I've carried all of the revolvers below at one time or another. All of them are chambered in .357 Magnum, although I usually carry .38 +P loads in the J-frame revolvers since I can put rounds on target much faster with accuracy in a given interval of time than I can with the heavier recoiling .357 Magnum. The K and L frame sized revolvers can be shot much more effectively with a well chosen .357 Magnum load.
Left side, top to bottom - 2.5" S&W 686+, 2.75" Ruger Speed Six, 2.5" S&W Model 66;
Right side, top to bottom, - 3" Ruger SP 101, 3" S&W Model 60
The J frame sized revolver on the right are lighter (around 24-29 oz) while the revolvers on the left are much friendlier to shoot and offer 6 or 7 rounds rather than 5, but heavier in the 35-40 oz range.
I don't find the larger K and L frame sized revolvers to be any harder to conceal and with a good IWB holster and a well made double thickness leather carry belt they are comfortable in all day carry. I shoot a J frame better than the vast majority of people who own them, but I still shoot a K or L frame better with a +P or .357 Mag load.
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Statistically, 95% self defense shoots are over and done with in 5 shots or less at 5 yards or less in 5 seconds or less, so there isn't a burning need for a reload, nor much time to clear a malfunction, so what ever you carry has to be as close to 100% reliable as you can possibly get.
That percentage includes LEO involved shoots, and given that armed citizens should be looking to avoid going into dark and scary places looking for bad guys, the percentage of shoots where an armed citizen would need more than 5 rounds is even smaller.
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Shot placement is king when it comes to getting an assailant to stop, so you need to carry a handgun that fits you well, that you can shoot well, and that you will practice with on a regular basis.
Ideally you should select the type and model of handgun that fits you best, and then you should get it in the hardest hitting caliber you can shoot well.
Everything else is secondary.
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Personally, if I carry a revolver I hedge my bets with the 7 shot 686 loaded in .357 Magnum, and I practice using a speed loader.
If you make every administrative reload a tactical reload (whether you carry a revolver or a semi-auto) over time you'll begin to build a great deal of repetition and muscle memory that will make reloading faster. So while it's not of primary importance, it is something that can be added to a training routine easily.
If you plan to carry a revolver and a speed loader, do some research on the FBI Reload, the Universal Reload, and the Stress Fire Reload. They each have some pros and cons. The FBI is a bit faster, but less positive with a short ejector rod pistol in .357 Magnum. The Stress Fire Reload is slightly slower, but much more positive and it has some distinct tactical advantage. Once mastered, any of those techniques will produce a reload in not much more time than it takes to reload a semi-auto.
I'll also carry a Kimber Micro in a pocket holster at times, partially as a "New York Reload", but mostly to have an easy to hand off handgun for my wife, who shoots but does not normally carry. If we ever need to get back out of a situation she'll can be armed and lead the way back out while I cover the withdrawal.