Who are your 10???

[elm_creek_smith]

My mother passed on the 20th of March. The funeral home advised us that we could only have 10 people at a graveside service or we could wait to have a regular funeral God knows when. We had a simple graveside service on the afternoon of March 27 attended by my 2 sisters, their husbands, my brother and his son, my wife and I and our younger daughter to help me with my chronically ill wife. My younger sister's husband is a lay preacher who performed a very nice service that had the funeral home lady in tears.

With all the rain we've had, the awning and Mom's casket were set up by the cemetery road, and the weather was stunningly beautiful. Over the next few days, the family fell to ****, but we did have that one nice day. After we left the cemetery, the staff interred Mom next to Dad.

Once all this is over we will have a proper memorial service and see if we can come together as a family once more.

When my wife passes, she wants to be cremated and sit on the mantle until I join her. Then, she can join me at the national cemetery. I'll have a military funeral and if no one but my children (including son-in-law), my grandchildren, and the honor guard show up, it'll all be the same to me.

I'm going flying.

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[Golddollar]

To follow up on what on what LoboGunLeather said, when administering an estate there will be innumerable little details that will come up. Years ago, an accounting firm in the city where I used to work put together what they called a "Personal Estate Answer Book", which is a "fill in the blank" softbound book where you can put down details as small as what you want played at your funeral. There are a lot of spaces for where to find things and how to contact people. And it's all in one place.

Go see your accountant or estate attorney to obtain a couple copies of this type of book. It's a lot easier to fill out this book while you're sharp and aware. One last note from the accountants I got this from - Don't keep it in your safe deposit box so your executor or administrator can get the book in case your safe deposit box is sealed at your death.

 

[Grayfox]

I was contemplating this not too long ago. I realized that at this stage in my life, Most of my friends and family have either moved on, moved away or died.
I'm sure my two sons will be there. But otherwise, I doubt 10 people will show up.
Hell, wait for rigor mortis, sharpen my feet and drive me into the ground like a tent peg.

 

[johngalt]

I can sympathize. My best friend from high school has brain cancer, the battle isn't going well. I want to visit but can't because of the beer situation.

 

[brucev]

Re: OP. Just found your post. Profoundly regret your loss. Currently have one deceased church member who died just over two weeks ago. We will have a normal funeral in August if this Covid 19 thing has passed. Sincerely. bruce.

 

[NYlakesider]

Years ago I told my wife and 2 sons my wishes. No public viewing/services no funeral. Just do a burn and put my my ashes in a small plot in the local cemetery. One plot only as there will be plenty of room to put in two cremains when my wife goes!

By law there has to be a posting of death notice in the paper. As the son of a funeral director and the nephew of 4 other directors I have been at enough services. Get it over as fast and simpley as you can. If my wishes are not carried out I have told them if there is a way I can come back and haunt you I will.

 

[andy52]

No funeral, no obits, no public notice.
Funeral home has instructions to fry me and flush me.

Same here with the exception of the flush part, if my family wants to put me on the mantle that's fine..

 

[SteveA]

Interesting question. Posed it to my wife...she gave me a dark look and replied not to worry, they'll never find my body!

 

[max]

I was planning on attending if a lunch and drinks were being served.

So sorry for your loss, amigo.

I'm vaguely embarrassed at the thought of anyone coming to my funeral. Surely they have better things to do . . . I do appreciate folks' kindness while I'm here, though.

 

[CB3]

If I were a lawyer and I had to limit who came to my funeral (really?) I would just have my secretary bill each of them my normal hourly rate. That would definitely limit attendance.

But in truth, if I were an entrepreneur during this funeral crisis of limited attendees, I would start up a life-size foam board photo cut out business with two day delivery so everyone who wanted could attend. The deluxe version would have a small video camera mounted in the face with two-way audio to participate in the service, including singing off-key.

 

[handejector]

I'm vaguely embarrassed at the thought of anyone coming to my funeral. Surely they have better things to do . . .

Well, somebody's gotta check your pockets.....

 

[whitestang]

My Mom passed away on the 27th of March and did not want any type of service and was cremated. For me it would be my son,dil and granddaughters as well as my two brothers and one sister. My other sister passed away in December and there were about 35 people at her service.No matter the circumstaces it is still a sad time.

 

[ContinentalOp]

Well, somebody's gotta check your pockets.....

I thought the funeral home did that...

 

[Grayfox]

A funeral isn't really about what you want. Its more about what others need. For some, it gives closure. Others just want to make sure you're dead.

 

[MCorps0311]

My sincere condolences,to you and your family.

 

[rwsmith]

Get some women....

Your wife (maybe), your daughter, and the 8 hired mourners we all chipped in for.


Sorry for your loss. It hurts to lose em.

...from those cultures who's job it is to wail at funerals. You'll get your money's worth.

 

[mtgianni]

Two close friends have lost parents. Graveside service with a memorial to follow in the summer.

 

[Bullzaye]

I've told my wife that if I go, direct the funeral home to cremate me...

*IF* you go? Sounds as though you have some very ambitious plans for the future!

 

[Squarebutt]

"Always go to other people's funerals. Otherwise they won't come to yours."
Lawrence Edward Berra

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Well it turned out well. Got a phone call later on that night after I had posted. About 100 or so of friends and family lined the little lane leading to the cemetery. We stood 6 feet apart as the Hearse passed and turned into the cemetery. And then we all left. It was really nice-the family had no idea we were doing it and from what I heard they were all really touched. I wanted to show more for his family than anything else-he was dead after all
God willing and the creek don't rise, I'll see him again at some point-hopefully not someplace hot