On reaching 80…
Tomorrow I will reach the age that is generally acknowledged as old. I will be 80. I have been asked by friends, now that I have reached this milepost, to offer some words of wisdom to the younger folks. Here are my observations.
1. Marry the one you have always loved from the starting gate. If you don’t, you will always regret it and wonder forever whatever happened to her or him. If you do, you have a better shot at happiness, and you won’t wonder. Of course, you can always not marry at all, and you will have one less thing to worry about – divorce.
2. Get an education – but get it in something you enjoy doing. They say that if you enjoy your work, you will never consider it work. I think they are right. And by the way, education doesn’t always involve a college degree, but that helps to open doors for you.
3. If you enjoy your work, you will probably get very good at it, and you will probably earn what many consider “the big bucks.” That is, unless you really like ditch digging.
4. Learn to handle alcohol. Beer is easy – hard liquor somewhat harder. And hard liquor doesn’t go nearly as well with pizza as beer.
5. Until those new-fangled driverless cars become commonplace, you will need to drive in a manner that will not only preserve YOUR hide, but the hides of others who are in your car. Take a defensive driving course, or as a step up, go to a high performance driving school such as offered by Bob Bondurant. Ask yourself if doing otherwise is worth your life.
6. Realize that children do not come with instructor’s manuals. You will learn as you go in raising them. Always respect them as individuals – each will surprise you with their uniqueness. Also realize that when they reach the legal age of adulthood (it varies, state by state), being an “adult” does NOT mean they are mature enough to make good decisions for the long haul. You may have to guide them, on occasion - past the age of 30 or even longer. Just do it with love and respect.
7. Love and care for your parents in their old age and their very possible limitations – both physically and mentally. No one can do it with more love and understanding. Remember all the sacrifices they made for you, and return the favor if at all possible.
8. Remember the angel sitting on one of your shoulders and the devil on the other. Early on, learn to decide if something is right or wrong, and act accordingly.
9. Always tell the truth unless it is absolutely necessary to preserve a relationship. It’s said that most people harbor at least 13 secrets that they never reveal to anyone. Don’t let a feeling of “I have to confess” destroy all the good things that you have built with others close to you. Some things are just better left unsaid. Recognize and respect that.
10. Honor and love God. You exist at His will, and so do others around you. Prayer will help with all situations, and is good on a daily basis. You don’t need to attend institutions of formal religion unless one or more meet your needs. God is everywhere and prayer can be done from anywhere.
11. Stay loyal to your friends. Once a friendship is struck, value it and continue the relationship unless something catastrophic happens. Good friends are always there for you and you should always be available for them. Personally, I have friendships that were made in grade school, high school and college, and still maintain them proudly.
12. “If you like people, you should get into Human Resources work.” No, you shouldn’t. That path will take you down the road to many disappointments and shattered illusions. If you have a tough hide, give it a try, though. It can be satisfying with some good moments.
13. “The experts say…” Experts are simply people from out of town. “Consultant” has always been a bad word as far as I’m concerned. Go with your gut as to the proper path to take.
14. Politically correct isn’t.
15. Always treat other people with respect and a smile. If you can’t say something nice… well, you know the rest.
16. The most important sound to another person is that of their own name. Say it, memorize it and use it with them often. Try not to be the guy or gal who never remembers a face, but always forgets a name.
17. Love, loyalty and helpfulness should be the words that come to mind when others talk about you. Each quality will pay dividends for all of your life.
Wish that I had learned all of these lessons early in life and that I had heeded them all. But these are the ones that come to mind as I enter my 80th year.
John
Tomorrow I will reach the age that is generally acknowledged as old. I will be 80. I have been asked by friends, now that I have reached this milepost, to offer some words of wisdom to the younger folks. Here are my observations.
1. Marry the one you have always loved from the starting gate. If you don’t, you will always regret it and wonder forever whatever happened to her or him. If you do, you have a better shot at happiness, and you won’t wonder. Of course, you can always not marry at all, and you will have one less thing to worry about – divorce.
2. Get an education – but get it in something you enjoy doing. They say that if you enjoy your work, you will never consider it work. I think they are right. And by the way, education doesn’t always involve a college degree, but that helps to open doors for you.
3. If you enjoy your work, you will probably get very good at it, and you will probably earn what many consider “the big bucks.” That is, unless you really like ditch digging.
4. Learn to handle alcohol. Beer is easy – hard liquor somewhat harder. And hard liquor doesn’t go nearly as well with pizza as beer.
5. Until those new-fangled driverless cars become commonplace, you will need to drive in a manner that will not only preserve YOUR hide, but the hides of others who are in your car. Take a defensive driving course, or as a step up, go to a high performance driving school such as offered by Bob Bondurant. Ask yourself if doing otherwise is worth your life.
6. Realize that children do not come with instructor’s manuals. You will learn as you go in raising them. Always respect them as individuals – each will surprise you with their uniqueness. Also realize that when they reach the legal age of adulthood (it varies, state by state), being an “adult” does NOT mean they are mature enough to make good decisions for the long haul. You may have to guide them, on occasion - past the age of 30 or even longer. Just do it with love and respect.
7. Love and care for your parents in their old age and their very possible limitations – both physically and mentally. No one can do it with more love and understanding. Remember all the sacrifices they made for you, and return the favor if at all possible.
8. Remember the angel sitting on one of your shoulders and the devil on the other. Early on, learn to decide if something is right or wrong, and act accordingly.
9. Always tell the truth unless it is absolutely necessary to preserve a relationship. It’s said that most people harbor at least 13 secrets that they never reveal to anyone. Don’t let a feeling of “I have to confess” destroy all the good things that you have built with others close to you. Some things are just better left unsaid. Recognize and respect that.
10. Honor and love God. You exist at His will, and so do others around you. Prayer will help with all situations, and is good on a daily basis. You don’t need to attend institutions of formal religion unless one or more meet your needs. God is everywhere and prayer can be done from anywhere.
11. Stay loyal to your friends. Once a friendship is struck, value it and continue the relationship unless something catastrophic happens. Good friends are always there for you and you should always be available for them. Personally, I have friendships that were made in grade school, high school and college, and still maintain them proudly.
12. “If you like people, you should get into Human Resources work.” No, you shouldn’t. That path will take you down the road to many disappointments and shattered illusions. If you have a tough hide, give it a try, though. It can be satisfying with some good moments.
13. “The experts say…” Experts are simply people from out of town. “Consultant” has always been a bad word as far as I’m concerned. Go with your gut as to the proper path to take.
14. Politically correct isn’t.
15. Always treat other people with respect and a smile. If you can’t say something nice… well, you know the rest.
16. The most important sound to another person is that of their own name. Say it, memorize it and use it with them often. Try not to be the guy or gal who never remembers a face, but always forgets a name.
17. Love, loyalty and helpfulness should be the words that come to mind when others talk about you. Each quality will pay dividends for all of your life.
Wish that I had learned all of these lessons early in life and that I had heeded them all. But these are the ones that come to mind as I enter my 80th year.
John
