Outhouse etiquette, training and rules that can save you.

[chaparrito]

I have friends who have the last existing outhouse permit in our county. When the county issued it about 15 years ago, none of the county agents even knew they could issue one or what form to use. My buddy had done his homework and they had to approve him. It's really nice.

 

[bigolddave]

Our deer camp in the UP has quite a nice outhouse. Two holer, with a seat on the one side. The crew who built the cabin (and outhouse) included some electricians. There is a buried wire from the cabin, so you can turn on the light and a heater from inside, and let it warm up before you make the walk. Really helps in late November; sometimes it has been well below zero. The switch in the cabin even has a little light on it, so you can tell if the power has been left on.

 

[rburg]

Kind of an appropriate time for this thread. Its been warm around here with highs up in the 60s and even 70s. So my DIL was working out in the yard and realized the 3 year old hadn't been seen in a few minutes. She came around the corner of the garage and there the little guy was, pants around his ankle. She asked him what he was doing and he told her it was summer and he had to go pee. I see nothing wrong with it at all. I'm even kind of proud of him for it.

One of the rules of life is never build a house where you can't pee in your own yard. Then I went and did it. Too much road visibility. There was even a stupid, make that really stupid cop a few years ago. He busted a mother who's kid was peeing in their yard. Young kid, too. Folks are just too squeamish these days.

And I belong to a jeep club. We've got a sister club up north in Ohio. Well one evening most everyone was drinking more than they should have. One of their members, Chief, had just bought his wife a set of dentures. And sure enough, she went to the outhouse and then puked her guts out, right down the hole. So Chief had saved for a long time for them, so he got a rake from somewhere and went to the stream side of the "pit" and just started raking all the "stuff" out the back. And soon enough he hit paydirt. So he first washed them in the stream water, then took them to their camper and soaked them in a jar of water and clorox bleach. It took her a few days, but she resumed wearing them proudly. Only change was when she was drinking, she took them out for the evening. Made sense.

We moved to the city before I had many memories of the outhouse. I think that's a good thing. Using the outhouse at 4H camp and other places just never bothered me much. Ya just do it and move on.

When we were newlyweds we lived up by campus. My wife was a nurse and the Hospital was nearby. It made good sense. One of our friends had gotten married then too, and bought a house in an older area, but real close. Working with him one night we knocked out a wall upstairs and found a treasure trove of old photos. One of those was of the back yard and it clearly showed an outhouse in the middle of the backyard. So out we went, looking. And sure enough, there were path stones leading to the former site. So our next woodworking project was to build a replica outhouse. A thing of beauty. Out of nice cedar, no less. The only thing we didn't do was cut a hole. We had no intention of it being functional, it was for show. And about a week later the building inspector appeared to cite my buddy. Apparently even replica outhouses were forbidden in the big city. It was a losing battle. And we learned the next door neighbors were the ones who complained!

So the buddy's wife was an artist. And on the old garage she painted a really nice primer coat, then went on to paint a toilet with a very large black lady seated, nude! Then she painted a bunch of filies buzzing around. Of course that got the neighbors all up in arms, again. But they soon learned that art was allowed. And even if it was of something not allowed, the painting was. Worse than that, it was what they saw anytime they used their back yard for picnics or sitting out. They finally put up a privacy fence to block the view. But they forgot to get a building permit to erect it. So the same inspector had to come out and order the fence removed. They were allowed to put it back up, but only after removing it and getting a permit. You wonder how wars start?

 

[shell627]

My wife and I used to shoot 3 gun at a range on a friends farm.For 30 some years it was only guys shooting out there and we only needed a tree line.One year the guys built a outhouse and put up a sign calling it the VICKI memorial outhouse .My wife was very happy with it but pointed out she was still alive and not in a hurry to not be.So they changed the name to Vickis honorary outhouse .They even put in a real toilet seat that raised and lowered she was very touched by their consideration.

 

[Bugkiller99]

Uncles finally talked Ma (my Grandma) into installing indoor plumbing after Grampa died. But still had the outhouse. No toilet in the house, THAT was not something civilized folks did inside the house.

 

[gman51]

Back in the early 70's some of the road side rests on the interstate highways actually had nice restroom buildings built over big holes and they had stalls and doors but still all the seats were over the same hole in the ground. Ye sir in the winter there sure was a very cold draft coming up through the toilet seats. They did have toilet paper at least.
My mom grew up on a farm and they had an outhouse. She hated the outhouse because she had gotten bit by a spider while in one.
I can't imagine having to get up out of a warm bed in the night to go trudge through snow and sub zero temps to use an outhouse. I heard they would keep a bucket inside at night just for that reason.
Did the two seaters at least have a divider wall between the two seats? Or did they have a deck of cards handy inside for two handed rummy?

 

[finesse_r]

We were really poor. I never saw a real two seater before. We only had the one hole out house.

 

[Alpo]

My nephew, at around about the age of 12, came home one day from a neighbor's. He'd wet his pants. His Mama was quite upset. 12-year-old kids ain't supposed to pee their pants. So she's gonna tear him up.

And he tells her it ain't his fault. He was down at Jonathon's, and had to pee, so came home but didn't make it in time. So she asked why he didn't use the bathroom at Jonathon's.

He said that "His mama won't let us". Says that she throws Jonathon outside after breakfast, and he ain't allowed back in until suppertime.

She says, "What's Jonathon do when he has to pee?"

Uses a tree.

So, howcome you didn't use a tree?

He says, "You told me that I wasn't allowed to. We were civilized, and peeing in the yard at someone's house was trashy, and I must not do it."

 

[Ed Fowler]

Wish I had taken a picture of it, one family had two outhouses, the summer one was over their main irrigation ditch.

 

[WardenRoss]

Had to use one on a motorcycle trip in Tennessee......

 

[model70hunter]

Forgot about the lime sack in the corner.

No wall between the 2 seaters.

Back in the day families were large, 2 seats speeds up service, Micky D's borrowed the idea to make 2 drive thru lines.

Mom's youngest sister married a Naval Officer. Aunty grew up with an outhouse and catalogs, her daughters were ignorant of the fact. They came to spend a week when he retired. the daughters volunteered to burn some paper grocery sack and packaging materials. We all knew the 55 gallon barrel with the screen mesh top was for burning. They walked right by it and dumped the stuff down the outhouse hole lit it up and came back in. Someone noticed smoke emanating from the outhouse. It was a Chinese fire drill, 5 gallon buckets of water and hooking garden hose together to fight the blaze, it was saved, charred oak walls, funky smell and all. They finally realized they had come drastically close to forcing a family to share trees with the bears....

 

[finesse_r]

He says, "You told me that I wasn't allowed to. We were civilized, and peeing in the yard at someone's house was trashy, and I must not do it."

Hardly a day goes by that I don’t behave in an uncivilized manner towards some tree on this place. I just am not civilized enough to pee my pants rather than someone’s tree.

 

[Alpo]

Maybe your mama didn't hit as hard as my sister-in-law did.

 

[tcon]

My 85 year old dad grew up with an outhouse. He recently described to me how he would tear a page from the catalog and "work it" for about 5 minutes so that it had a softer texture.

 

[keith44spl]

They Shoot Outhouses...Don't They?

I was about 12 or thirteen the summer that the rural electric company ran the power line near the old place and Dad paid them extra to get a line run to the main house. Someone in the family help put in the service and a 60 amp fuse box.

We had electric lights and pretty soon someone gave us a big old multi-channel radio. It was in a cabinet about five feet high with about a dozen knobs on it and one big dial that turned a needle under a bezel for a bunch of different bands. We could pick up ship to shore radio traffic, aircraft transmissions in flight somewhere. But, the best was on the A.M. clear channel 650 WSM or maybe WLS in Chicago.

With all these modern conveniences, the folks thought it was time for us to join the 20th century…So, we got indoor plumbing! Yes sirree no more drawing water from the well, no more ice in the water bucket on cold winter mornings. With the wonder of the jet pump and electricity, water will run right out of a spicket. I mean right there in the kitchen.

Progressive folks ain’t never satisfied. Next came the bathroom, an outhouse in the house…No more wasper stings nor black widows to squish. No more barefooted mid-nite strolls on muddy or frozen path. We were in tall cotton as they say.

So, one Saturday morning after breakfast, my older brother and I were fixin’ to go to town to the feed store. As we were mountin’ up the pickup truck I saw Billy Lee had aquired a pretty good lookin’ rifle, it was laying on the truck seat with the muzzle in the floorboard.

I says,”Whatcha got there?”
Billy Lee, “Ought Six.”
Me, “What kind is it?”
BL, “Winchester 95.”
Me, “Betcha a dollar you can’t even hit that outhouse with it!”
BL, “Kid, get your dollar out!”

Well he loads ‘er up and is fixin’ to cut loose, “A dollar and a half says you can’t hit the hinges!” I gig him.

Five shots later, the top hinge is cut loose and the bottom one is about to let go…

Just about that time our Dad came charging out of the back door of the house, “Boys, what in the cat hair y’all shooting at?”

I said, “Nothing much, just that old outhouse. Besides it was Bill doing the shooting.”

Well the old man takes one look at the thing with the door just a barely a hanging, his face is getting’ redder by the second.

I don’t think he was all that mad, just really aggregated. He says,” Boys, y’all done shot the 'mierda casa' to rag dolls, somebody might have wanted to use that just for old time sake!”

Billy Lee tried to state his defense,”Dave bet me a buck and a half I couldn’t hit it!”

Dad just gave us one of those looks and said,”Well, I’d say you sure nuff got that done there Son." Now turning his attention to yours truly, "David, give your brother his dollar and a half, so he can pay for some new hinges at the hardware in town. Your gonna stay here and get that door ready to go back up.”

That kinda put a stop to us shootin’ at any of the 'mierda' around the house…

Su Amigo,
Dave

 

[Just another 22 shooter]

Can't remember exactly, but I think we finally got indoor bathroom when I was 8 or 9. After reading the op, I just realized how affluent our family was.....we had a 3 holer.

 

[Ed Fowler]

Archaeological field summer camp, we had a bunch of city kids one summer. The outhouse stood right out in the sage brush with no other buildings or people or at least 10 for miles. With all the people it was getting full, the boss noted this fact at breakfast and assigned three of the city kids to dig another hole.

Darn if they did not dig a second hole next to the outhouse and then shovel all the goo out of the old hole, into the new hole, toss some dirt over it and sit the outhouse back over the old hole. It never occurred to them to just move the outhouse over the new hole.

The outhouse faced away from the camp and had no door, instead it had a flag that was raised when someone went in and lowered when they left. Woe be unto anyone who failed to lower the flag when they were done.

 

[soFlaNative]

First time I was 8 years old visiting relations in Mercer Co. PA. Rough cut, if I recall but south Fla. suburban kid caught on quick... give a call when approaching and a couple kicks on the wall upon arrival. Summertime so I caught a break on the weather. Only near mishap was getting nosed in the rear by one of the hounds during the return trip. Nearly had to turn around and go back for seconds.

 

[wundudnee]

This is a picture my son took of an out house in Iraq. He said the seat was a cut cross section of a French missile. He was looking for weapons of mass destruction.

 

[Nevada Ed]

We had one at the summer cabin in South lake Tahoe back in the 50's as a back up if there were too many people invited. Usually the kids had to climb the hill and the adults got the new
indoor unit with running water.

As I type, there is still a very old two hole unit up in the Elko Nevada area, that serves our deer hunting camp, that is way out in the sticks.

My father has a sense of humor and has a sign placed on the inside of the door. To this day I do not know if it was in jest or he was serious...... ??