A question on gun etiquette.

[ChattanoogaPhil]

I certainly hope that your party is no subjected to home invasion robbery, and if it were, God forbid, I hope too that the robbers will have the good manners to allow you to go get your firearm from your car, and leave peaceably.

As long as you're not expecting to need a gun why bother carrying it?

I only carry when I go somewhere that I'm pretty sure I'll get into a gun fight.

 

[Old TexMex]

Libations and fireworks in a crowd of people you don't know. Hmmm. My inclination would be to join the chorus of people saying to leave it locked in the car. Here in Louisiana, permission from the homeowner is required. Can't speak for your state.

You know your La. State law sir. and that's a good thing. Surprisingly few do in this regard.
I do not consider being licensed,trained and armed to be bad manners,(as some here seem to) but I will not violate the law, nor will I behave in a manner my host feels offensive.

 

[Old TexMex]

As long as you're not expecting to need a gun why bother carrying it?

I only carry when I go somewhere that I'm pretty sure I'll get into a gun fight.

Danged if that ain't right. My boss man throws some wingdings and me and a couple others there are the ones packing (the band might be armed, they look pretty shady) and that Federal Judge over there, I KNOW he's a crook....
and there's always those lawyers....nahh, Phil, ya can't trust any of 'em

 

[TTSH]

Honestly, I fear the people who reply he should leave the gun in the car are engaging in the kind of thinking that gun control people are trapped in. They assume that anybody who carries a gun is most likely a bad guy.

Oh Lordy Ziggy. Do you really want to go there? Come on man.

 

[Shorty 45 MK2]

Do what you thinks best. Honestly I had never thought about this.

I would probably carry and not say anything but if asked would answer honestly, if the host didn't want me carrying I would respect their wishes and put it in the car.

I don't see how it's rude to not tell the home owner that I'm carrying. Personally I just assume everyone is carrying, so the whole "stranger carrying" idea doesn't bother me. Do you worry about all the strangers that are shopping with you at the store?

Now if someone pulled out a pistol and started showing it off and being unsafe I'd leave or if it was at my place I'd ask them to put it in their car or leave.

Now if i knew the host did not like or want guns in their home I wouldn't carry or just wouldn't go.

Thanks for giving me something to think about and for a different view on things.

 

[BC38]

FWIW, in your shoes I would have your girlfriend talk to her friends, the party hosts, and inform them that I carry concealed wherever I go - especially among strangers.

See what their reaction is. If they are cool with it then you're good to go. Ask them to keep it on the QT if you don't want to have it be a topic of party discussion.

If they are not comfortable with it then your choices as a considerate guest are to either lock it in the car or don't attend the party. Personally I'd probably leave it locked in the car if they are uncomfortable with me carrying, but if the atmosphere seemed at all dicey I might not stay long.

I'm a non-drinker too, so if a bunch of people I don't know are consuming excessive amounts of alcohol at a social function like this, I get uncomfortable and don't stick around long most of the time. But that's just me.

 

[kbm6893]

I carry wherever I go. If I go to your house, I'm carrying a gun. If you discover that I have a gun, and get upset and tell me that I cannot be in your house with a gun, I go get in my car and leave.

I would not ask you for permission to carry in your house, any more than I would ask the manager of Wally-world if I could carry in the store.

If you don't want me in your house with a gun, I'll be happy to leave.

Would you ask the homeowner if he had a problem with you going commando instead of wearing your tighty-whities?

How about asking him if it would upset him if you put some Grecian Formula in your hair before the party?

There are some things I don't ask permission for. Some things that I feel are none of anyone else's business.

Walmart is a public place. A persons home is as private as can be and should be respected. Do you carry in places where it is illegal to, like a school or a court?

And just to clarify, if you know a person or a business does not want you carrying, but you knew they would never know you were carrying (say an LCP or a Derringer in your pocket), would you disregard their wishes and do it anyway since they're not gonna know about it, or would you only respect their wishes and leave if they actually told you that you must disarm to come into their home? So if your wife dragged you to the company Christmas party, and you knew that the host did not want guns in his home or at the business, would you not come or would you pick the smallest gun and go with the "what they don't know can't hurt them" policy?

The party is long over, but in the future, ask your girlfriend to ask the question ahead of the event.

We all assume that just because a person has a gun, that he is responsible. Earlier in this post, somebody said his guest "pulled out a 9MM". Some of the rejects I have seen at the range shouldn't even carry a water gun. They sure wouldn't be in my house with a gun.

Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. You could have brought an American flag to the party and threw it into the grill to burn, but would you do that too?

 

[kbm6893]

I am new to this forum. And to the world of SD and CCW. But I have spent a lot of time studying Second Amendment Rights.

Was very surprised to see a third of the people on this forum feel the poster should leave his gun at home or in the car.

He is quite obviously a law abiding citizen carrying legally.

He seems to be living in state where you don't have to ask your host for permission to carry in his home (btw does anybody know which states those are?)

And yet most people replied that he should leave his gun in the car.

That answer seems to imply that a gun is something threatening/menacing/bad somehow.

But, to quote the great old Charlton Heston: "Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody - except bad people."

If you trust someone enough to invite them into your home, be it directly, or because he is the guest of someone you trust, then why would you not be happy for him to carry?

Honestly, I fear the people who reply he should leave the gun in the car are engaging in the kind of thinking that gun control people are trapped in. They assume that anybody who carries a gun is most likely a bad guy.

Imho, if you don't let other good people carry in your home, or if you somehow demand that they ask for your permission, you are basically the same as those states that don't honor CCW permits from other states.

Best wishes

Ziggy

Are the thousands of accidental shootings that happen every year done by "bad people". Evil intent has nothing to do with it.

And how well did you know Charlton Heston? You're gonna base your opinion on a bad actor "Get your hands off me, you damn dirty apes!" And a paid spokesperson for the NRA?

And there is no higher authority than the authority of a home owner in his own home. I don't care if you have a shiny new "CCW Permit Holder" badge in your pocket. My home is my rules. And anybody that I personally know that I can trust is welcome in my home with their weapon. I know them and trust them. Some boyfriend of a girl at my job? I don't know him and he's not carrying a weapon in my home. Because I'm not gonna risk some idiot doing something that causes an injury or death, because ultimately, I am responsible for what happens in my home, just like the owner of a house can get sued if a drunken guest kills somebody on his ride home.

 

[ibewbull]

If you come into my home armed and I don't know it and the SHTF and you pull a gun, I may have to shoot you. I don't know you. You are now an armed intruder, a threat, and have become a target. Something to think about.[/QUOTE


Try thinking on this a bit more please.

Seems like a knee jerk response to me.

 

[jimmyj]

Hi:
I carry concealed, EVERYWHERE.
Folks that are "Anti-Gun" I do not inflict myself on them.
I have a large list of friends, and no "Anti Guns Folks" are on that list.

 

[Grayfox]

I see y'all are still flailing away at this poor dead horse.
So just a couple of more things.

Just because someone took a class and managed to shoot a passing score does not mean that they are either "properly trained" or a "responsible gun owner". I think every one of us knows or has seen a person with a Handgun Permit and wondered "Why is this idiot armed?"
If you've ever witnessed a permit class on qualification day at the range, you've no doubt hoped that one or two of them would fail. Some of them can be downright scary.
Until I get to know you, your attitudes and behavior with a concealed firearm, I believe the safest course is to assume you're a moron and keep an eye on you. Hopefully you will prove otherwise.

I'm a firm believer in the doctrine that A Man's Home Is His Castle. Its your house and your rules. I may not always agree, but I will honor and respect your wishes. Likewise, I won't assume that just because I think something is ok that you will too. If there is the slightest doubt, I will ask and get permission first out of respect for you and your home.

The party was last Saturday. As it turns out, when I picked up my girlfriend she informed me that she had already discussed my firearm with our hosts and they were just fine with it. So I kept the gun on me. While I was fully aware that our hosts knew I was armed, the subject never came up for discussion.
Good food, good folks and a good time was had by all.
And despite all the worry and warnings, it turns out that I didn't need to shoot anybody.

 

[BAM-BAM]

.

The party was last Saturday. As it turns out, when I picked up my girlfriend she informed me that she had already discussed my firearm with our hosts.....

Things that make me go hummmmmmmm.......

My "gut reaction" is to let her know that's not her role in your life....

I believe in being discreet about concealed carry..... I would wonder who else she's told.... and why.

 

[TTSH]

And despite all the worry and warnings, it turns out that I didn't need to shoot anybody.

Son of a gun. I am shocked, SHOCKED!!!

I would have bet anything there was going to be at least one or two shootouts!

Glad you made it out of there alive!

 

[Harrydale]

It's funny, I wonder if way deep down we all don't feel the same way:

"I trust ME to carry a gun but I'm a little nervous about YOU having one."

I for one will admit to feeling that way.

 

[BAM-BAM]

It's funny, I wonder if way deep down we all don't feel the same way:

"I trust ME to carry a gun but I'm a little nervous about YOU having one."

I for one will admit to feeling that way.

Just part of the "An armed society is a polite society" thing!

Carrying for 37 years; without a single shootout,...... and counting!

 

[LenS]

It's funny, I wonder if way deep down we all don't feel the same way:

"I trust ME to carry a gun but I'm a little nervous about YOU having one."

I for one will admit to feeling that way.

Have you ever taken a defensive handgun course where the students move with loaded guns in hand? Yes, I found myself observing where they were, how they handled the gun before I was comfortable with it as there were only 3 ROs watching ~20 students (only 1 of whom I knew previously).

I'd say that it is natural to be wary until proven safe.

I had to have a "discussion" last week at the gun club when two members were being less than safe. One (retired MIL) went downrange to put up targets as his SO (LEO) went to the bench and was handling a firearm. His response to me was "those rules for the lowest common denominator!" Do you think I'm going to take my eyes off them when I see them on the range???

 

[kbm6893]

I see y'all are still flailing away at this poor dead horse.
So just a couple of more things.

Just because someone took a class and managed to shoot a passing score does not mean that they are either "properly trained" or a "responsible gun owner". I think every one of us knows or has seen a person with a Handgun Permit and wondered "Why is this idiot armed?"
If you've ever witnessed a permit class on qualification day at the range, you've no doubt hoped that one or two of them would fail. Some of them can be downright scary.
Until I get to know you, your attitudes and behavior with a concealed firearm, I believe the safest course is to assume you're a moron and keep an eye on you. Hopefully you will prove otherwise.

I'm a firm believer in the doctrine that A Man's Home Is His Castle. Its your house and your rules. I may not always agree, but I will honor and respect your wishes. Likewise, I won't assume that just because I think something is ok that you will too. If there is the slightest doubt, I will ask and get permission first out of respect for you and your home.

The party was last Saturday. As it turns out, when I picked up my girlfriend she informed me that she had already discussed my firearm with our hosts and they were just fine with it. So I kept the gun on me. While I was fully aware that our hosts knew I was armed, the subject never came up for discussion.
Good food, good folks and a good time was had by all.
And despite all the worry and warnings, it turns out that I didn't need to shoot anybody.

Glad you made it home alive!

I wonder if all those who are worried so much about home invasions that they choose to disregard the wishes of those who have a problem with guns in their private residence would care to share their shootouts and home invasion stories!

 

[Grayfox]

My "gut reaction" is to let her know that's not her role in your life....

Bam-Bam,
GF works with and sees the Lady of the House we were at on a daily basis. She was also aware of my concerns. So she made a discreet inquiry on my behalf. Nothing to worry about.

 

[kbm6893]

Have you ever taken a defensive handgun course where the students move with loaded guns in hand? Yes, I found myself observing where they were, how they handled the gun before I was comfortable with it as there were only 3 ROs watching ~20 students (only 1 of whom I knew previously).

I'd say that it is natural to be wary until proven safe.

I had to have a "discussion" last week at the gun club when two members were being less than safe. One (retired MIL) went downrange to put up targets as his SO (LEO) went to the bench and was handling a firearm. His response to me was "those rules for the lowest common denominator!" Do you think I'm going to take my eyes off them when I see them on the range???

There was a guy on another forum that had attended TWO "advanced pistol courses". When the debate about a manual safety came up, he said his instructor, a former Marine, advised him that a gun with a safety would (not COULD) get you killed, and that carrying a TDA firearm with the hammer back and safety OFF was no different than carrying a Glock!

So this guy, with an elitist (he even said "Jeez, people. Take a class before you hurt somebody") attitude is walking around with the hammer back on his weapon and the safety off!

Former police or military training means nothing. I've seen some cops do some dumb things, and soldiers as well. And we all know that simply passing a basic qualification takes about 4 IQ points higher than a Rheesus monkey has. Until I trust you, I DON'T!

And I've had my share of bad experiences at the range. I shoot alone now. First thing in the morning or when there's a foot of snow on the ground. In and out with no problems.

GrayFox, good for you for thinking of others and respecting the wishes of your host!

 

[Moe Mentum]

Its just an accessory, like a cell phone or pocket knife. Unless you pull it out nobody will ever know. That's why they call it concealed.