HOW TO ANSWER THE PHONE

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Very clever!

I got a telemarketer once, and asked him if he could hold. I set the phone down next to my stereo speaker. Elvin Bishop's "Travelin' Shoes" had just started, so I checked back after the song had finished, and apparently, he had tired of waiting.
 
If it's your land line , go to nomorobo and see if they support your carrier . My wife is a manager with AT&T . She's had these Indian guys calling on her corporate cell . Sometimes they call 4-5 times . Lately she's been answering " This is Sharon Potter with AT&T corporate security please state the reason for your call." Now they don't even talk .
 
If my phone rings and I don't recognize the number I don't answer. If the caller doesn't leave a message I pull the call up in my call log and set my phone to automatically blocks calls from that number. My phone is a cheap Samsung Galaxy if it has that feature I know the more expensive ones do.
 
Why do people assume the telemarketer cares if you yell at them? I got paid by the hour not the call and if I was listing to you screech at me I didn't have to deal with pitching someone else. As I mentioned above, yell at me for twenty minutes and the second you hang up I'll put you right back in the que at the highest priority I can and make sure you get called again and again.

When I worked at a Virgin Mobile call center I'd get people that would call and go absolutely ballistic on me and and I'd start playing phone tag. I'd offer to transfer them to the "correct department" to handle that. What I actually did was call that department, tell them what an *** you were being and guarantee that you'd be on hold for 10 minutes and have to tell them your whole story again after which they'd tell you that a different department did that and offer to transfer you again and start it all over again.

Demand to speak to my supervisor (who I was sleeping with and didn't give a damn about you) and I promise you're going to spend around 20 minutes on hold before being told "I'm sorry you had that experience sir/ma'am. Here's a code (that won't work) for a free ringtone courtesy of Virgin Mobile. And as soon as you hung up she'd give me a kiss and walk away

The fact is that the only power you actually have in this relationship is the power to decide not to pick up the phone in the first place but if screaming at some random telemarketer makes you feel better, by all means knock yourself out
 
"Animal Farm, duty pig speaking" seems to give most spam callers pause. (Think about it)

My father used to crank up the police scanner before picking up the phone and saying in his best stentorian tones, "Control Room!".

Another one I must try one day was first used on me MANY years ago. Sadly, the joke would be lost on many these days:

(In fake creaky old school marm voice)

"Dame Margo Fontaine's school of international terrorism for girls, how may I help you?"
 
There used to be a recording of a guy who answered the phone on a telemarketer and then told the guy he was a homicide detective. Starts asking the guy his name and address, how often he had called the victim, how well he knew the victim, what their relationship was. Hp\ow his is now part of an active murder investigation, etc etc. Telemarketer is freaking out. Saying he was only making a sales call. Guy tells him anyone who recently called or tried to contact the victim is a suspect.
 
If the number has a V in front of it on Caller ID I pick up and hang up all in one strike. If it looks like it might be legit, I'll say Hello but if there is a pause for more than a nano second, I hang up. If it comes up on Caller ID and has an area code I don't know anyone from I pick it up and hang it up all in 1/2 a second.
 
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