Don't fight over the small stuff. It makes you look petty to the judge. If you have kids focus and work hard on a fair parenting plan. Now days shared custody is very common. BE FAIR, but firm. If you fight to much over property only the lawyers will win.
One of my wife's colleagues is a divorce attorney. He says it causes a certain amount of insanity. DON'T get sucked into it. Get a decent attorney and listen to him. Check with others you know in the area. Not the fanciest office, but good reviews. Yes, they cost money, but being saddled with long term payments and losing property is expensive too.
Your kids are not pawns. Don't bad mouth her to them even if she bad mouths you. Someday they will figure it out.
You won't get everything and neither will she. Your both going to feel cheated. My late wife used to say she had yet to meet anyone who claimed to have got it all in a divorce.
Emotionally, relax, let it go. Don't let her control your emotions, think before you act and especially when you talk to her. It isn't easy. When my first wife divorced me I was devastated and an idiot for a couple years. But, in the long run I look back at it and believe it is the nicest thing she ever did for me.
Good luck
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