and sucker punch them. They kept wanting me to go do some town kid stuff. I did not want to go, the brazen lads then asked my Mom if I could go, she said yes. Dang, trapped.
We walked down the side walk, turned a corner and headed towards the movie theater. About 1/2 way there they suddenly remembered something in the alley they wanted to show me. I was prepared, one threw a sucker punch, I stepped up and punched the smooth talker in the face, spun and hit the 2nd brother before he could throw another punch. As I would in every fight later I went ballistic, I whipped them all the way down the alley, they broke and ran, one of them tore my shirt pulling me off his brother. I had a slight bloody nose. I never felt the punches they threw.
When I got back to the car Mom looked me over and never said anything. I really expected to catch flack over the shirt, but Mom knew those boys and what they did. I always wondered if she wanted me to extract revenge for them pushing me over, breaking my clip board and tearing my coat.
My Mom was a farm girl, she was one of 10 kids that survived. She was the oldest of the 2nd 1/2 of the kids. I was a Jock, but I did not allow bullies to pick on folks. Cheerleaders always dated guys like me. Once I told Mom I was taking out a specific cheerleader. Mom snapped and told me under no circumstances was I dating that girl. I asked for an explanation, this girls Mom had ridden the same bus with my Mom and her younger siblings. The bus dropped them off and they had several miles to finish on foot. The cheerleaders Mom was constantly picking on Mom's siblings and Mom told her to quit. One day the bully girl went too far and punched one of Mom's little sisters. Mom beat her all the way to the girls house. And obviously held a grudge for years.
When I was in the 8th grade a senior in HS took a disliking to a friend. Some times when Dad was working out of town I had to walk to the grocery store and carry the sacks home. This senior sack boy was about my size, as I was leaving the store he hit me full tilt and shoved me out the door, the sacks tore, groceries went all over the sidewalk. He told me to get out and stay out. An old man who worked there brought out sacks and helped bag it all up. Mom knew the owner very well. She called him, he fired the bully. The store owner called the bullies Dad who beat the bully severely and took his boy to the Navy recruiter and said he is yours when he graduates. Yep, parents and a judge could do that to you once upon a time. He was with his girlfriend a few days later, stopped and jumped out. I was carrying groceries again. I threw them in the ditch and turned to him. I was ready, I think he expected me to run or cry. He stopped and told how he was going to whup me but left after his girl said come on.
My senior year all the guys at the young guys gas station hangout were all excited that Ole Donnie was out of the Navy and was coming by there after dinner with his folks. I was waiting on him, he walked in the door, everyone was wanting to know whatever about women in foreign ports. I stepped in front of him, he had the biggest smile, I towered over him, I said well fella do you remember me? I'm the little 8th grade boy you tried to pick on, now it's your turn. He turned and sprinted to his car, spun gravel leaving. Guys were asking me what I said to him, I said just Hi. He worked at the auto parts store until dementia got him. He would jump over the counter when I walked in or go to the back room or ignore me until someone else assisted. Finally he was alone and had to help one day, it was all yes sir, I said thanks and it was over he would wait on me after that but was very polite.
I was a farm kid that had a little extra belly. Farm chores had it burned off by the 6th grade. I was not the smallest guy of my age group, perhaps one of the biggest. The problem was older punks who were bullies.
The City's Chief Patrolman had 2 boys, both were several years older than me. They worked as a team. They were always fighting someone, as a team they could whip older guys. By the 5th grade I had fought many older guys. I never lost a fight. The brothers finally got around to picking on me. One talked to me and when his brother was behind me he shoved me head over heels. I did not let them repeat and they tried.
My Dad had a good day job but worked Friday night and Saturday to close for a friend that owned a gun shop. Mom would keep the car on Saturdays and we would go wait for Dad at closing time. Friday and Saturday night was interesting, all the GI's from the base were dropped off and would walk by drinking and yakkin. Shops were open and it beat staying home watching black and white TV.
The brothers saw me in the back seat of the car and came up to talk. They were smooth and I did not trust them. I'd seen them smooth talk someone and sucker punch them. They kept wanting me to go do some town kid stuff. I did not want to go, the brazen lads then asked my Mom if I could go, she said yes. Dang, trapped.
We walked down the side walk, turned a corner and headed towards the movie theater. About 1/2 way there they suddenly remembered something in the alley they wanted to show me. I was prepared, one threw a sucker punch, I stepped up and punched the smooth talker in the face, spun and hit the 2nd brother before he could throw another punch. As I would in every fight later I went ballistic, I whipped them all the way down the alley, they broke and ran, one of them tore my shirt pulling me off his brother. I had a slight bloody nose. I never felt the punches they threw.
When I got back to the car Mom looked me over and never said anything. I really expected to catch flack over the shirt, but Mom knew those boys and what they did. I always wondered if she wanted me to extract revenge for them pushing me over, breaking my clip board and tearing my coat.
My Mom was a farm girl, she was one of 10 kids that survived. She was the oldest of the 2nd 1/2 of the kids. I was a Jock, but I did not allow bullies to pick on folks. Cheerleaders always dated guys like me. Once I told Mom I was taking out a specific cheerleader. Mom snapped and told me under no circumstances was I dating that girl. I asked for an explanation, this girls Mom had ridden the same bus with my Mom and her younger siblings. The bus dropped them off and they had several miles to finish on foot. The cheerleaders Mom was constantly picking on Mom's siblings and Mom told her to quit. One day the bully girl went too far and punched one of Mom's little sisters. Mom beat her all the way to the girls house. And obviously held a grudge for years.
When I was in the 8th grade a senior in HS took a disliking to a friend. Some times when Dad was working out of town I had to walk to the grocery store and carry the sacks home. This senior sack boy was about my size, as I was leaving the store he hit me full tilt and shoved me out the door, the sacks tore, groceries went all over the sidewalk. He told me to get out and stay out. An old man who worked there brought out sacks and helped bag it all up. Mom knew the owner very well. She called him, he fired the bully. The store owner called the bullies Dad who beat the bully severely and took his boy to the Navy recruiter and said he is yours when he graduates. Yep, parents and a judge could do that to you once upon a time. He was with his girlfriend a few days later, stopped and jumped out. I was carrying groceries again. I threw them in the ditch and turned to him. I was ready, I think he expected me to run or cry. He stopped and told how he was going to whup me but left after his girl said come on.
My senior year all the guys at the young guys gas station hangout were all excited that Ole Donnie was out of the Navy and was coming by there after dinner with his folks. I was waiting on him, he walked in the door, everyone was wanting to know whatever about women in foreign ports. I stepped in front of him, he had the biggest smile, I towered over him, I said well fella do you remember me? I'm the little 8th grade boy you tried to pick on, now it's your turn. He turned and sprinted to his car, spun gravel leaving. Guys were asking me what I said to him, I said just Hi. He worked at the auto parts store until dementia got him. He would jump over the counter when I walked in or go to the back room or ignore me until someone else assisted. Finally he was alone and had to help one day, it was all yes sir, I said thanks and it was over he would wait on me after that but was very polite.
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Rick_A
Member
What bothers me most these days is that no slack is given to those that fight back. I think that goes for most things these days in general. It used to be that the person who started the fight got what they deserved if they got licked. Now instead of hashing things out both get disciplinary action.
Luckily my boy doesn't have to worry about much. Everyone likes him and he considers everyone a friend. The worst he gets is comments about his long hair. Some call him a girl. When he tells people he's growing his hair to help people with cancer most quiet down. I developed a bit of a mean streak due to the way I was treated by others. If he never has to go through that, that'd be fine by me.
One thing I failed to mention is the girls. The popular girls would join the fray; poking fun when they saw their peers doing the same. They really knew how to kick a dog when he was down. By the time I got a little older these same girls sought my attention. I remembered them and they did get not the type of attention they were seeking. Out of anyone they probably affected me the most. I had a general mistrust of women for a long time. As I became an attractive teen, and when being a loner became cool, I began befriending girls and leading them on just to break their spirits later. I fondly remember the few that befriended me when others avoided me like a plague. I grew out of that at stage, but there's no denying that those girls were meaner than any guy out there. They were some ruthless, sharp tongued devils.
One of the girls in high school that I had berated had forgotten all about our little spat and we are still friends to this day.
Luckily my boy doesn't have to worry about much. Everyone likes him and he considers everyone a friend. The worst he gets is comments about his long hair. Some call him a girl. When he tells people he's growing his hair to help people with cancer most quiet down. I developed a bit of a mean streak due to the way I was treated by others. If he never has to go through that, that'd be fine by me.
One thing I failed to mention is the girls. The popular girls would join the fray; poking fun when they saw their peers doing the same. They really knew how to kick a dog when he was down. By the time I got a little older these same girls sought my attention. I remembered them and they did get not the type of attention they were seeking. Out of anyone they probably affected me the most. I had a general mistrust of women for a long time. As I became an attractive teen, and when being a loner became cool, I began befriending girls and leading them on just to break their spirits later. I fondly remember the few that befriended me when others avoided me like a plague. I grew out of that at stage, but there's no denying that those girls were meaner than any guy out there. They were some ruthless, sharp tongued devils.
One of the girls in high school that I had berated had forgotten all about our little spat and we are still friends to this day.
ChattanoogaPhil
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Reading the VERY detailed accounts from those who were bullied, some from many decades past, it seems pretty clear that bullying can be quite significant in the lives of youngsters as well as leave scars that are not quick, or ever to heal.
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1775usmarine
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I had a brain tumor in 93 when I was 7. I have a horseshoe scar and all the time I would have a buzz cut kids would make jokes, but I ignored them.
In middle school this one kid who was about 7in taller then me started running his mouth about my scar went on for about a few weeks. He then started pushing me wanting to start something, so I pushed him up against the locker lifted him as high I could and decked him in the stomach. He started balling a bit but never bothered me again. I also picked up some cool points with the ladies for standing up to him.
I graduated high school in 04 and bullying was never made into a national emergency like it is today. Its like a lot of issues today peoples feelings and the concern for protecting everyone's feelings. Bullying will never end its gone on since the dawn of time. I think people need to talk to someone they trust and get through it then taking their lives over something in my eyes as little as name calling and shoving.
In middle school this one kid who was about 7in taller then me started running his mouth about my scar went on for about a few weeks. He then started pushing me wanting to start something, so I pushed him up against the locker lifted him as high I could and decked him in the stomach. He started balling a bit but never bothered me again. I also picked up some cool points with the ladies for standing up to him.
I graduated high school in 04 and bullying was never made into a national emergency like it is today. Its like a lot of issues today peoples feelings and the concern for protecting everyone's feelings. Bullying will never end its gone on since the dawn of time. I think people need to talk to someone they trust and get through it then taking their lives over something in my eyes as little as name calling and shoving.
hmbiohazard
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in middle school my family moved. i am white and we moved into the city of detroit. needless to say i was the minority in those schools. i had one bully who would torment me daily. one day i snapped. i beat the brakes off this kid. word soon spread around the school and people left me alone when they heard how much i messed that kid up. he ended up with a broken nose, arm, and lost 3 teeth. the best part is the security cameras caught him pushing me and swinging on me. self defense. i took my 5 day out of school vacation (suspension) due to a zero tolerance policy for fights. no one messed with me after that, went on to join the football team and got fairly popular
More on bullies.
Actually there were two kinds of bullies in the 50s and 60s. Not sure about these days but back then most were the kind that actually had a kind of inferiority complex or something. They needed to bully a smaller weaker kid to feel tough. They were fairly easy to discourage.
But...
There was the kind, especially the older kids and young men in the service, that LIKED to fight. They didn't mind a little pain and they liked it when you fought back. You run into one of those and you might have a little bit more of a problem.
Again I'll skip the details but I been there, I done that, and I got the T-shirt.
Actually there were two kinds of bullies in the 50s and 60s. Not sure about these days but back then most were the kind that actually had a kind of inferiority complex or something. They needed to bully a smaller weaker kid to feel tough. They were fairly easy to discourage.
But...
There was the kind, especially the older kids and young men in the service, that LIKED to fight. They didn't mind a little pain and they liked it when you fought back. You run into one of those and you might have a little bit more of a problem.
Again I'll skip the details but I been there, I done that, and I got the T-shirt.
ChattanoogaPhil
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Quite true.
And before anyone tells their 15 y/o kid to go punch that school bully in the nose... remember that a 30 y/o adult in Florida was likely to have been beaten to death by a 17 y/o high school kid if the adult didn't have a gun and killed him first.
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UncaGrunny
US Veteran
This seemed to change while I was in school, but I can't put an exact date on it.
When I was in lower grade school in the late 60's, I can't remember any kid ever getting disciplined for defending themselves in a fight - - any teachers who had to break up a fight always went to the effort to determine who had started it (not difficult - turning in a bully was considered a worthy act still because if they tried for revenge they always got caught), and the innocent party went free.
The guilty party had a date with the principal's paddle, which was notoriously (but untruthfully) rumored to be equipped with 'speed holes.'
Somewhere in the mid-70's the policy changed - - We'd moved a couple times in the same period so I can't say if it was a different-state or different-district thing or a national sea-change - - corporal punishment was retired, and the abidiing policy became "all violence is unacceptable, therefore all involved parties will be punished."
The result?
Bullies had a near no-lose proposition, as they generally had no fear of detention or suspension, and they no longer had to worry about being reported by their victims.
Those bullied lost any chance at innocence; if they didn't defend themselves they got persecuted. if they did, they got the same punishment as the perpetrator.
Reporting a fight you were in became foolish; reporting a fight between others to identify a bully became downright treasonous as it would get the victim punished as well.
End result? The kids quickly realized (even if they didn't know enough to put it in concrete terms) that the concepts of 'justice' and 'benevolent authority' were meaningless in their world, authorities had no interest in guilt or innocence, only in 'order' and their own convenience (which even kids realized were really the same thing), and things went more or less tribal at that point: avoid official notice, and solve it yourself by whatever means necessary.
The corrosive concept is that one that "All violence is unacceptable; there is no justification for it even self-defense. 'Violence never solves anything'."
Clearly incorrect reasoning to anyone who has read history, or dealt with a persistent bully; in general, violence (or the realistic threat or risk of it) is about the only thing that has ever 'solved' anything when dealing with people who are aggressive and unreasonable, but unavoidable.
But "zero tolerance for violence regardless of reason" is still the ruling philosophy of educators. I have my suspicions as to why this is the case even after 40 years of compelling evidence to the contrary, but they might be construed as political.
We're seeing the accumulated and growing results of this well-meaning but wrong-headed wishful thinking in today's society.
dcxplant
Member
In grade school my buddy was being bullied. I went up to the bully, and cold cocked his butt with a right hook. No more bullying.
For my freshman high school year, a great experiment of bussing kids from one neighborhood to another was all the rage.
Every morning and every afternoon on that bus I was beat up.
Fortunately, next year the bussing experiment ceased.
For my freshman high school year, a great experiment of bussing kids from one neighborhood to another was all the rage.
Every morning and every afternoon on that bus I was beat up.
Fortunately, next year the bussing experiment ceased.
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