Could you help a fella out.

[ameridaddy]

Don't call, go there.

if you can.
I had a similar situation thirty-seven years ago with an uncle who did for me many of the things Don did for you in your upbringing.
On almost an impulse, I drove from Cleveland to Baltimore to see him rather than call, and found him in a bad way - in a wheelchair, tubes all over the place, his formerly athletic frame skinny and wracked with pain. We had a talk, just him and I alone in his hospital room; he told me of his disease, the treatments and his grim prognosis. The conversation slid into fishing trips we shared, family events we shared, funny stories. Then he coughed, and coughed and coughed. I could see he was worn out, and I rose to take my leave, and he somehow wheeled his chair out to the doorway and grabbed my hand, looking at me and saying "Thanks, we had some good times, didn't we?" His big hand was hot and very dry. I can still feel his hand and see his bright blue eyes shining out of that gaunt face, then his right hand waving bye-bye as I turned and walked away.
I'm so glad I did that. I realized later that it was him who reached out and comforted me, not the other way around.
As others above have said, see if you can go see him, the sooner the better.

 

[GT_80]

Just start with small talk and it'll go from there

Agreed. You'll find the words. I bet he'll be so happy to hear from you it will be all chit chat, and he just wants to be comforted by recounting stories of camping and the fun times.

You'll know what to say as you go.

Good luck

 

[Muley Gil]

I'll tell you a little about my family. My mom dated a man who would become my stepdad. I hesitate to call him that, because I was closer to him than I was to my blood father, who was in the Navy and either lived in Hawaii or California when I was small.

The man I called Pappy came into my life when I was 13. He had 5 children of his own, but he and I formed a bond quickly. He talked my mom and grandmother into letting me have a .22 rifle when I was 15. He bought me my first muzzleloader. He joined a black powder club so that we could shoot together.

He fixed up the car that was given to me by my grandmother. This car had been my granddaddy's and meant a lot to me and my grandmother. We would go to hardware stores together so that he could help me pick out some tools. He tried to teach me how to work on cars; sadly, he was a much better teacher than I was a student. But what little I do know about wrench turning, I owe to him.

When I was in college and had, due to health issues, lost my chance to become a Marine Corps officer, he flew down to Auburn. He met my friends and my CO. He talked me into returning to school there in the fall.

When I needed help, he was always there, either in person or over the phone. About a year before he died, I told him how blessed I was to have him for a dad. He told me that not only did I need him, that he had needed me at that particular time in his life. I told him many times that I loved him and he in turn had told me that he loved me and was extremely proud of me in my phases of life-the Marine Corps, my police work and my serving as a police officer in Kosovo and as a police advisor in Afghanistan.

Wingmaster, call him now and talk. Then, if at all possible, go see him soon and tell him again, in person, what he meant to you. You will NEVER regret it.

And, my Pappy's name was also Don.

 

[nachogrande]

JUST MAKE THE CALL BEFORE IT MAY BE TOO LATE.

The words will come, or not. I believe most of us probly have at least one person overdue for a call. Thanks for the motivation. Good luck.

 

[vigil617]

All I will add is this: you honor us by asking what you have asked.

There is fine advice in the previous posts, and you seem inclined to follow up on it. That takes a certain amount of courage, and speaks very well of you.

I am sorry that your friend is so ill. Like others here, I think the contact from you will be a blessing to him and a balm for his body and soul. As he will be for you as well.

 

[richardw]

I guess if I made such a phone call I would start out saying how emotional I felt and ask for understanding if I cried. Then I would,explain briefly why it was an emotional moment. After that let it rip.

Anyone who criticizes a man for crying when emotional is a Cretan. I did plenty of crying over my Jarhad friends deaths in Nam. I never cried on the field of battle, but when it was over I would just sit down, put my face in my hands and cry. I was not alone in doing that. Marines are not ashamed to fight or to cry.

 

[Badger Matt]

None of us will live forever in this realm, so there is great comfort in knowing we'll live on in others when we slip these mortal coils. Randy, we know you'll call and be sure he knows...what he needs to know...

 

[hoc9sw]

Better thought out and worded advice here than what I could write.

I'm a terminal cancer patient. I've been bad about pushing people away, then regretting it. I've stopped that, as fewer make an effort to reach out to me now, and that hurts.

He will be happy to hear from you / see you (if possible). It gets lonely when you know time is getting shorter faster than you'd hope.

Just say "Hey, I'm just checking in - ". It will roll from there.

 

[DeathGrip]

Don was your Angel.

Guys like him are few and far between.

 

[Abbynormal]

Go see him. Hug him and thank him for everything he's done for you and your family. Cry, laugh, remember old stories and when you leave tell him you wouldn't be what you've become without his help, teaching and influence. Tell him you love him and will NEVER forget him.

Remember, you'll never have another chance to do it!

 

[daniel lawecki]

What you said here came from your heart. With that said tell him what you told us and that will warm his heart. Let him leave this world knowing he did you and your family right.

 

[carpriver]

Go visit him, tell him how much he means to you and your family. So what if you break down he will understand.

 

[Whitwabit]

I think you just told us YOU LOVE HIM .. Tell him that same thing !!!!

 

[4506517]

I don't know what to tell you to say, but I do know you will regret it if you do not talk to him.

Make the call. It will come to you without effort I think.

 

[andy52]

Don't call, go there.

^^^^^^^ what he said if it's at all possible for you to do so.

 

[fiasconva]

Let him know how you feel. It will be good for both of you and if you don't you will regret it.

 

[Rintimtin]

You already know what to say. Talk to him like your talking to an old friend speak from your heart it will just come natural after that.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

 

[Wingmaster]

Thanks Again for the advice guys. It really means a lot that you all commented.

After trying to call Don a couple of times I finally got a hold of him this morning.

I took some of all of your comments and basically just talked to an old friend. I think I was worried about saying goodbye more than anything. He made it easier for me. I really felt like he is at peace with his condition. He led the conversation away from it being all about saying goodbye.

I got the feeling that he smiled when I told him what an influence he had on my life and I thanked him.

He sounded pretty weak so I didn't keep him on the phone very long. I hope I get the chance to call him back and visit a little more.

Thanks again for the advice.

Wingmaster

 

[4506517]

Awesome!

I am super glad you decided to call. Even if it was difficult at first, that is easier than having to go the rest of your life wishing you had called.

I hope you get another chance to talk with him.

 

[Wingmaster]

I just got a call that Don passed away a couple of hours ago.

I have mixed feelings because he has been in terrible pain for the last couple weeks.

The world lost one of the good ones.

Until we meet again, Rest in peace my friend.