Why I Don't Talk To People About Concealed Carry

[Arik]

This is a topic that comes up frequently and I thought maybe I could address it from a different perspective and instead of asking if I should tell people talk about why I don't.

In the past 6 months or so there have been two threads started by people that decided to start conversations about guns with people they didn't know and neither conversation ended well.

In one the OP starts a conversation with a salesman in his office who clearly doesn't know a whole lot about guns and at some point in the conversation the salesman asks him "Are you carrying a gun now?" (Because gee no one saw that coming) and when the OP doesn't say "No" fast enough the salesman correctly concludes that the OP is carrying a gun.

In the second the OP starts talking guns with some half drunk person he met in a bar and tells this random stranger that he is armed( yeah, because that couldn't go wrong). The random stranger then proceeds to start a fight and ask the OP if he can borrow his gun to settle the score (Again, did not see that coming).

People I don't know well don't need to know the details of my life; there just isn't any reason for it. My experience has been that the less most people know about me the better off I am. As for friends I've mentioned previously that I've had some really bad experiences that were directly related to telling a "friend" who really wasn't a gun guy that I had a permit. He then proceeded to share my business with a bunch of people I don't know.

If I can keep that kind of hassle out of my life by simply keeping my mouth shut I'm all for it.

There are very few people I'll talk guns with in the real world, most of the time if I want to talk guns I come here. I don't give strangers any reason to assume I might be armed. I don't start conversations about guns at work and if people around me do I don't participate.

I think the problem has to do with how a lot of gun owners perceive guns. I can't explain it but I notice how guns are treated as some sort of a awe inspiring thing. People have to show them off, play with them, polish them never sell them or regret selling, ooh and aaah over them. This I don't get. To me its just a thing. I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases. To me it would be like saying he guys come check out the new socks I bought. Or hey look at this new box of detergent. They are all just things I buy for use

 

[LimaCharlie]

All of our relatives, friends, and neighbors know my wife and I both carry.

 

[jack the toad]

I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases.

+1
I have 2 gun buddies that share an interest in S&W revolvers. We talk about new finds, etc. on a casual basis.
Most of my other gun buddies aren't anymore interested in a newly acquired S&W treasure than if it were a High Point, Jennings, Daisy, etc.
It is good to have someone to talk to with similar interests. One of the reasons I enjoy this forum.

 

[Smoke]

My father, rest his soul, would always tell me , "Son, you are far less interesting than you think you are" , which taught me to be cautious about what I say and to whom.

He also admonished me to...." Keep a brilliant idea to yourself, in the event it isn't."

I have a sign (that only I can see) taped to my desk that says "Never fail to take advantage of a good opportunity to SHUT UP"

 

[Smoke]

This is a topic that I give a lot of thought to and the reason I do is because I've made the mistake. When I first started carrying a gun I joined the NRA and I got the hat and wore it everywhere I went. I found out that it drew unwanted attention as did the NRA stickers on my car.

I also made the mistake of telling people that were friends of mine. One guy dropped me and another proceeded to spread the word to everyone he knew and continued to do so after I asked him not to.

So it's a lesson I've learned the hard way but there's more to it (IMO) than just not telling people that I have a CHP. I've said it before but when it comes to co-workers or acquaintances (not close friends) my personal life stays personal.

My experience has been if you go out of your way to attract attention to yourself you'll usually succeed. I don't discuss politics, I don't discuss religion and I avoid any other controversial topic as much as possible. I don't wear clothing with logos of any kind (except a couple of hats that say Alaska or Estes Park)

Rumor has it that one of our guards was removed from a site because a client employee was offended that he could hear the guy listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. Obviously I have no way to substantiate that but the lesson is taken to heart.

Occasionally I run into people that don't just advertise they announce. I trained a guy a couple of years back; part of the training includes company/client firearms policy. In the middle of that segment of training he flat announced that he had a permit and asked if I did as well. I looked him dead in the eye, said "Nope" and continued with the training. My concealed carry status is on a need to know basis and if you aren't immediate family (and not always then) you don't

 

[Absalom]

I think the problem has to do with how a lot of gun owners perceive guns. I can't explain it but I notice how guns are treated as some sort of a awe inspiring thing. People have to show them off, play with them, polish them never sell them or regret selling, ooh and aaah over them. This I don't get. To me its just a thing. I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases. To me it would be like saying he guys come check out the new socks I bought. Or hey look at this new box of detergent. They are all just things I buy for use

To develop this line of thinking a bit further, I also sometimes feel like gun owner overdramatize the way "non-gun people" view guns. I've had a license and carried when appropriate since Oregon went "shall-issue" back in 1989, that's 25 years now, so yes, all my long-term friends, no matter where they are politically, know by now that I have a CCW and carry; when we head on outings into the woods, it's pretty much assumed that I carry a gun on me somewhere, and since they all know me really well, it's not a big deal at all. Of course, this is Oregon, where the old equation "liberal = anti-gun" has never really worked anyway. Of course I would never tell a stranger that I was carrying or even had a permit, certainly not in a bar like mentioned in an earlier post. But to me it's not warranted to treat it like a deep dark secret either.

 

[hangnoose]

NEED TO KNOW ONLY!

If you can't keep a secret, don't expect anyone else to. I don't care if it's a "friend"/spouse/other CC'r, unless it REALLY needs to be brought up, then don't. I've had complete strangers at LGS's tell me how they have 100's of guns and 10's of thousands of rounds of ammo at home. I usually tell them, "that will be me following you after you leave to see where you live".

 

[Iggy]

Some folks carry guns as a tool, others wear them as an accessory.

 

[bhayles]

Some folks carry guns as a tool, others wear them as an accessory.

Except for collectors items, a gun is a tool. I don't announce the purchase of a new hammer, skillsaw, pocket knife, stand mixer,coffee pot, or belt. Why in the world would I announce the purchase of a gun?

 

[ken158]

All of our relatives, friends, and neighbors know my wife and I both carry.

And everybody else your friends, relatives and neighbors tell - And who those people tell... concealed includes no discussion of the fact.

 

[LimaCharlie]

All of our relatives, friends, and neighbors know my wife and I both carry.

And everybody else your friends, relatives and neighbors tell - And who those people tell... concealed includes no discussion of the fact.

I never knew that carrying a gun included a membership in a double-secret society before gun forums on the internet. My wife and I also often open carry. People new to guns act like they are doing something wrong by exercising their Second Amendment rights. I really don't care who knows I am carrying a gun.

 

[Muss Muggins]

I never knew that carrying a gun included a membership in a double-secret society before gun forums on the internet. My wife and I also often open carry. People new to guns act like they are doing something wrong by exercising their Second Amendment rights. I really don't care who knows I am carrying a gun.

This is pretty much where I'm at. I don't open carry, but I could if I wanted to, and I don't see anything untoward about. Anybody that knows me is aware of my affinity for firearms, and my family and many others are aware that I likely have a gun within reach most if not all of the time. I don't have an acquaintance that would start a drunken brawl and ask me for a gun to settle it, and if for some goofy reason that situation would happen to occur, the person in question wouldn't be able to return to his first fight due to his new injuries. I also don't care who my friends and family notify about my affinity for firearms. If I get asked directly about whether or not I'm carrying, my response is always the same: "Do you think I have a gun?" I let them draw their own conclusions. If they press, they get "Nunya," or "This is an A B conversation. C your way out of it." None of these responses would be a surprise to anyone that knows me, and if I get told to "be nice," my standard response is "That was nice. For me." I'm in a position in my life where I don't care at all if you think I have a gun, and quite frankly, if you do think so, that makes me safer.

 

[Muss Muggins]

If you can't keep a secret, don't expect anyone else to. I don't care if it's a "friend"/spouse/other CC'r, unless it REALLY needs to be brought up, then don't. I've had complete strangers at LGS's tell me how they have 100's of guns and 10's of thousands of rounds of ammo at home. I usually tell them, "that will be me following you after you leave to see where you live".

Although I don't announce it like the town crier, most at my LGS know it, and it may come up if you are there. My response should you say that to me: "Why?"

 

[Biggfoot44]

On the one hand , the Grey Man theory maximizes your personal security.

On the other hand if Gun Rights minded people hadn't stepped up to lobby and participate in public events , there would only be widepsread concealed carry in 2 or 3 states still. The modern CCW era didn't magically come from the tooth fairy.

But these things are best done in the offices and hallways of your state capitol , and thru your state level 2A rights organization , rather than randomly to your business aquaintences.

 

[Rastoff]

I'm a gun enthusiast. I'm also an avid amateur wood worker. I'm also a musician. Those are just a few of the things I'm interested in. Therefore, I talk about these things all the time. I do it at work, at the range, at church and around the neighborhood. I tend to hand with like minded people and we all discuss our hobbies with each other.

I see no problem with talking about guns.

I'm also a CCW instructor. I have the name of my school plastered on the side of my truck. It's one way to advertise my business. I've obtained a few clients because of it. So, yeah, I talk about CCW all the time.

What I don't talk about is what or if I'm carrying. Why would I? There are so many other things to talk about.

I learned a long time ago, the best way to keep a secret is...








...wait for it...











...almost there...


















DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!!

There, now is that so hard?

 

[Rastoff]

I find it interesting that we have another thread in this section where people are proclaiming to the world at large exactly what they're carrying. 8 pages of it in fact.

 

[M1A]

It is nobody's business. At the range or anywhere. Even those who know I carry don't see a thing. Conversations about firearms in general are only with like minded individuals.

 

[Muss Muggins]

I'm a gun enthusiast. I'm also an avid amateur wood worker. I'm also a musician. Those are just a few of the things I'm interested in. Therefore, I talk about these things all the time. I do it at work, at the range, at church and around the neighborhood. I tend to hand with like minded people and we all discuss our hobbies with each other.

I see no problem with talking about guns.

I'm also a CCW instructor. I have the name of my school plastered on the side of my truck. It's one way to advertise my business. I've obtained a few clients because of it. So, yeah, I talk about CCW all the time.

What I don't talk about is what or if I'm carrying. Why would I? There are so many other things to talk about.

I learned a long time ago, the best way to keep a secret is...








...wait for it...











...almost there...


















DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!!

There, now is that so hard?

Seriously? "DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!! . . . ?" Your post is indefensible. "No, Officer, nobody should have known that I had a concealed firearm. I don't understand why you would ask . . . ?" You don't have to worry about not telling anybody. You tell everybody who sees you in your truck. People assume it if they see you in your labeled truck, and they won't believe you if you say no, so you better be carrying every time you step out of that truck.

Bank Teller: Of course there's no money here. What makes you think so?

Donut Shop: Donuts? No way, how did you know?

Convenience Store: Beer, gas and Skittles? Not talking. Maybe. Look around.

 

[Johnmuratore]

My wife doesn't even know that I carry. I always make a visit to the basement to "check on things" before I leave the house.
She knows I CAN, but that's it.

I've never mentioned it to a soul and never been asked. Why would I?

 

[sgtsandman]

Only key people know I carry and it is never talked about out in public. The point of concealed carry is so no one knows you have it.

Now talking about general shooting, rifles, range time is fine. If the setting is right for it. It's not something I would bring up at Denny's but at the VFW or the local sportsman's club would be fine. Even then, that I'm carrying wouldn't be brought up.