Fantastic Firearms Fables and Tall Tales from Townies.

[Echo40]

Everyone has heard something silly spouted by someone behind the counter at a gunshop, read something utterly absurd on webforums, or heard something completely ridiculous on the news about firearms.
Unfortunately, ignorance of firearms is rather common, especially in the modern era in which the worldview of firearms is predominantly negative, ergo the average person has no particular interest in learning about firearms, and even the majority of firearms owners only possess the absolute bare minimum of knowledge.

Don't get me wrong, ignorance alone isn't necessarily a bad thing — so long as the ignorant party possesses the wisdom to accept/acknowledge the limitations of their knowledge — but ignorance combined with foolishness is a potent recipe for rampant misinformation, and such is a door that swings both ways, ergo even those who are otherwise enthusiastic about firearms can say some extremely silly things if they don't know any better.

But by far, worst of all is when someone starts outright fibbing about firearms they claim to have owned, fired, or built themselves in attempt to impress others...

Case in point, I once knew a young man in his early 20s who was aware that I was into firearms and would attempt to engage me in conversation about them, despite the fact that he clearly had no idea what he was talking about, yet seemed to think that I wouldn't know any better.
So this young man would go on and on about his "Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver" which he claimed to not only own, but frequently carry on his person, except of course for everytime he came over to speak with me, nor did he ever think to take any pictures of it to show to me.

Now, I'm sure that just about anybody here knows that there are several things wrong with his claim to both own and frequently carry a "Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver" yet he on several occasions brought it up, and no matter how many times I would gently try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was simply mistaken or otherwise encourage him to do his homework by making little comments like; "Hmm... Are you sure about that?" or "That's interesting, I've never heard of such a thing..." he never once attempted to reel it back in, do some research, or correct himself. He'd just keep right on telling me about it, complete with tall tales of his last exciting trip out to the range with it, how he was practicing his "peek shots" from behind cover, scoring bullseyes, and leaving his friends all very impressed with how accurate/reliable it was since their Smith & Wesson Revolvers always jammed.

At one point, I had become so flabbergasted by the sheer persistence of his tall tales that I actually stopped just to make sure that there wasn't some crazy high end boutique custom firearms manufacturer under the name of Winchester who might have built him some crazy custom Revolver chambered in .45 WinMag. Unsurprisingly, I was unable to find any evidence that such was the case, so I'm fairly confident that he was in fact, making it all up, yet because I never came right out and said; "Look kid, there's no such thing as a Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver. So either you're terribly mistaken about what you have, are in possession of some sort of goofball Khyber Pass counterfeit that probably isn't even safe to shoot, or you're making it all up to impress me and it isn't working. So which is it?" he just kept right on repeating it everytime that I was out and he came over to chat with me.

Now I'm curious, what's the most absurd story you've ever heard in real life from a friend, acquaintence, or colleague about firearms?

 

[444 Magnum]

"Winchester scoped magnum 45 revolver" Wildcat maybe?

I have a local dealer who knows everything about every gun ever made. I've stopped asking him questions as I never know if the answers are correct or made up.

I don't even visit his store anymore. He keeps "the good stuff" in the back. He has a list of customers (apparently I'm not on the list) that he calls and takes bids on the stuff in the back. Winning bidder (blind bids) gets it. I don't do business that way.

 

[tlawler]

You're so much nicer than I am. I can't stand BS. I just look 'em in the eye and say, "you're full of ____."

Once, not long after "Lethal Weapon" came out and Mel Gibson's character shot the smiley face on the police range, I was talking with the bug guy who was spraying my lawn. He made no reference to the movie, but said the first time he had shot a .44 mag revolver and reeled the target back in, there was a smiley face just like he had aimed. I asked at what distance he had shot, but he couldn't give me a figure. He just said it was so far away that you couldn't see the smiley face till it was reeled back in. I told him what he was full of and went back in my house.

 

[Echo40]

Uh-Oh! My thread got one-starred! You know what the means? Somebody who read it was guilty of this at some point...

Well, in case they come back or anyone else who reads this should become offended, please understand that I mean no offense to anyone who may have been guilty of this in the past. We all make mistakes and seeing as you're here now, that means that at some point you actually got into firearms enough to become an active part of the community and have no doubt learned a fair bit about firearms ever since.

The first step in learning is recognizing that you were wrong in the first place, so don't be ashamed of it. Sincerely, a wise man is wrong many times, but learns from each mistake because he acknowledges it. Never run from a mistake, own it, embrace it, and move forward from it, only then will you rise above the sense of shame that you feel.

 

[Sam D]

Hey!


Fantastic Firearms Fables and Tall Tales from Townies.


I'm a townie, and I like to keep my tales short and to the point.

 

[Gene L]

I have two: first, a guy told me he was getting 2000 fps from a North American Arms 22 Mag.

The other was when I was talking about my silenced Blackout and using heavy bullets. The guy said he was upping the game by using 150 gr. bullets and they made no noise at all.

Both these guys were middle aged. Some people are so invested in their beliefs, it better to let them stay in those erroneous beliefs rather than correcting them.

 

[Miracle Man]

So... myself and another Corrections Officer were shooting the breeze one day at work. I was fairly new and had never worked with him before. Somehow military service came up and I told him I was a Gunners Mate in the navy.

He proceeded to let me know he was a Marine Corps. sniper. I was like wow, cool. Then it begins.....

He began telling me how he's get inserted from an F/A 18 Hornet. I was like, "that sounds crazy". You know since it's a single seat fighter. It gets better.... He then told me he used the same gun that's on the A10 Warthog, the GAU8 30mm. I said "was it a bolt action?" He said yes. "I said in 30mm?" He said yes. I said I did tell you I was a gunners mate in the Navy didn't I ?

I could go on but you get the picture. I told him that seems a little crazy to me. I believe he thought I bought it.

 

[gerhard1]

Many moons ago, this guy at work told me that he had a CCW permit from Topeka, Kansas, (this was long before KS enacted RTC) and he had to qualify for it. Since the targets were not yet out at the range, he started to shoot the clips off of the target holder with a 9mm Browning Hi-Power. The range's owner came out yelling, "You've qualified! You've qualified!"

Another guy told me that he once had an FFL, and he had such good records that the ATF 'begged him not to give his license up".

There are lots of other instances as well, but these are the ones that stand out.

 

[koz5614]

I must say, that I am much less critical of tall tales told by "old-timers" (ie late 70s & beyond) because in my opinion, they don't mean any harm when their spinning a yarn.
Young guys pretending to know what they don't know is a different story, and I'm more inclined to call out the BS

 

[Mule Packer]

I think most of us have come across folks like that. I'm not sure, but there's got to be something a bit off in that person's life, i.e. low self-esteem, insecurities, lack of acceptance, etc. for them to have to lie in order to get attention. Of course, we've all heard or seen those who have gone to extreme measures with their lying in the areas of stolen valor or impersonating law enforcement. While I don't tolerate it, I can't help but feel a bit sorry for those people.

On the other hand, koz5614 is right when he mentions tall tales told by some of us "old timers." Like I've always said, old guys have had some great life experiences...and some of 'em are even true.

 

[Onomea]

Maybe the guy with the Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver was actually ribbing you? Maybe he knew you were a gun guy, and he thought it would be funny to jerk your chain and observe your discomfiture?

As for internet myths, years ago I read a bizarre explanation for the vented rib on a Python barrel. The claim was that the vented rib was to help dissipate heat. I also read something about Colt forcing a silver ball down their (Python?) barrels to make them especially accurate.

 

[Moo Moo]

I had an acquaintance once hand me his new to him, second hand 6" .357 mag N Frame. I immediately recognized it as a Highway Patrol Model 28 from its satin finish and ramped front sight. Confirmed this when I opened the cylinder and found "28" on the inside frame. I said I'd like to get something similar and hoped to get a 6" Model 27 in the future. My acquaintance then tried to correct me saying that what I was holding was a Model 27. He wouldn't believe me until I showed him the "28" on the frame. I'd normally let this sort of thing slide but this bloke was a self-proclaimed gun expert. When I last had contact from him, he was "working deep in the department of Defence" here in Australia. It's one thing that Aussies can't stand, a B.S. Artist. (Feel free to call me out if there's anything I say on here that doesn't seem legit).

 

[DarryH]

two stand out to me. At a gun show the dealer had a sign on a Ruger. It said Security Six, but the gun had fixed sights. I told him it was actually a Service Six. He got indignant and snapped at me. I turned the gun over and showed him the marking. He got madder and told me it WAS a Security Six. I didn't bother looking further at his table.
Then there was the OLD-timer at a gun show, and he was a cowboy when a bit younger. He showed me his very well worn Colt SAA in his holster (unloaded). Then he showed me how the action was set up special for shooting Rattle Snakes with a fast draw from his holster. I could not get it to work like he did. He told me he loaded the 45LC ammo with a very slow load. He said when he shot at a snake, it would always take the head off, as the snake could actually see the bullet coming and would bite at it, thus losing their heads. Now most times I would not believe this, but this did NOT seem to be the type to tell a tall tale and waste his breath. How about one of you in snake country try to prove him wrong or right, and let the rest of us know.

 

[shovelhead]

I just let them ramble on, it's easier.

I'm used to it, forty seven years in auto and motorcycle parts departments and I can't count how many people would insist that just their car would go 140 because it's speedometer was numbered that high.

One time I couldn't resist, had a kid at the counter kept insisting that his car was a "freak" as it would "bury" the needle in his 350 2 barrel Firebird, early 70's model. I could only listen to this for so long, I finally said "that thing wouldn't do a hundred and forty if you dropped it out of a airplane!"

He finally shut up!

 

[ameridaddy]

A guy who actually is an excellent hunter tells me his 22-250 gets "4,500 - 5,000 mumblesomething per second with a 55 grain bullet, and don't never burn out the barrel like they say."
Okaaayyyy. He probably knows the guy above who snipes with a GAU30.
He reloads, but I'm not about to shoot his stuff.

 

[LittleAugieMo]

Had a guy at a gunshow tell me the reason Smith&Wesson pinned the bbl on revolvers was it was "cheaper" than threading them.....I thanked him for the info...lol

 

[ISCS Yoda]

I dunno, I mean, really, didn't Wyatt Earp shoot a Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver at the OK Corral?

Offhand, I can't match those stories but I do have a parallel that I like to repeat. Years ago, when I became a Texas CHL Instructor (since abandoned since I wasn't teaching enough and I didn't like driving a long distance to renew the doggone thing) we had to take the shooting test twice, once with a revolver and once with a pistol. Shooter's choice. I took that test with a 6" M586 (shooting .38 Specials) and a 5" Norinco M1911 (shooting standard FMJ cartridges).

Anyway, the young gent next to me at the range said he was an LEO from San Marcos or somewhere near there in central Texas's Hill Country or maybe it was San Angelo in the Southeast. Anyway, that's irrelevant. Just picture a not-too-tall, well built, cowboy type (the hat and boots, etc.). When we start the revolver test he pulls out a 4" barreled .44 Magnum, maker unknown, checkered wood stocks, and a full box of full house .44 Magnum cartridges. I looked askance at him and stated clearly that I did not think that that was a good idea. He replied that he was an LEO from "wherever" and he knew what he was doing.

Okayyyyyyy.......

50 rounds later his hands were blistered and bleeding. He did qualify, heck, it's not that hard a test, but as he asked the DPS Instructors for Bandaids I laughed and said "I tolyaso" and, good for him, he admitted that I was right.

Still, it wasn't a Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver!

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

Maybe the guy with the Winchester Scoped Magnum .45 Revolver was actually ribbing you? Maybe he knew you were a gun guy, and he thought it would be funny to jerk your chain and observe your discomfiture?

As for internet myths, years ago I read a bizarre explanation for the vented rib on a Python barrel. The claim was that the vented rib was to help dissipate heat. I also read something about Colt forcing a silver ball down their (Python?) barrels to make them especially accurate.

Colt did force a silver looking ball through the Python barrels back in the day. They would not tell the composition of the ball. It would mirror polish and smooth the bore. Pythons back in the day also had a slightly tapered bore toward the muzzle.......All available in the Colt books........The vents in the rib were lightening cuts......Also on the early Pythons the underlug was drilled out hollow to further lighten the weight of the gun.

 

[Onomea]

Well, Mike, I'm skeptical. I don't have access to my library at this time, but which Colt books are you referring to?

Here's an in-depth discussion on the topic from the Colt Forum ten years ago: Python--tapered bore | Colt Forum A professional barrel maker makes several informative comments.

I think the vents on a Python rib are designed to look like, or replicate, a rib like a King modification. There's a pic in the Wilson Book of Colt Firearms showing an early prototype of the Python with no underlug and a King rib attached. The idea with the King rib modification was to add barrel weight for target shooting. Same purpose as a heavy barrel. I think with the Python the purpose of the rib and and the underlug is to look sexy — which it does.

Great looking gun. And it has certainly inspired a lot of devotion and mystique.

 

[Miracle Man]

A guy who actually is an excellent hunter tells me his 22-250 gets "4,500 - 5,000 mumblesomething per second with a 55 grain bullet, and don't never burn out the barrel like they say."
Okaaayyyy. He probably knows the guy above who snipes with a GAU30.
He reloads, but I'm not about to shoot his stuff.

LOL

That's nothing, I get 3,500 FPS out of my 380 auto.