model70hunter
Member
I made mention of an outhouse in another thread and after a comment or so I realized many here have never been exposed to or used an outhouse. What I took for granite is foreign to some.
Here it is with a foreword by Mr. Kasskop.
Mr. Kaaskop;
Back then cool was reserved for winter time use.
Were you a downtown guy?
Outhouses kept one's bidness private, along with the privates private, a nickname for them was privvies.
My uncle in NW Iowa owned a large farm but lived right across the highway from town where they had indoor toilets. His outhouse had 2 seats, sort of the Caddy of it's time.
My Dad bought a 200 acre farm in 1960, it had a nice house, fully insulated and modern except no water which meant no indoor plumbing. The guy who owned the farm was rich, very rich, it was his weekend retreat. Farmers used to dump trash on their own farms, In the head of a holler he had dumped more whisky bottles and empty beer cans over the years it looked like a small mountain. It later gave me and my bro years of plinking.
Obviously he did not need water to dilute his store bought liquids. Had a nice house in town. Just a weekend warrior. He was farm raised and built a huge dairy barn thinking he would hire someone to run it which never happened. Being a farm boy from the early part of the century outhouses were probably common to him.
The farm had a house and a path as they used to say when the toilet was an outhouse.
We became accustomed to it rather quickly as mother nature rules all.
Mom demanded and got a well drilled in the 1st year. Indoor water, sinks, hot water, but Dad would not go full nelson on the toilet. Bathe and drink ice cold deep well water but if nature drew your lottery number it was the path. There was a concrete cistern that caught rainwater for washing and cooking. But one had to go work the hand pump outside.
Dad lined the interior with some triple walled waxed cardboard boxes something fancy and expensive came in, this helped in the winter. But was a little stuffy in the summer. In the summer stuff, scaly things, slithering between the wall and cardboard is concerning.
When warm the door, when open, blocked the view from the house. The "pathroom" was in the barnyard about 30 yards from the house. In the summer while sweating and working in there it was common for a horse to stick his head in to beg for treats or a friendly cow to pop her head in to say high. Luckily the bulls were never a problem.
One had to hold the door open with a foot as it had a stout door spring on it and would slam shut hard.
Just like the US Mail, neither rain, sleet, hail nor snow kept us from the trip.
Outhouse etiquette; yell hallo to the outhouse while walking up and before opening the door, knock.
Make sure there are catalogs in place incase TP runs out.
The slick pages are not as user friendly as pulp type paper in magazine or cheap catalogs.
Never grab any mail if a paper emergency arises. And If you do make sure it did not say IRS or the like to Dad on it. Someone digs it out while Dad supervises. This is one reason it was good to learn to read early in life.
Dad always lifted the trapdoor and dug it out each spring putting it on the lower compost pile.
Other living creatures and you share this area;
Spiders, wasps (more on this later), bees, horse flies, lizards, snakes and after dark unknown things that go bump.
Anyone who grew up using an outhouse is already SWAT trained;
Open the door easy and quietly, with your eyes sweep what you can see and as you open the door fully sweep the rest of the room.
You are looking for snakes.
Move part way into the "house" and look in all corners as your eyes get accustomed to the dark. DO NOT FORGET TO LET YOUR EYES ADJUST before the final sweep!
Next take a deep breath and look into the hole, again snakes, spiders and lizards are on the watch list. You may only see a small non-moving body part so take immediate action. No shotguns. 22 LR is ok.
When all is secure, look one more time at the seat which is usually hand carved out of native trees, Oak in our case, it is 10 times warmer than plastic.
If the seat is clear, turn, quickly drop the garments to your knees only and sit. If one allows the garment to go clear to the ankles there may be undue stress placed on the ankles in an emergency.
Follow up on wasps; an untrained rookie from earlier in his outhouse career.
I'm sure some of you think, what? An outhouse when u're pointed to the unpainted building in the barnyard. If the call is of an urgent nature you might just go over and in, sit and contemplate.
Just wandering into a combat zone will get cha bub.
As an untrained rookie when young I just ambled over, in and did the sit. On the seat were two large Red Wasps. they have zero tolerance for being sat on, they have extra painful poison and one sooner than immediately feels the pain.
If you were following the procedure for dropping garments to the knees you will see why, I screamed, leaped through the door still screaming and in two steps had run out of my garments. I sprinted across the yard and there were only a couple of relatives to laugh at my 8 year old screaming self.
Amazingly, it does not matter how fast one can run the pain is stuck to your rear urging you to run faster. If on the interstate one might blow the doors off 18 wheelers or so it seems as the wind whistles in your ears.
Ok refresher, any questions about to the knees only? Good.
Think we are finished?
When leaving do not put a foot down to the ground immediately at the threshold, why? Snakes, they love lizards and other (house brand) items, you may have skeered it out of the house when you went in or they just came by looking for a sunning lizard. If you don't know, snakes sort of squish funny under your foot, do severe thrashing, and even a non poisonous snake will bite and get all ticked off. Peek over and down in front in the area hidden by the threshold, then take a long quick 2 steps.
When you cased your exit you also should have looked at where your 2 quick steps are going to be. This is an active barnyard, cows hang around the front of the outhouse, but never go in, yep cow patties in the path. If you go after dark, take a flashlight and memorize patty drops as you go in.
Wampus kitties and such;
If you are a slicker in the wilderness there are a few bump in the night things. The first time a Bobcat female of the species goes into the i'm in heat bloody scream close by call, usually the rear of the building, do not forget the garment to the knee rule. Some here have heard a Bobcat and some out West have perhaps heard a Mountain lion female scream.
In the Ozark mountains they start right at dark, a second or 2 after it is completely dark. The scream sounds like a large lunged woman being skinned alive, really, your hair stands on end, your steps get much quicker and the gun you've been hunting with seems warmer to the touch. IT IS LOUD!
So if she is looking for a Tom Bob and dinner they may be skirting the edge of the barn yard.
Bet you did not check for snakes nor cow patties when you jumped and ran did you? When you slow down, man up, go back and do the paper work, you'll thank yourself later. The 2nd time you only jump out the door, by the 3rd time you just yell shut up, like a city guy to a neighbor.
Almost forgot, use a catalog page the run around the bottom of the seat before the sit. Lizards can and will crawl across something upside down. When this happens your vertacle leap is only controlled by the ceiling of the outhouse. And you are slapping your rear or worse all the way up and down thinking the worst.
Now, shut the door and wait your turn, go get me a catalog, I'm busy.
Here it is with a foreword by Mr. Kasskop.
I can't believe model70hunter wrote this!This is so cool!
Kaaskop49
Shield #5103
Mr. Kaaskop;
Back then cool was reserved for winter time use.
Were you a downtown guy?
Outhouses kept one's bidness private, along with the privates private, a nickname for them was privvies.
My uncle in NW Iowa owned a large farm but lived right across the highway from town where they had indoor toilets. His outhouse had 2 seats, sort of the Caddy of it's time.
My Dad bought a 200 acre farm in 1960, it had a nice house, fully insulated and modern except no water which meant no indoor plumbing. The guy who owned the farm was rich, very rich, it was his weekend retreat. Farmers used to dump trash on their own farms, In the head of a holler he had dumped more whisky bottles and empty beer cans over the years it looked like a small mountain. It later gave me and my bro years of plinking.
Obviously he did not need water to dilute his store bought liquids. Had a nice house in town. Just a weekend warrior. He was farm raised and built a huge dairy barn thinking he would hire someone to run it which never happened. Being a farm boy from the early part of the century outhouses were probably common to him.
The farm had a house and a path as they used to say when the toilet was an outhouse.
We became accustomed to it rather quickly as mother nature rules all.
Mom demanded and got a well drilled in the 1st year. Indoor water, sinks, hot water, but Dad would not go full nelson on the toilet. Bathe and drink ice cold deep well water but if nature drew your lottery number it was the path. There was a concrete cistern that caught rainwater for washing and cooking. But one had to go work the hand pump outside.
Dad lined the interior with some triple walled waxed cardboard boxes something fancy and expensive came in, this helped in the winter. But was a little stuffy in the summer. In the summer stuff, scaly things, slithering between the wall and cardboard is concerning.
When warm the door, when open, blocked the view from the house. The "pathroom" was in the barnyard about 30 yards from the house. In the summer while sweating and working in there it was common for a horse to stick his head in to beg for treats or a friendly cow to pop her head in to say high. Luckily the bulls were never a problem.
One had to hold the door open with a foot as it had a stout door spring on it and would slam shut hard.
Just like the US Mail, neither rain, sleet, hail nor snow kept us from the trip.
Outhouse etiquette; yell hallo to the outhouse while walking up and before opening the door, knock.
Make sure there are catalogs in place incase TP runs out.
The slick pages are not as user friendly as pulp type paper in magazine or cheap catalogs.
Never grab any mail if a paper emergency arises. And If you do make sure it did not say IRS or the like to Dad on it. Someone digs it out while Dad supervises. This is one reason it was good to learn to read early in life.
Dad always lifted the trapdoor and dug it out each spring putting it on the lower compost pile.
Other living creatures and you share this area;
Spiders, wasps (more on this later), bees, horse flies, lizards, snakes and after dark unknown things that go bump.
Anyone who grew up using an outhouse is already SWAT trained;
Open the door easy and quietly, with your eyes sweep what you can see and as you open the door fully sweep the rest of the room.
You are looking for snakes.
Move part way into the "house" and look in all corners as your eyes get accustomed to the dark. DO NOT FORGET TO LET YOUR EYES ADJUST before the final sweep!
Next take a deep breath and look into the hole, again snakes, spiders and lizards are on the watch list. You may only see a small non-moving body part so take immediate action. No shotguns. 22 LR is ok.
When all is secure, look one more time at the seat which is usually hand carved out of native trees, Oak in our case, it is 10 times warmer than plastic.
If the seat is clear, turn, quickly drop the garments to your knees only and sit. If one allows the garment to go clear to the ankles there may be undue stress placed on the ankles in an emergency.
Follow up on wasps; an untrained rookie from earlier in his outhouse career.
I'm sure some of you think, what? An outhouse when u're pointed to the unpainted building in the barnyard. If the call is of an urgent nature you might just go over and in, sit and contemplate.
Just wandering into a combat zone will get cha bub.
As an untrained rookie when young I just ambled over, in and did the sit. On the seat were two large Red Wasps. they have zero tolerance for being sat on, they have extra painful poison and one sooner than immediately feels the pain.
If you were following the procedure for dropping garments to the knees you will see why, I screamed, leaped through the door still screaming and in two steps had run out of my garments. I sprinted across the yard and there were only a couple of relatives to laugh at my 8 year old screaming self.
Amazingly, it does not matter how fast one can run the pain is stuck to your rear urging you to run faster. If on the interstate one might blow the doors off 18 wheelers or so it seems as the wind whistles in your ears.
Ok refresher, any questions about to the knees only? Good.
Think we are finished?
When leaving do not put a foot down to the ground immediately at the threshold, why? Snakes, they love lizards and other (house brand) items, you may have skeered it out of the house when you went in or they just came by looking for a sunning lizard. If you don't know, snakes sort of squish funny under your foot, do severe thrashing, and even a non poisonous snake will bite and get all ticked off. Peek over and down in front in the area hidden by the threshold, then take a long quick 2 steps.
When you cased your exit you also should have looked at where your 2 quick steps are going to be. This is an active barnyard, cows hang around the front of the outhouse, but never go in, yep cow patties in the path. If you go after dark, take a flashlight and memorize patty drops as you go in.
Wampus kitties and such;
If you are a slicker in the wilderness there are a few bump in the night things. The first time a Bobcat female of the species goes into the i'm in heat bloody scream close by call, usually the rear of the building, do not forget the garment to the knee rule. Some here have heard a Bobcat and some out West have perhaps heard a Mountain lion female scream.
In the Ozark mountains they start right at dark, a second or 2 after it is completely dark. The scream sounds like a large lunged woman being skinned alive, really, your hair stands on end, your steps get much quicker and the gun you've been hunting with seems warmer to the touch. IT IS LOUD!
So if she is looking for a Tom Bob and dinner they may be skirting the edge of the barn yard.
Bet you did not check for snakes nor cow patties when you jumped and ran did you? When you slow down, man up, go back and do the paper work, you'll thank yourself later. The 2nd time you only jump out the door, by the 3rd time you just yell shut up, like a city guy to a neighbor.
Almost forgot, use a catalog page the run around the bottom of the seat before the sit. Lizards can and will crawl across something upside down. When this happens your vertacle leap is only controlled by the ceiling of the outhouse. And you are slapping your rear or worse all the way up and down thinking the worst.
Now, shut the door and wait your turn, go get me a catalog, I'm busy.
Last edited:
thank gawd he was teasing me 
