Actual quotes from Govmt evaluations

HUGHP

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These could explain a lot:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

4. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't ever be."

5. "Works well when under constant supervision when cornered like a rat in a trap."

6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

11. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

13. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

14. "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

15. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

16. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

17. "He's been working with glue too much."

18. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

19. "He would argue with a signpost."

20. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

21. "When his IQ. reaches 50, he should sell."

22. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

23. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

24. "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

25. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

26. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

27. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

28. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

29. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

30. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

31. "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
 
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Although funny, this has been making the email circuit for some time and attributed to just about everything besides and including government evaluations . . . .
 
Most of the 31 evaluations sounds more like one boss or another I've known rather than a co-worker.
 
(former) Supervisor ratings:

"Suffers from delusions of marginal adequacy."

"Tries to walk on water, but only lies in puddles."

"Makes few mistakes because he never does anything."

"Can't teach, so we made him the administrator."

"Having no idea of the objective, he never reaches it."

"Has the most ingenious excuses for constant failure."

"Not only gets nothing done, wastes others' time."

"Will stop the most urgent project to accomplish routine tasks."

"Can expand any project to require special reports and overtime."
 
You'd think these are fake but they're probably not. I used to do data entry for a company that processed "360 evaluations", meaning your boss, coworkers and subordinates all got to get their licks in anonymously on your annual review. And then they gave the printout to the employee being reviewed, complete with the direct quotes. Boy, they could be brutal!
 
Originally posted by BarbC:
Boy, they could be brutal!

I enjoy brutal honesty. I'm guilty of using it myself at times.

I can see me in my next job on my career ladder. Instead of retiring, I'll become a WalMart greeter!
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Old sunshine himself!
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First day, first few minutes:

Customer: smiles.

Dick: "Why'd you drag your fat ass here? Shouldn't you be spending your mornings and afternoons at a gym?"

Customer: "Gasp".

Dick: "And how'd you get the nerve to go shopping in your PJs?" " Go back home and dress properly."

Customer, near fainting: "no one has ever said anything like that to me before!"

Dick: "Well, its about time you know the truth." " Besides, don't you have enough cheap chinese junk cluttering up your house?"

Guess I'd be in for a short employment stint.

Honesty is the best policy.
 
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