HELP ME OUT HERE! AM I EXPECTING TOO MUCH OR AM I RIGHT IN FEELING DISSED?

[mchom]

Well Chief
The guy sounds like he’s lacking some class.
If we lived closer I’d be happy to bring the cigars although the only drink I enjoy is Diet Coke.

 

[Greyman50]

Cut him/ them off. Not your “ friend” and certainly not the types you need. JMHO.

 

[glenwolde]

Be sure to save the bottles from your best bourbon. Fill them with some Kentucky Gentleman as a throw down. It would be fun to see if they even notice.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

My experience with freeloaders, moochers and spongers is they have incredibly inflated egos and a sense of entitlement. They're the type of people who see something they want in the icebox at work and help themselves, who never bring anything to a picnic or potluck and try to take the leftovers home.
Not a drinking man myself, I'd fill a whiskey bottle-or decanter-with cream soda, or just colored water-see how they react.

 

[swsig]

It depends on your relationship with your neighbor. If you enjoy his company and comradery, I'd say taking his bourbon home with him is no biggie. Maybe you could come to an agreement: If he provides the liquor you'll provide the cigars.

 

[petepeterson]

Maybe it was all he had, and he had a buddy to entertain?

I might be a sucker, but I'm pretty generous when it comes to handing out vices. I suppose it's a way to "buy" friends, but it goes a bit farther.

He's definitely on the hook for the next go-around, IMO.

 

[Rudi]

Sounds like a flake to me. Go with your gut.

 

[LVSteve]

I've lived a lot of different places, and in many of them it's pretty typical that much of the population come from elsewhere. Based on my experience I have developed an "arm's length" attitude to neighbors, and I generally don't like them that close. The OP is a good reminder why.

 

[Onomea]

I've noticed that as I've gotten older it's harder and harder to find anyone who measures up to my standards.

Instead of hearing about your cigars and your Bourbon, why don't we hear about the great stories that were told. Nothing about common interests. Nothing about just friendly and comfortable conversations. No future plans for hunting expeditions or a joint trip to the next gun show.....just booze and smokes....and a short change artist.

Listen, I'm not finding fault or disagreeing with you. Like I said, I can't make friends either. I believe that the whole "buddy" deal peaks about the time you and your roomie in the dorm splits the sheets. By the time I had my first pad my sole focus shifted to females. I had some work buddies with families so our families became friends.....but there was something about every one of those dudes that got on my nerves.

I can count on one hand the few life long pals that I've had. After about 20 minutes they start getting on my nerves.

If everything else was hunky dory you wouldn't even notice who brought what to the table. You'd all pass out on the floor and wake up with a hangover.

Yeah, I can see myself standing on the porch and screaming for someone to get off my lawn.....and it's probably gonna get worse.

Don't agree with your criticism of the OP, but I do like your direct attitude, and your write up is straight forward, honest, and... pretty darn funny! Made me laugh!

All the best, bro!

 

[Kanewpadle]

I've noticed that as I've gotten older it's harder and harder to find anyone who measures up to my standards.

Instead of hearing about your cigars and your Bourbon, why don't we hear about the great stories that were told. Nothing about common interests. Nothing about just friendly and comfortable conversations. No future plans for hunting expeditions or a joint trip to the next gun show.....just booze and smokes....and a short change artist.

Listen, I'm not finding fault or disagreeing with you. Like I said, I can't make friends either. I believe that the whole "buddy" deal peaks about the time you and your roomie in the dorm splits the sheets. By the time I had my first pad my sole focus shifted to females. I had some work buddies with families so our families became friends.....but there was something about every one of those dudes that got on my nerves.

I can count on one hand the few life long pals that I've had. After about 20 minutes they start getting on my nerves.

If everything else was hunky dory you wouldn't even notice who brought what to the table. You'd all pass out on the floor and wake up with a hangover.

Yeah, I can see myself standing on the porch and screaming for someone to get off my lawn.....and it's probably gonna get worse.

No offense buddy. But did you wonder if YOU are the problem? Not your friends?

Or are your standards so high that nobody can measure up?

 

[rwsmith]

If you ask me...

OK - so I know now I am not being overly sensitive or presumptuous here. I guess I will wait 'till he invites me to his house to smoke his cigars and drink his booze. If that invite never comes, then so be it - the one thing I do not lack here are friends and more respectful neighbors. I think I'm done inviting him here (4 times now) without any reciprocation. I am a generous guy, but will not be a door mat! Thanks for the responses guys!

That may be ok if you don't invite him over to your house any more, but if you play tit for tat, you are going to end up the loser in the long run because you are generous and he is not. It's better that there not be a long run. If he comes over again I SURE would not offer bourbon and cigars. Especially, GOOD bourbon and cigars.

 

[326MOD10]

Maybe he is trying to work up the nerve to ask you what the value of a firearm he owns would be.

 

[kozmic]

Some folks are just users. Period. I think it's in their DNA. As long as you keep providing him with what he wants, he will keep coming back. Not unlike a feral cat. Feed them and they will routinely return for more. They learn to follow the path of least resistance to get what they want.
There's a good chance he won't change, so any resolution probably needs to come from you. 2 potential solutions are to say something or completely step away from further interaction. If it was me, I'd close the book on him unless he, by some strange chance, makes a satisfactory suggestion for your next meeting. Why would you want to subject yourself to a situation that gives you agita? Good luck, Chief!

 

[chief38]

Maybe he is trying to work up the nerve to ask you what the value of a firearm he owns would be.

Now that's FUNNY! LOL - Guess you read my recent post -

 

[Baxter6551]

Chief - you are totally correct. Now to find a way to not have him back…or no longer offer Burbon and Cigars. I wouldn’t hold your hand “you know where” waiting for an invite to his place. Or if one comes don’t expect the same hospitality.
My wife’s cousins do the same thing. They take home whatever is remaining of what they brought when they are invited for dinner or a holiday meal. Even if it is one beer out of a six pack or a single serving of green bean casserole …..
They went to Disney with us last year and we provided them with a room at the resort on our Vacation Club points (5 guests sharing the attached room). The retail value of the room would have been around $5,500 (I looked it up afterwards). They didn’t take us out to dinner once…or even offer. I was asked to pay my share when they went to get Starbucks. Even down to snacks they brought into the common area were taken back to their room and not left for sharing. And two of the guys were new spouses who you think would have come into the mix with different values. I’m sure if there was any discussion of showing their appreciation somehow they were voted down. But hey - you can’t choose family right? Thanks for letting me get that off my chest !

 

[Walkin Horse]

can count on one hand the few life long pals that I've had. After about 20 minutes they start getting on my nerves.

I agree with that for sure. When I was married none of her friends husbands and I liked each other and vice versus. I have five good guy friends that I’ve known for a long time.

Something like Chief is going through,would drive a wedge in the friendship that would become insurmountable.

 

[Bald1]

I love bourbon and cigars. Where did you say you lived ?

 

[taz666]

I have a simple rule. If I offer something out, it comes without any strings attached. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.

If you can't do that ... don't offer.

 

[Buford57]

OK - so I know now I am not being overly sensitive or presumptuous here. I guess I will wait 'till he invites me to his house to smoke his cigars and drink his booze. If that invite never comes, then so be it - the one thing I do not lack here are friends and more respectful neighbors. I think I'm done inviting him here (4 times now) without any reciprocation. I am a generous guy, but will not be a door mat! Thanks for the responses guys!

50 years ago I loaned a "friend" $20. Never saw him again. Fair deal.

 

[VictorLouis]

No OP, you are right. I had similar happen with cigars, also. As an insomniac, I frequently visit the local stop-n-rob for coffee and iced-tea.
For quite awhile, there was a clique that hung out there, all of us friendly with the night clerk. I turned-on another guy to good cigars, and gifted him a dozen or so, over several visits. Never did he offer to pay, whether for individuals or to spring for a bundle of his faves when I was making a run to the tobacconist. Once I cut off the free smokes, he stopped showing up.