On numerous Internet forums, and some email lists, gun owners periodically report being hassled by police when pulled over for routine traffic infractions. These gun owners often complain of being detained for longer than necessary to issue a traffic summons, being temporarily disarmed, and having the serial numbers of the guns recorded.
But often there is a common thread to these stories – the dorky gun owner brought up the gun thing all on her own!
Traffic stop gun dork behavior comes in a variety of flavors, but here are the major ones:
The I gotta show my carry permit gun dork: This gun owner, for whatever reason, insists on notifying the officer she holds a gun carry permit. Maybe thinking the officer will give her “professional courtesy” and not issue a summons if the officer sees the permit, the gun dork slyly exposes her permit while finding her driver’s license, or maybe asks, batting her eyes, “officer, do you want to see my concealed handgun permit?”
The I gotta notify the officer I have a gun gun dork: This gun owner, even when in many or most states like Virginia and Pennsylvania which do not require gun owners to notify officers that they have a gun, always starts the conversation with police officers with “I have a gun!,” or words to that effect. And regardless of how toastmaster smooth this gun dork thinks he can speak, the officer likely perceives the relevant communication simply as “I have a gun!” when his brain processes this spontaneous statement by the unknown subject he has just seized.
The I gotta act like the police might shoot me gun dork: This gun owner, after turning on his dome light even in day time as if his balding head needs illumination, grips his steering wheel in white knuckled determination to refuse any temptation to move or open his wallet and glove box to get his driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance. Nosirreeee, this gun dork is gonna to wait 'till the officer gets to the window and tells him how to chew soup today.
And sometimes these gun dorks execute more than one of these behaviors, or one of several others oddities – like my favorite: getting out of their car “to meet the officer on equal ground.”
Just compare these gun dorky behaviors to what most motorists do in a traffic stop: First they say “oh [insert favorite explicative]!” Second, they pull over in a spot that gives the officer a place to park too. Third, they take a deep breath and then get out their driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance – about that time the officer is walking up and observing this normal behavior and saying something like “good morning sir, I need see your license and registration.”
At this point the normal motorist tries to seem relaxed as possible, slightly apologetic too, and does a little Colombo routine, something like: “Oh, ahh, sure officer, I think these are up to date, ahh, do you want that insurance thingy too?” Over the next few minutes the officer runs checks on your docs, gives you a short lecture, and then issues you a warning or summons and everybody is on their way.
Incredibly, gun dorks seem surprised or infuriated when things go differently for them. Gun dorks should think for a minute and realize that what they are saying or doing is frankly very strange and unnerving and creates a problem for the police officer that he must deal with – and deal with in only a few seconds based upon what his training, instincts, recollection of possible department policies, and personal biases tell him to do at that instant.
And let’s not forget the relevant social and economic incentives for police officer behavior – if the officer treats the gun dork like any other ordinary motorist after the gun dork communicates “gun!” in one way or another, and something bad happens during that traffic stop, do you think that officer is goin’ to get selected for Detective anytime soon?
So here’s a great New Year’s resolution for 2010: Don’t be a gun dork in traffic stops!
Happy New Year!
But often there is a common thread to these stories – the dorky gun owner brought up the gun thing all on her own!
Traffic stop gun dork behavior comes in a variety of flavors, but here are the major ones:
The I gotta show my carry permit gun dork: This gun owner, for whatever reason, insists on notifying the officer she holds a gun carry permit. Maybe thinking the officer will give her “professional courtesy” and not issue a summons if the officer sees the permit, the gun dork slyly exposes her permit while finding her driver’s license, or maybe asks, batting her eyes, “officer, do you want to see my concealed handgun permit?”
The I gotta notify the officer I have a gun gun dork: This gun owner, even when in many or most states like Virginia and Pennsylvania which do not require gun owners to notify officers that they have a gun, always starts the conversation with police officers with “I have a gun!,” or words to that effect. And regardless of how toastmaster smooth this gun dork thinks he can speak, the officer likely perceives the relevant communication simply as “I have a gun!” when his brain processes this spontaneous statement by the unknown subject he has just seized.
The I gotta act like the police might shoot me gun dork: This gun owner, after turning on his dome light even in day time as if his balding head needs illumination, grips his steering wheel in white knuckled determination to refuse any temptation to move or open his wallet and glove box to get his driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance. Nosirreeee, this gun dork is gonna to wait 'till the officer gets to the window and tells him how to chew soup today.
And sometimes these gun dorks execute more than one of these behaviors, or one of several others oddities – like my favorite: getting out of their car “to meet the officer on equal ground.”
Just compare these gun dorky behaviors to what most motorists do in a traffic stop: First they say “oh [insert favorite explicative]!” Second, they pull over in a spot that gives the officer a place to park too. Third, they take a deep breath and then get out their driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance – about that time the officer is walking up and observing this normal behavior and saying something like “good morning sir, I need see your license and registration.”
At this point the normal motorist tries to seem relaxed as possible, slightly apologetic too, and does a little Colombo routine, something like: “Oh, ahh, sure officer, I think these are up to date, ahh, do you want that insurance thingy too?” Over the next few minutes the officer runs checks on your docs, gives you a short lecture, and then issues you a warning or summons and everybody is on their way.
Incredibly, gun dorks seem surprised or infuriated when things go differently for them. Gun dorks should think for a minute and realize that what they are saying or doing is frankly very strange and unnerving and creates a problem for the police officer that he must deal with – and deal with in only a few seconds based upon what his training, instincts, recollection of possible department policies, and personal biases tell him to do at that instant.
And let’s not forget the relevant social and economic incentives for police officer behavior – if the officer treats the gun dork like any other ordinary motorist after the gun dork communicates “gun!” in one way or another, and something bad happens during that traffic stop, do you think that officer is goin’ to get selected for Detective anytime soon?
So here’s a great New Year’s resolution for 2010: Don’t be a gun dork in traffic stops!
Happy New Year!
