Barred from concealed EDC at home

[Wise_A]

Violent crime overall has decreased over the years. That being said, statistics like you posted, don't really tell the whole story.

Actually, I didn't post them. I pulled them out of X's to make a point about how the SD community portrays inside-the-home incidents and markets itself. And frankly, the absurdity thereof.

Here--this is from X and dlombard both. Check out this goofy picture:

They're appealing to a certain market segment that spends money on these things--the home ninja. They portray a horde of marauders, coming for the women. Then they use false notions of machismo to sell the product, whether it's a magazine or a video or a "class".

Take that article, for instance. The third sentence dives right into "rape". And just look at the cooky name collectively invented for the crime: a home "invasion".

Unfortunately, their marketing bleeds through into their tactics. Using that article as an example, it failed to introduce two key concepts. The first being that "the little lady" our masculine hero is so valiantly defending should be a part of the plan--not just passively standing behind the man. That even if they're not going to be armed themselves, that it's maybe a good idea to have a gun accessible to them. Backup's nice to have, and as I'm fond of saying, losing a fight is always on the table.

The other is that, after mentioning the importance of physical security, they fail to mention the classic home defense scenario: the push-in burglary. Why go through all that trouble of kicking in a door, not knowing what's on the other side, when you can ring the doorbell? Not to mention, even regular front doors are hard to kick in--that's why police use battering rams and Halligan bars when they can. But the doorbell gets the door open easily, quickly and quietly, and lets you scope out the situation. With luck the "man of the house" will be the one that opens the door, letting you evaluate your chances and precluding him from retrieving a weapon. Even if he's armed, you're starting the fight with him in arm's reach.

Still--not a word about a "buddy system" for the door, or my personal choice, called "Not Opening the Damn Door".

I had a noise in the night I couldn't identify so I grabbed my gun and discovered it was my wife who returned to the bedroom at the EXACT same time I figured it out so my gun facing the door way, got pointed at her for a millisecond before I moved it and she freaked. We had a very troublesome couple of days and some nasty conversation about the incident. She almost got fired for her responses and emotional thinking in which she was not listening to me nor getting what I was saying about her requests. I refused to put our house in danger do to her unreasonable requests. She has a loaded gun on her side of the bed and carries too. I mentioned this to my sister and one brother. Naturally my sister sided with my wife and my brother side with me and told my sister she was wrong. My sister is not a gun girl. Once she calmed down, we were able to get it resolved

So let me get this straight. You grabbed a gun, pointed it at your wife before identifying her or realizing that she wasn't in bed next to you, and the fact that she's angry is her problem? Her responses "almost got [her] fired"?

You "refused to put [y]our house in danger due to her unreasonable requests"?

Buddy, the biggest danger to your house right now is you.

 

[Kframerbluvr]

A Glock .40 of some sort is on my body from sunup to bedtime. Concealed unless I am in uniform. My pants with the holstered pistol is next to my bed when I am there at night. Been doing this for decades. The bride has a 4" M10 for HD that stays in our bedroom. Her limited hand strength restricts her to six trigger strokes on a DA revolver. I just hope she can get to it on time if an incident occurs. She will not consider a carry permit. I should bring up the subject of her carrying at home to see if she might be receptive. I figure my Colt DS would work for that role.

 

[DragonDoc]

They'll move out? One less security risk to worry about.

 

[ofnsaz]

If the door got kicked in three nights from now do you think she'd consider it 'excessive' to carry a gun?

Time to get a better door.

The home is one of the few places where YOU get to choose how difficult it is to get in to. FWIW, I know a lot of folks who carry. I don't know anyone who carries while at home.

If anyone wishes to do so, have a great time. But there is a lot more to being safe than just having a gun on your person 24/7.

I find the "But it's your LIFE!" argument ridiculous. By that argument, we all ought to drive armored trucks to work. We all ought to work out, watch what we eat, and ice cream sales should plummet. Kids shouldn't be allowed to ride bicycles, adults shouldn't be allowed to ride motorcycles and no one would ever smoke.

We all do things involving at least some risk and do so for convenience or because it is fun. In most places, you are more likely to die in traffic than from a home invasion. Folks are more likely to die prematurely from being overweight than from not carrying a gun 24/7.

As for my wife & I: After 30 years of marriage, we don't spend a lot of time making demands of the other. We make compromises, but our marriage would have ended decades ago if we issued ultimatums to each other.

 

[BE Mike]

Time to get a better door.

The home is one of the few places where YOU get to choose how difficult it is to get in to. FWIW, I know a lot of folks who carry. I don't know anyone who carries while at home.

If anyone wishes to do so, have a great time. But there is a lot more to being safe than just having a gun on your person 24/7.

I find the "But it's your LIFE!" argument ridiculous. By that argument, we all ought to drive armored trucks to work. We all ought to work out, watch what we eat, and ice cream sales should plummet. Kids shouldn't be allowed to ride bicycles, adults shouldn't be allowed to ride motorcycles and no one would ever smoke.

We all do things involving at least some risk and do so for convenience or because it is fun. In most places, you are more likely to die in traffic than from a home invasion. Folks are more likely to die prematurely from being overweight than from not carrying a gun 24/7.

As for my wife & I: After 30 years of marriage, we don't spend a lot of time making demands of the other. We make compromises, but our marriage would have ended decades ago if we issued ultimatums to each other.

You may have friends who discreetly carry at home or have a gun in an out-of-the-way location that can be accessed or BOTH! It is still a semi-free country and you can only speak from your perspective. I try not to judge others on how, when and where they carry. I agree that the chances of having a home invasion may be low, but IMHO it is, "Better to have a gun and never need it, than to need a gun and not have it." I will agree with you regarding ultimatums. Congratulations on your long marriage (mine has lasted longer). Compromise works both ways, though. Capitulation isn't compromise. My wife was scared of guns when we first got married, because she had never been exposed to them. Events and time brought her around to being not only pro-gun, but to getting training, a handgun license and competing.

 

[ofnsaz]

You may have friends who discreetly carry at home or have a gun in an out-of-the-way location that can be accessed or BOTH! It is still a semi-free country and you can only speak from your perspective...

Actually, I talk to the people I know, so I'm referring to what I know.

All of us always speak from our perspective.

We have plenty of rattlesnakes where I live. I killed on the other day that was coiled up on the front porch. I generally prefer to ignore rattlesnakes than to kill them, but not when they are at my door.

Where I live, I'm more likely to be bit by a rattlesnake than have my home invaded. I suppose I could wear knee-high, heavy leather boots, just in case. After all, better to wear them and not need them than to need them and not have them. It only takes one bite, after all! Why take chances with my life?

But I don't wear knee-high, heavy leather boots. I also don't wear a beekeeper's suit when passing next to a tree near our back door which literally is humming with bees at this time of year. The bees CAN get aggressive, but the risk is low and a beekeeper's suit is uncomfortable. Of course, I could be badly stung by hundreds of bees later today...but I'll take my chances.

I have no objections to someone wearing a gun in their house. I prefer that to someone stashing loaded guns around. It is safer to carry than to stash because someone who is carrying controls who can get hold of the gun.

What I reject is that it is a necessary precaution that all should follow. And if one's wife strongly objects, then a drag out fight with ultimatums isn't a good way to proceed. As you wrote, "Events and time brought her around to being not only pro-gun, but to getting training, a handgun license and competing." Patience, trying to get her to spend some time around guns, and discussing - without ultimatums from either side - is a better path. Life is full of compromises, and a good marriage involves a lot of MUTUALLY acceptable compromises.

For example, the OP might consider seeing if his wife objects to him carrying a NAA 22 in a pocket holster. It is a gun I CCW with fairly often in my low-threat environment. Easy to conceal, Not at all threatening. But a 22 in the face at 3' isn't something to sneeze at!

Were I to need it, I'd prefer a 686 to the little 22. But I'm not willing to haul the 686 everywhere, while the NAA 22 can always slip in my pocket. Maybe if the OP's wife got used to the 22, she'd become more open to him carrying a J-frame, or an LCP, or some other option.

Some years back, I was told that if the front door is barred shut, look for the back door. If a co-worker, boss, wife, horse, dog, child, etc just CANNOT handle the thought of X, then maybe try 1/2 X, or 1/4 X, or explore to see what they CAN handle. Carrying a gun inside one's home is not so essential to most people's safety that they need to insist on doing so TODAY.

 

[BE Mike]

Actually, I talk to the people I know, so I'm referring to what I know.

All of us always speak from our perspective.

We have plenty of rattlesnakes where I live. I killed on the other day that was coiled up on the front porch. I generally prefer to ignore rattlesnakes than to kill them, but not when they are at my door.

Where I live, I'm more likely to be bit by a rattlesnake than have my home invaded. I suppose I could wear knee-high, heavy leather boots, just in case. After all, better to wear them and not need them than to need them and not have them. It only takes one bite, after all! Why take chances with my life?

But I don't wear knee-high, heavy leather boots. I also don't wear a beekeeper's suit when passing next to a tree near our back door which literally is humming with bees at this time of year. The bees CAN get aggressive, but the risk is low and a beekeeper's suit is uncomfortable. Of course, I could be badly stung by hundreds of bees later today...but I'll take my chances.

I have no objections to someone wearing a gun in their house. I prefer that to someone stashing loaded guns around. It is safer to carry than to stash because someone who is carrying controls who can get hold of the gun.

What I reject is that it is a necessary precaution that all should follow. And if one's wife strongly objects, then a drag out fight with ultimatums isn't a good way to proceed. As you wrote, "Events and time brought her around to being not only pro-gun, but to getting training, a handgun license and competing." Patience, trying to get her to spend some time around guns, and discussing - without ultimatums from either side - is a better path. Life is full of compromises, and a good marriage involves a lot of MUTUALLY acceptable compromises.

For example, the OP might consider seeing if his wife objects to him carrying a NAA 22 in a pocket holster. It is a gun I CCW with fairly often in my low-threat environment. Easy to conceal, Not at all threatening. But a 22 in the face at 3' isn't something to sneeze at!

Were I to need it, I'd prefer a 686 to the little 22. But I'm not willing to haul the 686 everywhere, while the NAA 22 can always slip in my pocket. Maybe if the OP's wife got used to the 22, she'd become more open to him carrying a J-frame, or an LCP, or some other option.

Some years back, I was told that if the front door is barred shut, look for the back door. If a co-worker, boss, wife, horse, dog, child, etc just CANNOT handle the thought of X, then maybe try 1/2 X, or 1/4 X, or explore to see what they CAN handle. Carrying a gun inside one's home is not so essential to most people's safety that they need to insist on doing so TODAY.

A person can keep guns stashed around the house in locked containers that have quick access. Much of your response to me is on the one point where I agreed with you, i.e. ultimatums. I also stated that I didn't propose to tell other people when, where or if they should carry. You are free to do as you please without my judging you!

 

[Remmark54]

For those that thought I was unreasonable...The gun was pointed out the door of the bedroom at a 45 degree angle down when she walked into the door way which was at the EXACT moment I discovered she was not in bed. I did not "tap" her side of the bed as I didn't want to have her make noise as she has in the past when I have done so. I could have and maybe should have looked for her at the same time or instant reaching for the gun. She has been critical of me before for "checking" her first as those things turned out to be nothing. Her unreasonable requests were things like no round in the chamber etc.
She would not listen when I said the time line, for this event, would have allowed me to rack one in the chamber, but possibly give away our awareness etc. to the intruder. She said she didn't care about that. What you don't know is that her now ex-husband's 9mm ammo from working at the jail "somehow" ended up in her stove burners where they started going off when cooking one time while they were in divorce proceedings. She freaked on this event because of that event. We made a few changes in the procedures we will now use going forward. I'll do a body check on her first and she does not get to complain about being woke up because of it, no matter how it turns out. She did admit later that she over reacted. I said I could have body checked her first but didn't because of previous incidents with her. I started out being very calm they went off on her after repeated failures to be even remotely rational by her. I know it was a big deal. Lets resolve this like adults. She talked to my brother too and that helped. I did apologize multiple times during the discussions to no avail.
In retrospect I could/should have done it a little different.

 

[hdwhit]

dlombard wrote:
I've read about people who will EDC at home... Do you?

No.

I don't normally carry when I'm out and about.

About the only time I routinely carry is when I am traveling out of town on personal business (my principal client considers business travel to be duty time and does not allow employees/contractors to be armed).

 

[hdwhit]

The other night my son had not locked the front door when he came home and someone tried the door. They were met by our Turkish Van (a breed of cat, and you would do better to tangle with a Rottweiler wearing a meat suit) so before I could retrieve my gun the intruder had decided there were better places to be.

Multiple lines of defense is always superior to reliance on just one.

 

[hdwhit]

Wise A wrote:
Check out this goofy picture:

Well, in exactly the same way that the cosmetics industry doesn't sell make-up, they sell "hope", the personal defense industry doesn't sell security, they too sell "hope".

• Hope I'm home when the bad guys come
• Hope there aren't too many of them
• Hope they're not too well armed.
• Hope they're noisy so that I wake up
• Hope I can get to the gun
• Hope I remember to take off the safety
• Hope my hands aren't shaking too bad to aim.
• Hope I can hit the broad side of a barn with that hokey stance
• Hope my wife will think of me like this and not the guy wetting his pants when he stares down the barrel of a gun pointed at him for the first time.

If someone had broken in on my grandparents (as someone once did) they needed to hope they encountered my grandfather and not my grandmother since she was calmer under pressure and was by far the better shot.

 

[cb56]

Pocket carry a J frame. I do. Nobody knows or notices.
What's she gonna do frisk you every day?

 

[dougb1946]

The problem about statistics is that they are about other people-lots of other people, and have nothing to do with you if your home is the one that gets invaded.
If you carry with the right gun and holster combo, carrying at home is just not unstrapping when you get home. I keep my wallet all day, I have a knife in a pocket all day, and now I carry all day unless I deliberately take the gun off.
You spend more time at home than any where else, your wealth(??) is in the house and your family is in the house. Take my wallet on the street and get less than $20.

Pocket carry a J frame. I do. Nobody knows or notices.
What's she gonna do frisk you every day?

There is an up side.

 

[Wise_A]

Well, in exactly the same way that the cosmetics industry doesn't sell make-up, they sell "hope", the personal defense industry doesn't sell security, they too sell "hope".

You're more charitable than me. I class most of it under "entertainment".

 

[Rustyt1953]

What's she gonna do frisk you every day?

One could only hope.

 

[44MLBpilot]

You might also want to start locking that front door, partner.

Yup. Sad we have to think of that given our location, but we do now lock it every time....even it's for 5 minutes!

 

[AimHigher]

Fences, dogs, and guns. My wife has not complained about any of them, well sometimes the dogs.

Add motion sensing outdoor lighting, and strong doors and locks.

 

[dlombard]

Pocket carry a J frame. I do. Nobody knows or notices.
What's she gonna do frisk you every day?

Well that's the thing, right? It's not uncommon for me to find myself in a situation where things are getting a little handsy (not in a bad way), but I'd have for things to turn south real quick if my piece gets discovered on me.

I'm kind of hoping that if I am carrying every day (once I can legally do that sort of thing), there will end up being the factor of getting used to seeing it come and go all the time, to the point that it's no big deal.

 

[PALADIN85020]

One of the advantages of concealed carry is that the gun is CONCEALED. Your "monitor" should not necessarily know. My wife knows and approves, by the way.

Sometimes it's a question of size. When outside the home, I usually move up to a larger gun than the one I carry inside the home. That one is small for convenience, and it will do until I can grab more serious armament (after my dog makes the necessary introductions).

John

 

[Blue357]

Just picked up a S&W 36 "chiefs special" for conceal carry. I have to say that the thing is so small and comfortable to carry that I don't even take t off when I'm at home. Its so comfortable to carry I just don't even think about it being there and as I get used to carrying it I find myself feeling odd if I don't have it on me like that feeling you get when you leave your cell phone at home. I think that's how a true conceal carry gun should be. Something that you can always have on you that you forget is there. That's a gun your going to take everywhere. I see no reason to take it off when I'm at home unless I'm settled in for the evening, and even then why when it's so easy to carry? It goes in the nightstand with the 686P at bed time.

If my wife told me what I can and can't carry id pack my stuff and leave. I'm an adult and have no time for anyone else dictating what I do or don't do. Now on the other hand if your walking around open carrying a hog leg then she has a point, but if it's a small easily concealed J frame or something similar I wonder why it would even be a point of discussion as not a single person notices when I'm carry the little guy. Maybe ask yourself if what you are carrying makes you like like a fool akin to the guys open carrying AR15's at Sonic like idiots or does she just have a problem with you carrying discretely at home.